Monday, May 21, 2012

Are You Now Or Have You Ever Been A Uterist

Sunday morning, I was minding my own business, cup of coffee in hand, and the New York Times…in print….my  favorite Sunday indulgence, before me,  when I happened upon an editorial in the SUNDAY REVIEW section: The Campaign Against Women. There was no by-line, and I supposed that's just as well, being it is an editorial. The piece succinctly delineated the 4 major areas in the Republican platform that put women at risk: abortion, access to health care, equal pay, and domestic abuse. Using legislative changes currently proposed in state legislatures across the country, the thesis is supported by governmental action and not opposition rhetoric. And this should be scaring the shit of women across this country.

Okay, now I can understand the philosophical differences between people who have (or have had) a uterus and people who are less fortunately equipped. I have a father, a brother, and TWO sons. I had a husband (until he had the poor form to die.) I know how penile beings think...and I don't remember any of my guys ever so much as intimating a woman's place was shackled between the bedroom and the kitchen with a nursery in between. 

Recently, seven states have enacted measures that restrict the availability of abortion even in cases of rape, incest, or, most terrifying of all, where the life of the mother is in jeopardy. The new statutes require that a women be "near death" before an abortion can be performed. "'Near death," however is not defined. Wanna battle that one out in court? With your wife or daughter or sister lying there fading away? 

And speaking of women's reproductive rights - here's another update from Fantasy Land: they want to un-fund organizations that provide women with affordable, competent health care INCLUDING but not limited to birth control, AND get rid of the programs that provide support for parents of young children. So, the net result is more kids and no net. Can you please explain to me why on earth you would want to hinder pregnancy prevention? 

In the re-authorization of Violence Against Women Act, our crackhead Congress managed to rip the teeth right outta the bill. Gone, amongst other crucial portions, is the protection for immigrant women whose status depends on a spouse. The end result is that instead of preventing abuse, a whole classification will be more likely to remain with an abuser because there is nowhere to turn.

And as if Wisconsin's Scott Walker's attack on unions followed by the successful demand for a recall election hasn't had any impact on this moron of a governor, he just repealed a state law that allowed women to bring equal pay lawsuits to the state courts rather than to force a long, costly battle in federal court. As if this will discourage women from standing up and yelling, "FOUL!" Or, in Governor Walker's case, "FOWL!"

What is it about these Republican guys that makes them think women are going be herded back into the 19th ...not even the 20th!... century without a fight? Don't these men have wives, mothers, sisters, and/or daughters? Can they not see beyond their own hot air cloud to even glimpse the ramifications?

I am not talking radical feminism here…I’m talking about basic health and human services issues. Believe me, if I was being a radical feminist here, these are not the issues I’d be going after. This is about the status quo with an eye toward a gender unbiased future.

Which brings me back to something that keeps rattling around this little empty head of mine like a pea in a tin can: these guys don’t go after guns and Viagra….both of which are dick things; they go after anything that directly impacts someone with a uterus. Why? What is it about the menstrual cycle that scares them? That women can bleed for 7 days non-stop and NOT die? Or maybe it’s that we can do the one thing they can’t: bring a new life into the world.

Penis envy is bullshit. No one wants one of those; they just get in the way of a guy’s ability to think. Nope. This is a clear case of uterus envy. If they cannot accomplish what we can….they are going to do everything in their power to screw it up for the rest of us.

Ladies….this is our time. We have the ultimate power. If you know a Republican who preaches the gospel of the reduction of women’s rights, reproductive or otherwise, straighten him out immediately. And if you need help, I’m willing to bet there are lots of sisters around who would be more than happy to assist. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week
Getting ready for Shavu'ot? 
Try making your favorite cheesecake with half cream cheese and half neufchatel.
It really does come out fluffier.


  1. "I am not talking radical feminism here…I’m talking about basic health and human services issues." Rights is rights, if you'll pardon the slang.

    Love the post.

  2. You are attempting to apply Socratic logic to neanderthal mentality. The real question is, why would a Socrates ever give the reigns of leadership to a neanderthal?

  3. Nothing like following up a feminist rant against those Republican dick-heads with a lovely cooking tip... kinda reminds me of that old feminist perfume commercial: "I can bring home the bacon*, fry it up in the pan..."

    *fyi not for Shavu'ot