Here it is, a little more than a year away from the finish line, and I'm already sick to death of politics and candidates. That does not bode well, y'know. So, to give everyone a little breather, I thought I'd catch you all up on what's going down over at Chez Wifely.
First of all, the cancer thing has been a real adventure. Unlike many who have been faced with this terrifying diagnosis...including my husband who lost his battle.... I have had it relatively easy. The surgeries went well, I'm pretty much healed up, and I am now the proud owner of 5....count 'em on yer fingers....five tats.
Yep. The staid WP is now sporting 3 tats down the center of my torso, then one on each side. I hear they're all spelled right, too. Actually, I can't even find 'em when I look, they're so tiny. I know they are there because the zapper machine was able to read 'em this morning during the radiation dry run.
The truth is, I'm more nervous about the radiation than I was about anything else. I know it has to be done, and I know it's relatively easy to do, but the concept of purposefully irradiating part of me is vaguely disconcerting. The techs tell me I won't be glowing in the dark anytime soon, and that, I admit, is a little disappointing. I was hoping to be my own Halloween decoration......
Let me tell you what I've learned these last couple of months.
- I learned about me. Let's just say I'm a tough ol' bird and likely to remain so.
- I learned about independence.....or rather, how much I despise being dependent on others.
- I learned about my relationships with other people. There were some surprises in there, but overall, it made me rethink how I am when others ask me for help. More than once, Senior Son has commented on my lack of "empathy skills." He's probably right about that, and having to ask for help from others drove that point home. BIG TIME.
- I learned that my expensive insurance is really, really good insurance. They paid for things my doctors warned me they might not pay for....like one of the genetic tests (they paid the whole thing) and the cream for radiation (totally covered with no co-pay.) The EOBs are easy to understand and their website a breeze to navigate.
- I learned that the company my company pays to manage Leave of Absence stuff must cut down more trees for paper pulp than the The New York Times... based on the number of packets I get from them. About once a day, occasionally two arrive in the same day. Can you say, "ecologically unfriendly," boys and girls?
- I learned that every day with my nonagenarian parents is a gift of time I never thought I would have. Even while they are dealing daily with end of life issues, their beds are pushed together so they can hold hands in the night. I am in awe of their tenacity.
- And I leaned that having my mother here while I'm going through breast cancer ...even at my advanced age...is the best medicine of all. Not that she does anything special, or says anything particularly earth shattering... but my mom is here, in the present, able to understand when I'm scared. And we laugh. A lot.
I'm already back in the office and I'm hoping that three weeks of radiation won't slow me down too much. The ubiquitous they tell me attitude is everything and it's wholly possible I will sail right through the three weeks. Well, their mouths to G-d's ear!
So, enough of this self-indulgent claptrap. Next week, I should be back to being pissed off about something....so watch out.
The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week
Self-reliance is not innate, it is a skill.
You must practice it every day.