Monday, September 24, 2012

May You Be Sealed In the Book of Life

So I was watching 60 MINUTES because I really did want to hear what both the President and Romney had to say. I'd heard enough teasers but I figured a wonky girl like me had to hear it with my own two ears to decide Romney really did not have clue. And I was doing all right until I got  good look at Mittens.

I couldn't look away. There was something about him. Something weird. I just couldn't quite put my finger on it...until I went to the fridge...and there it was. A lone Clementine sitting in bowl… the same color as Mittens' face. Like the lady who put her five year old in the tanning a spray tan gone horribly wrong. All things considered, if Mittens and his crack political machine can’t mastermind a spray tan, do you really want them running the country? It ain’t rocket science, folks. I mean, even Snooki, his favorite firecracker, can get this right.

But there are more important things on my plate at this particular moment. I’m halfway through making an apple kugel with a crumb topping like a French apple pie for the break-fast at Cousin Laurie’s on Wednesday night. Last year, I was supposed to make creamed herring…but that didn’t happen. By the morning of Kol Nidre, I was too sick to even think about food, much less prepare any. For the first time in my life, I was too sick to go to shul at all. I lay in bed feeling like I’d been hit by truck and about the only atoning I did was over a bucket. Decidedly not fun. Or soul cleansing.

So this year, I feel like I have some catch up to do. I’m almost looking forward to Kol Nidre. A friend from home, someone I’ve not seen since leaving my little shtetl of North Bellmore for college a zillion years ago, will hopefully be joining me at shul. He just moved to Saint Paul and I’m anxious to hear his story.

At sundown on Tuesday, Jews across the globe will begin their fast for Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. Once again, we will recite the long list of sins as a community; as it is written in the Talmud (Sanhedrin p29b, Shavuot 39a),

כל ישראל ערבים זה לזה 

All Israel is responsible one for each other.

We are. 

It’s hard wired into us.

We are also responsible for caring for our greater community and our environment…both local and global

From the moment G-d asks Cain,  “Where's yer brother?” the expectation is set.

We do own ourselves and our actions. When we think about where we have fallen short and where we can do better, we all make laundry lists. My list invariably contains the one where I promise not to go around pissing people off unintentionally…or intentionally. I keep working on that.  But a new one will be to bully my father-in-law just a teensie little bit to get him to leave the house for something other than a doctor appointment or the occasional dinner out.

If I have offended you with my blog and my opinions, I am not sorry about that. It is my blog and my opinion and I am entitled to those. But the intention was not to offend; it was to share, to illuminate, and on really good days, to make you think a little more.

If I have offended you in person, via email, or on the phone, for that I am truly sorry. I shall endeavor not to do it again. Please feel free to let me know what it is or was so that I might not repeat the error. And that is a serious offer. 

And on that note, I shall wish you a year filled with only good things. 

May you all to be sealed in the Book of Life for a 
happy, healthy, sweet, and adventuresome new year. 


  1. Perhaps you heard Nathan Lane on Lederman recently referring to his area of the Hamptons (I think) as a "shtetl". When he used the word a 2nd time, Lederman, who was extremely amused, told Lane it was the first time in the history of his show that anyone had used that word!

    1. Actually, I happen to have been watching...and thought how funny that was. I spent a fair amount of time in East Hampton during my college years...shtetl was not the word I would've used back then.

  2. I think you are being somewhat discriminatory towards Orange-Americans, or as they prefer to be known, Americans of Orange descent. John Boehner is our first Orange Speaker and it was hoped that Gov. Romney would become the first Orange-Amercan President. I would have hoped by now we would have a color blind society. Clearly that is not the case...

  3. Well some readers might find your picture of Romney offensive, but I'm not one of them. That would violate my neutrality in all matters pertaining to human politics.

  4. You sound angry, bitter, jaded, and ignorant.

  5. No, just incredibly naive and biased.
    I read your posting in the NY time, and it was pretty funny. Calling Mitt a bully and no manners. You must have missed the part where ob interrupted the moderator because he had "5 more seconds" then bullied HIS way into more MINUTES of talk. Look at the statistic of WHO OVERTALKED MORE (total talk time), and golly, the OB TALKED FOR 5 MINUTES MORE THAN Mitt (ie, he bullied his way to more talking time). Mitt had no choice but to be a LISTENER. Y'all need to be honest. You backed a Loser. Capital L.

  6. Hello! I read your comment on The New York Times about "How to Die" and followed your blog here. I read through many of your posts and ... in many ways, we sound so much alike:) I love your sense of humor! I love the fact that you have strong opinions but are still open to examining other ideas. Your strong religious faith and Jewish background is the antithesis of my former-fundamentalist upbringing/current atheist. IF the two of us can find so much common ground, one would think that Congress and our 'leaders' could, too. I see so much hate spewed among my 'friends' and relatives on Facebook. The powers that be have worked wonders at dividing this nation. My conspiracy theory is that they do that because 1) it keeps us from uniting in a revolution and 2)there would be money to be made in a CIVIL war.