Monday, August 16, 2010


Next weekend, I will be attending a social event on my own. This will be a first.

You really can’t count the junior son's wedding. That was in a class of its own. Nope, this is an honest to goodness social event to which I've been invited, and  rsvp'd "yes" to the Saturday night Mississippi River cruise. I’m publishing this so that next Saturday afternoon when I’m standing in front of the mirror looking for signs of cholera or black plague I will be unable to come up with an excuse not to go since all of you, gentle readers, know I am committed to attend.

I’m not quite sure how I feel about this uncharted territory. My first inclination is to wear a black dress with matching babushka like those women in ZORBA THE GREEK. That way, everyone will say, “oh, there goes a widow,” as opposed to “oh, that’s just some woman who can’t get a date.”

Oh, okay, I’ll admit I did ask a very old friend who lives way across the country, but also happens to know the thrower of said event. He politely declined and equally politely refrained from asking if I’d lost my marbles, although I could sense that was what he was thinking. Another friend pointed out that not only were the odds of his agreeing to come on such short notice were slim to none, she suspected that the short notice just may have been unintentionally intentional on my part. Maybe. Maybe not. I'm not sure.
So someone tell me, what’s so scary about going on my own? I know who’s going to be there. These are not strangers; in fact, there will be other widows in attendance. But what is the protocol for outings such as these? Is there an etiquette book for new widows? Do we sit together at a survivor’s table? Do we dance with each other? Or are we supposed to wait to be asked to dance?

Wait a minute! I got it! It’s junior high redux! What if….what if…..what if????? This is theme and variation of same idiotic questions I had in 7th grade! Good grief! What’s going to happen if someone asks me on an actual date?

Who needs this nonsense? I am way too old to care about this stuff. I am WYSIWYG! Take it or leave it! I am going to this fiesta and I am going to have a perfectly good time.

Now, where did I leave my babushka?

The wifely person’s tip o'the week:
Don’t dye your hair unless you are willing to commit to doing it 
for the rest of your life.


  1. It's probably the questions (What happened? Was he sick?) and it's the well-meaning people who don't want to appear pitying ("I don't think I could what you're doing..." that can be deterrents. But the reality is that every widow, widower, divorcee, etc., has to leave the house sometime and join the world. But you have always been one tough bird, so go, expect the idiots, and have a great time. (And most women will probably be wearing black 'cos it's so darn chic and slimming.) Wear blue or whatever color makes you happy.

  2. You are so eloquent.

    Have a great time, Susan

  3. GO and have a ball. Be your charming and wonderful self. Use it as an opportunity to dress up and feel beautiful. Use it as an opportunity to laugh and have some fun. Use it as an opportunity to reconnect with friends or acquaintances.When you look in the mirror after dressing, give yourself a great big hug. Love you....PS. Have you gone to SB yet?

  4. I say. Have a good time. How many people reading your blog will say, "Look she's sailing on the Mississippi". I can't do that.


  5. Suggest you take Huck Finn or Tom Sawyer with you... they really knew how to have a great time on the Mississippi. In fact, take them both if you're into 3-somes.

    P.S. I'm glad you're going. (You should be too.)