Listening to the Republican debate the other night was a real old-fashioned thrill. The tit-for-tat bickering between Michele Bachmann and Tim Pawlenty was absolutely riveting; it was like listening to my kids when they were still riding in the back seat. I was waiting for somebody’s mother to stand up and shout, “Do I need to pull this debate over right now?”
I’m glad Congresswoman Bachmann cleared up that little misunderstanding about being submissive to our husbands. “What submission means to us, if that’s what your question is, it means respect.” I’m not sure I quite get how submission means respect, but if she says it’s so, it must be so.
It was important that they all talked about the debt ceiling business at the debate. There were so many conflicting interpretations about what it all meant! You’d think there was actual room for a debate there! I’m pretty sure that no two candidates on that stage had a real firm grasp on how the debt ceiling thing works, but that’s okay. With all those budget cuts they’re promising us, there won’t ever be a need to raise it again!
My favorite quote-user was Herman Cain, the doddery old uncle who wants everyone to play nice. He said, "A poet once said, 'life can be a challenge, life can seem impossible, but it's never easy when there's so much on the line.'" The quote from the Pokemon: The Movie song was truly inspired. Not only did he choose a anime cartoon song to appeal to all those younger voters, the singer of the song, Donna Summer, is a gay community icon. What could be more embracing than that?
Well, it might be Mitt Romney standing on a hay bale at the Iowa State Fair. He told us, “Corporations are people.” Well, I guess if the Supremes have decided corporations are people, who are we to argue? And gee, it's great to know they're paying taxes just like the rest of us regular ol' human people. Maybe it was the way he said it or the way it was reported, maybe it’s Mitt’s hair or his chiseled jaw or his Republicanisms, but I just couldn’t help myself. For a fleeting moment, Mitt was replaced by Charlton Heston at the end of a strangely surreal science fiction movie, shouting, “Soylent Green is corporations!”
Okay, let all admit it’s Rick Perry’s candidacy that is truly exciting. He just takes the bull by the horns and calls in G-d to help out. Of course, when he did this the first time back in the spring, there wasn't any rain to speak of, but this is different. This is the nation that's at stake!
Mr. Perry announced in June that he was inviting governors and people from across the country to join him in a day of prayer and fasting at Reliant Stadium because, as his official proclamation put it, “As Jesus prayed publicly for the benefit of others in John 11:41-42, so should we express our faith in this way.” Although he has invited people of all faiths, Mr. Perry has described it as a “Christian-centered” event to pray for the troubles of the nation. The rally is being organized and financed by the American Family Association, an evangelical organization listed as an antigay hate group by the nonprofit Southern Poverty Law Center.
Texas Rally Renews Debate Over the Boundaries of Perry’s Faith
By MANNY FERNANDEZ
New York Times, August 5, 2011
We shouldn’t be at all dismayed by this. After all Governor Perry sees his governorship as part of his greater ministry:
“At 27 years old, I knew that I’d been called to the ministry,” Mr. Perry said “I’ve just always been really stunned by how big a pulpit I was going to have. I still am. I truly believe with all my heart that God has put me in this place at this time to do His will.”
from the New York Times,
as stated at a fundraising event last May
for the days of prayer and fasting.
Wow. I guess this really is a message from G-d. We should all stop what we’re believing …or not believing…and join up.
Or should we be signing up with Madame Bachman because she says she gets her marching orders from G-d, too? After all, G-d showed her Marcus in a vision and told her to marry him. That has to count for something, doesn’t it? Or maybe, just maybe, we need to think about Mitt’s devotion to Mormonism because, after all, he’s super rich and does look a little like a young Charlton Heston, and Heston did look more like G-d than Moses in the TEN COMMANDMENTS, dontcha think?
All these people talking to G-d…it’s so confusing. Especially since no one ever talks about the kind of stuff they talk about in the Bible. You know, things like caring for the earth, tending to those in need, helping the migrant in our midst because “you were once strangers in the land of Egypt.” You know what I mean. Social responsibility stuff.
But if Michele and Rick, Mitt and Herman tell me I don't need to worry my little brains about stuff like that, I guess I'm going to take them at their word because they're all good Christians and they're not going to let anyone starve or die. Nope. They just wouldn't let that happen.