Monday, February 9, 2015

Grammys, Grumbles, and Moms

I usually don't pay much attention to the Grammy Awards for a bunch of reasons. First, the senior son has not yet been nominated for one. I am certain that when he is nominated, I will be glued to the process. Second, I believe in civility and manners. If someone is giving you an award, you should be charming and nice about it, not entitled and snarky. Third, if the paparazzi of the world are flashing in your direction, dress appropriately. Look nice. You can still be edgy and avant without being a primer for lack-of-common-sense.

Brady Rymer & The Little Band
That Could
This year was a bit different. Cousin Claudia was nominated for a Grammy. When she's not being a fantastic psychotherapist, her alterego is part of Brady Rymer and The Little Band That Could.  This is robust children's music, and the lyrics are seriously good. Their album, Just Say Hi, was nominated and ever since, I've been following Claud's adventures in GrammyLand. Thanks to phone-cams, shooting pictures all over the globe just isn't the challenge it once was. We could watch Claud's progress from preparations through LA to the red carpet and beyond. 

While waiting to progress into the theatre, Claud found herself standing behind Joy Villa, and immediately posted this:

My absolute very first thought was, "Good lord! I hope that woman didn't have chili for dinner!" 

Certainly, this dress would not go unmentioned, and it did not. in fact, there are so many pictures of the front of the dress that it's alarming. Look closely if you dare. 

Now, all things considered, I really don't want to know what color thong she is wearing...even if it is the only thing she is wearing under that...well, I suppose because of its shape, it qualifies as a dress. It's more like an orange snow fence from the beach. Joy Villa is no Cher, and she isn't even Bjork....who wore my all-time favorite red carpet dress ever ~ the swan dress. Yeah, it was kinda ugly, but it was also cute and kicky and avant...and not in poor taste. 

As opposed to Madonna who came in costume, although at first glance, I thought it was a French maid outfit in preparation for 50 Shades of Grey instead of haute couture matador by Givenchy who, up until last night, I thought was a great arbiter of taste. This, however, pales when compared to the I-just-got-outta-the-shower-and-I'm-painfully-late-for-the-red-carpet look sported by Zendaya with her skillfully draped beach towel. What? She couldn't afford snaps? Or maybe a hook-and-eye?

I must be terribly old and a dreadful fogey. I look at these pictures and I want to know what they're selling. I wonder about the kids watching. What do they take away from this view? Do they separate the message from the messenger? Could you ask an 8 or a 10 or a 12 year old girl about what they think when they see women dressed this way...and get a forthright answer? I was the mother of sons; I never gave it much thought, but now I have a granddaughter......

As for the award show, well, it was as tedious as ever. That other paragon of class and elegance, Kanye West, tried to bum-rush poor Beck's Best Album moment. Beck, on the other hand, showed great restraint and manners after the fact by saying only nice things about Kanye while Mr. West continued to say terrible things about Beck. During E's post Grammy show, dear, dear Kanye said:
If they want real artists to keep coming back, they need to stop playing with us....Flawless Beyoncé video, and Beck needs to respect artistry, and he should have given his award to Beyoncé.

Excuse me? Is he Beyoncé's father? Who died and made him the great arbiter of global music? Oh, wait, I remember. He's the guy married to that great arbiter of chic, Bathrobe Woman. What exactly has this braintrust done to warrant the amount of attention they get? Can someone explain this to me?

I didn't think so.

Oddly enough, there was a moment that stood out for me, yet I cannot find the clip. Someone famous (and I confess I do not recall who it was...someone who was terrified of speaking into the mic) talked about the need to pay artists and to make sure all musicians are being paid fairly for their work. I spent a lot of time searching out that clip and even though it was such an important little speech, I could not find it. As far as I am concerned, this was the most important thing said last night. (If you find it...send it here and I will immediately add the link!)

Paying bands with free booze and microwave pizza does not buy the gas, replace the strings, or even pay the utility bills at home. You wouldn't call a plumber and offer him a cut of what fell out of ...the sky that why you would offer a band a cut of the house without a guaranteed minimum pay? Spotify, iTunes, just can't pay the big names. The little guys need the money even more, and if you want cutting edge, new, exciting music, why won't you pay for it?

The senior son is an artist with a day job. Some day jobs are better than others, and some day jobs understand your cockamamie schedule and deal with it because having a locally known artist on staff is a draw all its own. Symbiotic in a way. Not bad for business. 
Like Home Depot hiring Olympics hopefuls while they're in training and supporting that effort, places that support artists should be praised and patronized. 
The guys who are making a buck off some band's music should be asking themselves what live music is worth to their business? You're not paying musicians a minimum wage. You're not paying their insurance or FICA or taxes or any of that other stuff.  Asking a band to drive 200 miles for $50 a piece is so far from reasonable recompense that it's amazing bands can afford to go on the road at all. They bring people into your about actually paying for the privilege of having real people playing real music?

But back to the Grammy Awards for a moment. No, The Little Band That Could didn't; the winner of Best Children's Album went to I Am Malala, the spoken word recording of Malala Yousafzai's book, which didn't make a lot of sense to me since all the other nominees were music for children and this was not. Still, it was an honor to be nominated and they did get a nominee's medal. And best of all, Claudia got to wear that amazing fishtail dress and walk the red carpet.  And that, folks, is the stuff dreams are made of. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

Walking the red carpet? 
Wear clean underwear. 
These days, someone is bound to notice. 


  1. It's all hype and"Look at me day.I can expose my boobs and bum"I am not sure any of them have talent.They all just compliment eah other and I wonder if any of them reallyhave voices except Gaga and Beyonce.I usually don't watch the Grammy's but everything you said is is filled with big egos who shouldn't have themlike Kanye.He is a terrible performer and the guy who won calledhim a genius.Why? why? Good article.

  2. Apparently all the stylists thought Kim looked great so I guess we wouldnot make good stylists.Although one of them did say this drss was mae for someone taller than a toad.