Monday, July 18, 2011

A year in the blogosphere ~ what I have learned

Before I do anything else, welcome to the readers finding me through Brilliant at Breakfast. This is a scathingly funny blog and I highly recommend it.

On to the business at hand.

This past week marked my one year anniversary in the blogosphere. I can tell you with a perfectly straight face that there is a learning curve here.  In the past year, I have learned a number of lessons, some actually quite surprising and others just weird.

Blogs shouldn’t be too long. People don’t have a lotta time and you wanna get your message out fast and clean. So in keeping with that theory, I thought I would simply list some of the valuable the things I have learned.
1. Unless your name is Elizabeth Mountbatten-Windsor and you happen to wear a tasteful bow-knot tiara while dusting the castle, using the royal ‘we” is presumptuous.

a.  If you have an opinion, make it clear it’s your opinion.

b.  If it’s someone else’s opinion, make that just as clear.

2.  Never get into a pissing war with a stranger via comments. You end up looking like a moron who can’t figure out someone is jerking your chain.

3. With "non-public" figures, don’t name names and then say mean things about those people. This means family, friends, frenemies, coworkers, etc. Flames will burn your butt.

4.  Never identify your place of work then talk about it in anything but the least specific terms possible and never anything bad. They issue your paycheck and if you say bad things they will stop issuing your paycheck and this could be detrimental to your quality of life.

5.  You don’t always have to be ha-ha funny, but you do have to amuse even if it’s only in an offbeat kinda way. If you don’t, people won’t come back.

6.   Remember not to ramble.

7.   Politics are fair game, but someone will always think you’re crazy…and that’s okay.

8.  Be aware that the internet never goes away. If you write it and publish it online, it’s as good, or maybe even worse, than carving it in stone.

9.  Never take credit for someone else’s writing. Google is not your friend, and you will be found out. And if I find out you’re using my work with out proper attribution...

    10.  Always include something to embarrass your children. A blog isn’t nearly as much fun to write if your kids aren’t rolling their eyes after you write it. You don’t even need to mention names or even personal details; all you have to do is express an opinion. That’s usually more than enough to send at least one of them over the edge.

I confess, the last one is my favorite. I have way too much fun predicting what is going to prompt the eye rolling behavior.(See what they mean?)

And lest you think I'm taking a holiday from ranting....Did you happen to catch Michele "the Moron" Bachmann's butchering of a single Yiddish word, a word so common that everyone on the planet knows how to say it? Chuts-pah? What the hell is chuts-pah? This is potentially more annoying than her lack of a tenuous grip on amendments to The Constitution of the United States! Let's not even mention her husband's pseudo-psychology practice. Stay tuned; there's gotta be more of this to come.

Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week
Friends don't let friends shop when they're bored in Antwerp
Mens' 11.5 - 'nuff said.


  1. Happy 1st Anniversary, WP!

    So that you're not up nights worrying about 1a ("If you have an opinion, make it clear it’s your opinion"), I believe your readers have had no problem determining that these are clearly your wild and crazy ideas and positively no one else's!

  2. Love the picture.

    Happy Anniversary.


  3. Is it a year already? My how time flies when one looks forward to your blog each week.

  4. Any man who wears pink striped sneakers is either sending secret codes or is so secure in his manhood that there is no question. As for the size of the sneakers, they look big for 11.5. And you know what they say about that. Although now it's supposed to be the index finger that's the tell. Where can do I find this guy?

  5. I have truly enjoyed your blog!!

  6. You gotta stop allowing anonymous comments, seriously! These people are just too darn funny. :)

    Keep up the good work, kid. You're a natural!


  7. The tennies are a hoot! I bet they go great with pajamas!

    PS - happy one year.

  8. and what i've learned? trust no one!