Sunday, April 24, 2011

Post Holes

So there I was, minding my own business on my one real day off during this past week while I was on holiday for the holiday. I took her nibs out for her morning pish and constitutional over to the mailbox to get the morning paper.

“Oh!” says I when I espy said Stribune on the driveway. “I wonder why the newspaper lady tossed the paper here,” I continued as I cast an eye in the direction of the mailbox.

What mailbox? 

Instead of the cedar post holding four tidy black boxes, there was nothing. Looking a little further past the place where the post was supposed to be, there was an explosion of wood, boxes, and mail scattered all over my neighbor’s lawn along with assorted car shards.  I called the cops.

you can see the remains of the post at the far right
When the very nice cop came, he started picking up pieces of car, and quickly pronounced, “Ford,” as he handed over perfectly centered little logo. “Teenager,” Officer Patrick said with absolute confidence. “I’ll check the school parking lots when they get back from Easter break.”

I dutifully informed the other three mailbox owners of the demise of said post, and we agreed to split the cost of a new one, since the odds of the culprit coming forward were slim to none. 

Or so I thought.

Late in the afternoon, the doorbell rang, and there was one of other box owners, along with a note taped to my front door.  The culprit had come forward, and knowing this lady, he called her first. He admitted he had been texting.  The neighbor assured me the kid was in very deep weeds with his folks over this. I said I would call him at the number he provided. 

He was coaching a soccer game when I called, and asked if he could call me back. I said OK.

When he called me back,  the conversation had that peculiar tin-can sound. “Are you driving?” I asked. 

“Uh, yeah," the kid admitted.

I think steam came outta my ears. “Are you some sort of moron? Pull over! Haven’t you learned anything from last night?”   

Apparently not.

I don't know what pissed me off broken mailbox post or knowing that less than a day later, he's out there doing the same thing. What part of "you just had a really expensive accident due to distracted driving" isn't he getting?

I did meet the dad and he confirmed that the kid was financially responsible for the repairs to both the car and the mail post. I strongly suggested that the kid needed to sing the Hang Up pledge, and promised to call off the police investigation, which I have done. 

When the officer called to make sure this is what I really wanted, I explained that since the kid was making appropriate restitution, I was satisfied that the matter was closed. Officer Patrick assured me, in turn, this was a most rare event and I should be thankful.

Behold, the new mailbox post. (Please note the ONLY newspaper box is mine. how sad is that...and this isn't even Michele Bachmann's district!) They even seeded the disturbed area. It's actually quite nice.

Before I sign off for the last two days of yom tov (holy days) I find I must close on a sad note. Back in October, I wrote an post called Burning Candles. Sadly, I must report that fine lady has lost her battle with ALS. May her memory forever be a blessing for her family and her friends. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week
While putting away the Pesadick, be sure to write yourself a note 
listing what needs to replaced for next year.
Then, stick it to the top of a Rubbermaid where you'll be sure to see it right away.


  1. Additional Tip of the Week: Driving while texting or talking on a hand-held cell phone are definite no-nos. Driving while doing both simultaneously, however, provide better balance and result in totally focused driving. Try it, you'll like it!

  2. It is hard enough just to text while texting!

    Sent from my android.

    Perdie nfwjrrh