The Way We're Not Anymore

Back when I was a young whippersnapper in high school and still dreamed of digging in the Mideast, I got to have lunch with a prominent woman archaeologist. We had an amazing conversation. She talked about the places she'd been to dig, and I got to ask a gazillion questions. Then she asked me what I was planning for a speciality. Being the idiotic teenager I was, I told her: ancient semitic written language. Oh, she thought that was great, until I told her I wanted tomb walls and buried spaces. She tsk-tsked at me, sighed, and said, "you are ill-equipped for digging in the places you would need to dig."

I was stunned at her response. "Why?"

Her answer was perfectly blunt....and correct for 1968. She said, "You lack a penis." She explained there were other women with that speciality, but they were primarily attached to labs, libraries, and existing sites. None of them were actually digging because they were unable to get local permits. She said she hoped this would change, but probably not soon enough for me to do what I wanted to do.

As luck would have it, I left the world of archaeology in my sophomore year of university to pursue theater. My mother once told me she and dad got whiplash from the switch. Yeah, it was sudden. I decided to leave Oakland University in Michigan (for a variety of reasons) and applied to 6 schools: 5 archaeology programs and one theater program. I got into all of them and chose Skidmore College, still pretty much a girls' school at that time, where I studied directing, playwriting, and swearing-like-a-sailor.

You can't see me, but I'm there

Junior year, I had the unique opportunity to "intern" for a couple of weeks on a major motion picture. (6 nominations, 2 Oscars) and had a grand time doing it. Everyone was so nice and dragged me from meeting to meeting so I could get a real taste for film. Everyone except one actor, an ugly, pimply pig, who hit on and tried to grope me one too many times. The executive producer dealt with him on my behalf. The pimply actor still has acne scars and is a right-wing asshole with a MAGA hat. (Use your imagination; it's not hard.)

I chose the University of Minnesota for grad school because their directing program was supposed to be top notch: brand new theater building (lovingly called Rarig High) and ties to the Guthrie Theater. During my first week at the U, I was asked by three different people who I was going to sleep with for a fellowship. Turned out all the girls were asked the same question by the same three guys in basically the same fashion. A friend from Skidmore was a year ahead of me and I asked her if she had been asked. She said yes, but to ignore the assholes that asked me. Then she added that if I liked any of the assholes who had sway in any of the programs in which I was interested, fucking them would, indeed, help to speed any application. 

While there still may be place in the Mideast where owning a penis is a requirement for heading a dig, the other stuff is gradually fading away....or so we would like to think. 

Donavan's Reef (1963)

Rejecting sexual harassment is a pretty recent phenomenon. Women have been treated as chattel, objectified, abused, threatened, brutalized, and humiliated simply for being women. Women attempting to get ahead these days may not be as readily abused, threatened, or humiliated in the workplace AS MUCH, but it happens and tolerating that class of behavior is becoming increasingly unacceptable. This is a good thing. Depicting that kind of behavior in art is not as easy as it once was. How do you tell the story now? Do you wipe away film and plays which show women being treated as they once were? Anything with a rape scene is forbidden? I'm not sure what you do with the past, much less how to tell a story in the future. 

Do hugging, air kissing, and shoulder squeezes constitute sexual contact and harassment? I suppose if you are uncomfortable with close physical contact from huggers, then yeah, it does. If you're okay with a hug greeting, probably not. But where is the line? If you're an exuberant hugger, you probably wanna start asking permission to hug. Or is that weird?

But that's not really the question I have in mind tonight as I listen to interviews with Andrew Cuomo's accusers. If some of this stuff happened 30, 40 years ago, I would have to say the climate has changed; what was "acceptable" misbehavior is no longer tolerated and is now deemed criminal. Should Andrew Cuomo be held accountable for his inappropriate actions? Hell, yes! He portrayed himself as a champion of women while his hands were doing exactly what his mouth said should not be done. There is a contradiction here that must be reconciled by not just the citizens of New York State, but by the court of public opinion in this nation.

[UPDATE: Governor Cuomo has resigned.]

Everyone knows at least one hugger and probably at least one squish-hugger. You know what I mean. And there are some people you really don't want to hug for a variety of reasons, and you shouldn't have to apologize, explain, or feel weird about stating as much. You learn to deflect and avoid. Everyone should have that skill...even little kids. If they don't want to be on either the giving or receiving end of a hug, they shouldn't be. That's their right as a sentient human being. 

But what do we do with the portrayals? GONE WITH THE WIND has huge problems, but in 1939, civil rights had not moved into the forefront of our national collective conscience. Is it still a good movie? Do we reevaluate it from our perspective? What about THE BIRTH OF A NATION, with its black-face performances and treatment of the Klan? Does that these were even produced and were popular in their day require reevaluations? Yes, but not to ban them. 

If you've never seen the 1939 version of THE WOMEN, you should find it and watch it. For women of the 21st century, it's 2 hours and 20 minutes of non-stop mixed messages. Norma Shearer is a joy to watch, you want to kill Joan Crawford, and Rosalind Russell is bonkers. It's a total period piece and the ending sets me off every time, although it's supposed to be a comforting, happily-ever-after kinda thing. But what's important about this film is that it captures rather succinctly the condition of upper middle class women of the period quite well. You get a glimpse into a different kind of life with expectation. Hardly modern for us, but at the time? It was a total leap forward. How do we judge those characters? By their standards...or by ours?

There is a certain amount of necessity in watching old movies to see how the relationships between men and women unfold according to the period. There are going to be scenes that are intolerable today, but do we discard the images, or just note that the portrayal is not reflecting modern values? I keep thinking about Debbie Reynolds popping out of the cake in SINGING IN THE RAIN. The subsequent scene with the cake is really funny in context, but scantily clad women popping out of cakes is objectification, is it not? Just because we don't pop outta cakes these days, does that mean we have to give up the Good Morning dance scene?

Which brings me to the last station on this railroad. Is there a cutoff for prosecution? Is there a point before which we just have to accept much of that questionable behavior as normative? I'm not talking about rape, violence, or sexual slavery; I'm talking about the casting couch, the "friendly" groping, and involuntary squish-hugging. I'm not suggesting they were okay at any level, but at the time they took place, was an action normative as opposed to aberrant? 

I cannot see me marching into Minneapolis City Hall with a complaint about being propositioned 40 years ago. Yes, it was as despicable then as it is now, but the difference is back then, it was SOP: Standard Operation Proposition. Did I complain about it back then? I was warned off of that scenario. On the flip side, when my MFA degree application was declined because I was "another Jew in the department" I did take action, and yes, I have an MFA. While similar in harassment and verbal abuse, the antisemitism thing was actionable. The sexual innuendo was not. At least not at that time.

In coming to grips with today's expectations and environment, one has to come to grips with the past, recent and long term, as well as the present before a future for behavior can be standardized. This may sound simple, but it's not. I believe there needs to be demarcation in the timeline for culpability. 

At the same time, I believe if we are going to move forward as a culture, a community, and as human beings, we need to set our sights on current positioning and future behavior. Teach the kids, accept nothing less than fairness and equitable behavior from our leadership, and most of all, stand up to walk the walk. Talking isn't good enough anymore. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

If you have a 23 years old furnace and air conditioner,

have them checked routinely for safety.

Being proactive saves time, money, and lives. 

A bit of catch-up ...and a plea for understanding. Not.

 Let's start with the good news today: the new book has a cover:

If you click on the picture, you can probably read the blurb on the back cover, and yes, that is me in the lower left-hand corner. But there it is in all its glory. Now, the work of designing the interior begins. Have two other books out there, I can tell you that getting the format right ain't easy. Talk about constantly moving parts! There's a glossary in the back, a cast of characters, and a definite need for at least one line map of the Mediterranean basin. My designer tells me not to worry, it's all doable, but this is like sending your baby to kindergarten: you know you hafta, but it's hard to let go. Really hard. Meanwhile, there are two other books awaiting my attention on my desk, and if the truth be known, I am anxious to get cracking on one of those. It's time. I simply have to stop obsessing about this book. With any luck, it will be published in October. 

I hope. 

Meanwhile, back on the planet, Delta Force is taking over, infecting people willy-nilly regardless of age, race, religion, nationality, gender, language, musical preferences, or tolerance for pain. The only thing that seems to get in its way is THE VACCINE. Seems that if you're vaccinated and get a break-through hit of COVID, your illness is significantly less severe, you probably won't end up in a hospital, much less an ICU, and you'll recover more quickly. According to a variety of news sources. As per CNN on August 2, 2021

The CDC reported 6,587 Covid-19 breakthrough cases as of July 26, including 6,239 hospitalizations and 1,263 deaths. At that time, more than 163 million people in the United States were fully vaccinated against Covid-19. 

Divide those severe breakthrough cases by the total fully vaccinated population for the result: less than 0.004% of fully vaccinated people had a breakthrough case that led to hospitalization and less than 0.001% of fully vaccinated people died from a breakthrough Covid-19 case.

Folks, those are some interesting stats. IF you are fully vaccinated AND you test positive for COVID-19, very, very few people land in the hospital...as the article states, less than 0.001% of fully vaccinated people. That does not mean, however, that you cannot carry the disease even if you are completely asymptomatic. You can. And you can still infect others. 

As we approach the new school year, vaccinations are still not available for the under-12 set, so there is a large population who is not vaccinated, nor can they be. Yet. They may not be as susceptible to the disease, but they can still carry the virus. Which means they can pass their little viral friend to the next person. Logic demands that we be especially aware of this possibility and be supportive/respectful of families with younger-than-12 kids. 

On the other hand, families who refuse to vaccinate over the age of 12 also need special consideration. When dealing with a family or individuals who refuse to vaccinate, respect their rather misguided wishes and socially distance at least 300 feet from them. To be perfectly blunt, they should be protected from all family gatherings. You must respect their desire to remain COVID-free by providing them with a zone of anti-contagion. While you are safest wearing a mask in public, you MUST wear a mask around them to prevent them from getting the disease. Schools, malls, public gathering places such as houses of worship or ball parks would be best requiring the unvaccinated to either sit in their own outside section from the vaccine crowd, or not to come at all...for their own protection. They are vulnerable and can easily pick up the infection.

While hospitals cannot turn away the unvaccinated, an unvaccinated person entering a hospital zone should automatically be directed to an area separated from the rest of the ER or lobby. Again, this will lessen their chance of picking up the virus from an unsuspecting vaccinated person. 

What actually worries me the most about the recent uptick in infection and hospitalization is not knowing the unvaccinated are the ones bearing the brunt of this outbreak, it's what comes next. I talked to my cousin Dr. Tom tonight about a number of pandemic issues...and for the record, he agreed with BBBruce who said hospitals cannot just turn away unvaccinated people (my idea for triage.) But Dr. Tom did talk about something that's been niggling at the back of my mind: what comes next. 

Viruses mutate. That's what they do. Delta is but one mutation. There will be more. They will all do something ever so slightly different. Are we nimble enough, scientifically, to match that mutation? Or are we looking down the road to worsening contagion as the new mutations develop? There is so much "we" don't know, that the most reasonable way to prepare for the next wave is to pay attention. To mask when we are advised to do so. To be agile enough to have teams working on vaccine boosters and variants. Every year, the flu shots are tweaked for the latest version of that disease. Perhaps that's what will happen fo COVID: each year, a new booster ups the game against the latest mutant. By the way, that's what science does. It's what they're supposed to do. Scientists are supposed to investigate problems and find new solutions. 

If you are not vaccinated, that's your choice. I can respect that. In turn, you should respect your need for separation and stay away from those of us who have vaccinated, both in public and private settings. We are safe unto ourselves, but we can still infect you. This is for your own protection as much as ours. I would hate to learn I inadvertently infected, sickened, or worst case, killed you because I was an unknowing carrier and I was physically close enough to pass the virus to someone with no defense. And wouldn't that just be a shame. 

Just get the damn shot and save your world. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

Next time you find yourself at a cemetery, take a walk until you find the old graves,

the ones from the mid-20th century and before. Notice all the baby and children's headstones. 

Then walk back to the modern section and notice how few baby and children's headstones 

can be found amongst the more recent graves. Sure there are some, but very few.

This is because of advances in medications and vaccinations.

Almost no one dies of pertussis, measles, or polio in this country, do they?

From Chesed Shel Emes Cemtery

Curiouser and Curiouser: Sexed Up Olympics

Curiouser and curiouser; the hit'o'meter is still spinning courtesy of Sweden. I have not heard from anyone in Sweden with any sort of explanation as to why they suddenly love me there, so, I will ask again:

Om du är en av mina vänliga läsare från Sverige, berätta för mig: varför är jag så populär där? Jag hoppas att det inte har något att göra med det svenska kvinnofotbollslaget. Det var ett mycket spännande spel ... och ja, jag såg det.

That was a serious question. If you happen to know the answer, please share. I am truly curious.

Caeleb Dressel

Now, on to more important topics. About the Olympics: I confess, I've been watching some of it. Mostly as background noise while I do other things, but I did catch the 4x100 meter swimming relay. Women of a certain age might want to refrain from seeing those boys in their long-leg speedos.  Hubba! Hubba! (Cut me some slack here...I'm a widow and they're wearing bathing suits!) At least the teeny-tiny speedos are gone...at least until diving starts, and then, there's a different discussion to have. I imagine women all over the world are enjoying the view. Still, the men's uniforms are not nearly as overtly sexual as the women's togs.....think beach volleyball,

I also watched women's beach volleyball and there is no way in hell you will ever convince me those bottoms are comfortable after one slide in the sand. However, an interview with The Huffington Post Kerri Walsh Jennings said this is what the women want to wear:

When it comes to beach volleyball, we’re playing in 100-degree-plus weather. I think we’ve just gotta educate the public, take it with a grain of salt and make sure that we’re working hard and not playing up the sex appeal because it’s inherent anyway. 

Egyptian team

According to the ICO, bikinis are not required. The Egyptian team covers up in accordance with Muslim tradition, but they manage to play. The choice of attire is up to the team. At least in beach volleyball. Various accommodations have been made for religious modesty and that's as it should be.

Norwegian team

But when the Norwegian Beach Handball team refused to wear bikini bottoms, they were fined by the IOC. Singer Pink stepped up and offered to pay the whole fine. Meanwhile, If you want an explanation that defies all understanding, you can read the rules at Olympics kit rules: Why beach volleyball bikinis have to be small, and other Tokyo 2020 restrictions

The men's team, however, manages to play in tank tops and shorts just fine. They used to play shirtless until the IOC said they had to wear shirts so individual team numbers were visible. Makes sense to me. These guys are all poster guys for body-beautiful, but they're not flaunting their 8-pack abs all over the sand. (Then again, shirtless men are perfectly acceptable, right? Men have always gone shirtless on the beach and women haver generally covered up. Is that the way it should be? Probably not. Women should go topless if they want. But this is not a conversation about convention; it's about sexuality in what is for all intents and purposes, the workplace.)

So what's the allure of playing in skimpy clothing at all? Sand in a bikini bottom is horrible. Why would you want to slide on the sand in that? Why not, ladies of volleyball, just paint your numbers on your back and play naked? Wouldn't that be most comfortable? But that's just not done.

I am not the only one concerned about the sexualization of Olympic attire. The German gymnastics team has put their collective feet down on the matter, and are refusing to wear the bikini cut leotards. Instead they are wearing full body unitards. From The Washington Post

Germany’s female gymnasts stood out from other Tokyo Olympics competitors Sunday during a team qualifying round by wearing unitards, rather than traditional leotards. They first wore the bodysuits in competition during the European championships in April, when the German Gymnastics Federation said the choice of apparel was meant to counteract “sexualization” in the sport.

Sarah Voss, one of the team members, in a interview with the BBC in April said:

We women all want to feel good in our skin. In the sport of gymnastics it gets harder and harder as you grow out of your child’s body. As a little girl I didn’t see the tight gym outfits as such a big deal. But when puberty began, when my period came, I began feeling increasingly uncomfortable.

What a remarkable thing to say! I applaud her for coming out to recognize that this the difference in girl v. women's bodies. After that debacle of Dr. Nasser and the sexual abuse and exploitation of the USA gymnastics program, maybe it's time to examine the messages we send when we send out women athletes into the arena in little more than a strip of coverage? Since the day Sonje Henie started wearing short skirts to complete back at the 1928 Olympics, the move toward less and less coverage is really easy to follow. Some of it makes perfect sense, other trends, less so.

Isn't it enough that our women athletes perform feats of strength, agility, and daring without adding the artifice of sexual appeal? They are amazing in their own bodies. Do they really need eyelash extension to improve their performance? Are the people that stuff them into these revealing costumes really trying to tell them their grace and endurance are not enough? That their bodies have to be exposed, flaunted, and ogled by the crowds?

For a long time I have railed against overly provocative clothes not because they are shameful or sinful or any bullshit like that. But because I wonder what we are telling the wearers, especially young women, about their self-worth. 

Remember A CHORUS LINE? There's a great song called Dance: Ten; Looks: Three:

Dance: ten; Looks; three.

And I'm still on unemployment,

Dancing for my own enjoyment.

That ain't it, kid. That ain't it, kid.

"Dance: ten; Looks; three, "

Is like to die!

Left the theatre and

Called the doctor for

My appointment to buy...

Tits and ass.

Bought myself a fancy pair.

Tightened up the derriere.

Did the nose with it.

All that goes with it.

The entertainment industry is not women's athletics. Apples and oranges. Kerri Walsh Jennings is not auditioning for a part. Sure, she and all the other women of Team USA are entitled to wear whatever makes them comfortable in the arena that fit the guidelines handed out by the various sport ruling bodies, but ultimately, what they wear is also a message to young aspiring athletes who want to emulate them... right down to the clothing.

JonBenet Ramsey

Look, the old-time feminist side of me would love to say who cares, get over yourself but the other side that sees the exploitation of girls and young women as unrelenting in our society wants to tell those same girls and young women that their bodies are not for sale, they are not for ogling, they are not for someone's prurient enjoyment. If they work hard and train and sacrifice for their athleticism, they don't need to display anything but their skills in the arena. They don't need to become overly sexual to succeed. How many of you think Little Miss Pageants are okay? That dressing up toddlers like over-dressed grownups is okay? How many of you remember JonBenet Ramsey and shudder when you recall those headshots? 

The women of Team USA are not beauty queen wannabes, they don't need to be sexed up to compete. They are women of power and commensurate skill. If we admire them, it's because we admire what they have accomplished. They, along with their male counterparts, have excelled in their sports to earn a place on this team. Their skill, their prowess, their tenacity does not need to be dolled up. 

Just look at their opening ceremony uniforms. Did you think I was kidding?

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

Drought conditions in the midwest and far west are no joke.

Extreme caution is advised, especially with any form of fire.

For those at home. Keep watering to a minimum.

Running water is a privilege, not a right.

575 posts, 407,000 hits = 11 Years of The WP Speaks

Long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away.....nope

11 years ago today, Sgt. Pepper did NOT teach me to play....not that either. 

Time is on my side, yes it is....nah, I don't think so.

If I could put time in a bottle....not that either.

Time it was, and what a time it was, it was a time of innocence, a time of confidences

     Long ago, it must be, I have a photograph; preserve your memories; They're all that's left             you.... Closer.

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear. 525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure       a year?...much closer

11 years ago today, it was Tisha b'Av, and I wrote my very first blog entry: Welcome To My World. To be honest, I thought it was going to be about moving through widowhood. 

I've been under a great deal of pressure from several sources (you know who you are) to start a blog. Now, all things considered, this was Steve's gigue. He was Ziggy. Ziggy's Joke o'the Day was out there before there were blogs. ZJOD was, in its own way, legendary.

Night after night, yawning with exhaustion, I sat on the couch in his office, listened to him read "the intro," and then edit it on the fly. Oh, how we argued over word choice and sentence structure. The debates were grand, sometimes heated, but always ended with "gimme a kiss and get outta here so I can get this thing out the door." And every night, when he finally stumbled into bed, I would always be just awake enough to feel two pats on the butt, followed by, "You're a good ol' broad, y'know that?" And I always snuggled a little closer.

There are no more pats on the butt. And no one who is going to sit on my sofa and opine at my work. It's a dirty job, and I wish with all my heart that he was here to do it. But he's not.

Well, where to begin? What do I want to say? Oh lordy, such a fertile field and so many things on which I would like to comment. May as well just dive in and immediately get myself into trouble.

I thought I would write honest and wise things about the transition and the rest of that malarkey. I think that lasted about a week. Then I started opining. 575 episodes later, I'm still opining. And I've not missed a week. Okay, there was one "gone fishing" episode because I was sick, and a week of "greatest hits" but I wrote the intros for those. But who's counting?

In the blogosphere, this is considered to be a very long run. I've tried to quit several times, but readers have convinced me otherwise. Not a lot in the way of comments these days, but I get a pretty good dose of email from readers, so I know they're out there. 

407,000+ hits as of today. That's about 37,000 hits a year. It doesn't quite work that way, but that's a good average for someone who does not monetize (accept ads) or advertise. Before the Cookie Wars began in Europe, I had a lot more recorded hits per day, but I don't worry too much. I'm not in this for a buck, I'm in it for the joy of expression. 

11 years ago, in that first episode, I wrote about how the ultra-orthodox Haredim were a threat to Israel's democracy and to the state's relationship with the Jews of the Diaspora, of which I am one. At the time, I had been in Israel once, in 1969, and had spent Tisha b'Av in Jerusalem. That was a watershed experience for me. 

Since then, I've been back to Israel twice and have visited Jerusalem both times. I've seen up close and personal what goes on at the Kotel. I've also witnessed in real time when I stay up later to daven with Women Of The Wall on Rosh Chodesh (New Moon). I've seen the gangs of haredi girls screaming at the women who are there to pray. I've see teenage boys throw trash at the Torah readers. This is how Jews behave toward other Jews? Apparently so. 

Tisha b'Av 5781 - The Kotel - 17July 2021

Saturday night and Sunday, as crowds gathered to mark the destruction of both the first and second Temples, an area had been sectioned off for egalitarian and family prayer. This was a major step in recognizing plurality at the wall. Fat chance. A gang of teenagers began to erect a mechitza, a separation wall between men and women. It was all captured, of course, on video.  The hatred is palpable...and for what? The sound of women's voices lifted in song? Men and women praying together? How do you hate people praying the same words, the same melodies, reading the same Torah you do? If all haredi were united, I might buy the sectarian stuff...but they are not. Ashkenazi haredi hate the Sephardi haredi, and they all hate the Mizrachi haredi. All because of minhag...custom. Baseless, ridiculous hatred for no reason. 

[And here's a fun-filled factoid for those of you who think Israel is European: Mizarchi Jews make up the largest percentage of Israelis. 2018 numbers show a population of 4,000,000 Mizrachi Jews out of the entire population of 9,050,000. And if that's not enough, Jews make up about 74% of Israel's population. Of that 74% non-haredi Jews make up 63% and haredim make up 11%. Can you say "stranglehold," boys and girls?]

11 years, a new government with good intentions, and nothing has changed...yet. The same thoughts I had 11 years ago, I still have: that the diaspora is in danger of being splintered by haredi hate for the rest of the Jewish people. If you don't sign on to their brand (whatever that is) you are not a Jew. The State must come to terms with the reality of this sinat chinam...baseless hatred. 

One would think that with everything going on in Israel, this would no longer be an issue. Ha! Back in 2019, I wrote an episode, Live From Jerusalem:

No, gentle readers, that doesn’t mean life is a Utopian paradise here. It doesn’t mean the government behaves well or that there is no strife. There is. Plenty of it. As I mentioned above, hate is universal and Israel has added a whole classification to internal hate. It has significantly less to do with skin than it does with how you believe. Hate flourishes on an inter-Haredi scale that is terrifying. I am equally as certain that G-d did not have this kind of incredibly poor behavior in mind when Torah was given. Nowhere in any of the canon does it say hate your neighbor, much less hate your fellow Jew.  The Rabbinut has cornered that market on self-loathing and, as hard as it is to believe, antisemitism. Israel is supposed to be a democracy, and happens to be the closest government to a democracy in the entire Middle East. The last two Israeli elections have driven that point far enough home so that it is almost impossible to form a government. But that’s a different rant. 

This rant is about what it means to live here, in Israel, even if I am only a visitor. Just as I consider myself to be a New Yorker living in exile in Minnesota, I am also a Jew who lives in the Diaspora. There are more and more days I wonder if I could survive making aliyah. The thought is never far from my mind (especially these days) because ultimately, this is our home turf. Once you’ve walked on it as a Jew, you get it. It feels different. And you are never the same again.

I stand by what I say in that second paragraph. Jerusalem feels different if you're a Jew. The shit-ass behavior on display Saturday night does not negate that, it only reinforces the idea that the ideological war is not yet over. I wonder if it will ever truly be over, but I want desperately to believe that one day it will. I still believe despite our differences in prayer, observance, and custom, we remain one people. Am Echad....One People, one heart. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

"If I forget you, o, Jerusalem, let my right hand lose its cunning.

May my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth..."

Psalm 137: 5-6

Walking on Second Temple period paving stones: 70 C.E. -  2019

God morgon, Sverige! Välkommen Till Min Värld

God morgon, Sverige! Välkommen till The Wifely Person Speaks!

Förra veckan hade jag tusentals (ja, tusentals) träffar från Sverige. Någon som vill berätta för mig varför jag plötsligt är så populär? Jag klagar inte, jag är glad, men bara nyfiken på att veta varför. Om du vet, vänligen skriv en kommentar eller skicka mig ett mejl. Oavsett anledning, jag är glad att du är här.  (Tack Google Translate!)

That was a not-so-secret message to my readers in Sweden. For the last week or so, the hit-o-meter was spinning at a furious pace, with over 3,000 hits from Sweden alone. I am so not complaining about that. Viewing the stats, it appears people are reading the whole opus, not just the last few episodes. Why? Was it something I said? Did someone share me? I am dying of curiosity here. 

Back in the olden days when Ziggy was doing Ziggy's Joke o'the Day, he had actual fan clubs in the strangest places: Australia, New Zealand, and the Faroe Islands. These guys actually met in pubs, talked about "the column," and sent in jokes. It was amazing to read the stuff these guys sent in. [Guys only: to the best of our knowledge, no women were involved in this. His female fans seemed to all be in the States.]. The WP does not have official fan clubs, nor does anyone send me jokes, or even tips for that matter. Tips would be nice; I confess, sometimes the original versions of my tips are even a bit too snarky for me and they have to be revised or totally discarded. But I digress...as usual.

Truth be told, I have regular readers on every continent except Antarctica. And I get my fair share of emails from readers who ask questions, or just wanna say hi. And if you've written to me, you've gotten an answer. Ziggy always said, rightfully so, if someone takes the time to write, you should have the courtesy to respond, even if it's hate mail. And for the record, the writer of a rather vitriolic tirade was, for quite a few years, one of my favorite correspondents until he passed away. We never agreed on anything except Jay Leno not being funny. 

Which kinda brings me around to this week's soapbox: creative writing for the masses. 

Last week, THE POMEGRANATE finally got ISBN numbers....those pesky numbers that all published works have on the back cover. You gotta pay for those, one per medium, so The Pom, as it is known around here, has two: one for the paperback and one for the ebook. Almost exactly 5 years ago, I bought the ISBN numbers for DREAM DANCER, and 3.5 years ago, the ISBNS for LINGUA GALACTICA. So, this is the third novel. Each one is very different from the others. All three are fiction. That means I made up the stories. They are not real. The people in them, except in the case of The Pom which is about the period of the Third Crusade has historical real people in it. But that's allowed. And the historical fiction real people pretty much act the way the actual real people acted based on biographies and assorted primary, secondary, and tertiary documentation. 

Yesterday, in honor of my birthday (just kidding) Feckless Loser was on Fox's Sunday Futures with Maria Bartiromo and once again described the invasion of the US Capitol as a loving expression of patriotism. So Feckless went to town on the broadcast:

So, there was a big rally called. And, actually, when I say big, who knew? But there was a rally called.

And a tremendous number of people, the largest one I have ever spoken before, is called by people, by patriots. And they asked me if I'd speak. And I did. And it was a very mild-mannered speech, as I think has been -- in fact, they just came out with a report in Congress, and they didn't mention my name, literally.

But what they were complaining about and the reason, in my opinion, you had over a million people there, which the press doesn't like to report at all, because it shows too much -- too much activity, too much -- too much spirit and faith and love. There was such love at that rally.

You had over a million people there. They were there for one reason, the rigged election. They felt the election was rigged. That's why they were there. And they were peaceful people. These were great people.

The crowd was unbelievable. And I mentioned the word love. The love -- the love in the air, I have never seen anything like it.

And that's why they went to Washington.

Read the whole interview. Keep a barf bucket nearby.

The fictionalization of such recent history is disturbing. That a major network continues to promote that fantasy is problematic on a number of levels, not the least of which is the First Amendment. Fox has the right AND the obligation to present dissenting opinions. This is a huge part of the integrity of journalism, something that is lacking in most of the networks. News lacking integrity is little more than infotainment, and with few exceptions, that's what's broadcast to the masses, and depending on where you sit on the political spectrum, chances are you believe whatever newscast you're watching. 

Believe what you will, the quest for spin-less journalism is fading. More and more people are giving up the fight for news sources that tell an unvarnished truth. I'm getting ready after being a life-long New York Times reader (literally) to end my subscription. Their coverage of world events is no longer trustworthy, especially when it comes to the Middle East. Their national news is iffy at best, and the op ed page is populist at best and lacking substance. What passes for opinion on that page stymies me. I miss the old substantiated opinions even when I vociferously disagreed with them. At least there was a discussion taking place. Maureen Dowd's recent column on Bernie Sanders was just plain insulting. She wanted gossip, he gave her the needs of We, the People. Really? They cannot do better than Maureen Dowd? Even Ross Douhat has more integrity than that and I cannot stand the man.

Whether it's politics or climate change, facts are facts, science is science, and lies are lies. This is pretty much immutable. You can argue politics and climate change. You can argue about the merits of Reaganomics versus Obamanomics. You can argue about lots of stuff in science based on process, theory, even theorem on occasion...like, the world isn't really round, it's more of an oblate spheroid. But saying that the world is flat is pretty much a non-starter. And going on the Sunday morning chat shows to push the idea of the world is flat is just as ridiculous as saying the assault on the capitol was a love-fest.

The recent increase in hate crimes, the very fact there was a nationwide rally against antiSemitism yesterday, is not the direct result of hate, these are the fruits of fear. Fear of the other, fear of change, fear of loss of power. There are seismic shifts happening in this country, and the MAGA people are terrified. Their imagined grasp on power in this country is slipping. Feckless plays on those fears like a Boggart. He revs them up with images of an imagined America when the white middle class was upwardly mobile while the foreigners were not. He feeds the fear, stoking them with images that look on the surface to be "normal," when they are not reflections of reality. They are only wishful thinking. 

The really sad part is that he has slavish thralls following him even in the halls of government. The constituency that voted them in continues to drink their poisonous Kool-Aid even when they know it will cost them access to health care and other support programs. They want to live in a world where they can "take care of their own" without understanding what that means in the light of day-to-day caregiving. Guys like Feckless, Graetz, Greene, Cruz, and De Santis feed that fantasy not to help their people, but to consolidate what fading power they have.

Only when disease and death arrive at the doorstep and there is no doctor or hospital to which to turn will those folks understand what it means not to have accessible health care. When one wage-earner has to stay home to care for mom or dad, and the other wage-earner is bringing home almost minimum wage, will they understand there is no safety net for them. At some point, someone will have to explain this was a choice they made with their vote, and they are not victims of a liberal plot....because no one will have those things.

The bottom line is you cannot, should not, must not be writing fiction as news, then putting it on the air as fact. People will actually believe you because fear-mongering is an emerging art form in this country. Peddling fear at any level is just plain wrong. 

Some people will blame social media for the rise in gullibility. Sure, it owns a big piece of it. But the news media owns a bigger piece for putting this bullshit on the table and serving it up as steak. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Day

Speaking of historical personages in The Pomegranate,

here's a little known fact: 

 there was no Archbishop of Canterbury at the time the story takes place, 

Herbert Poore was Archdeacon acting in the capacity of Archbishop 

until a new one was appointed.

Just in case you were wondering. 

Obstructionism: The New Political Parlor Game

 July 4th has always been one of my favorite secular holidays. I liked the hometown parades, the day at the beach, the fireworks, the whole shebang. Ziggy and I got married during a July 4th weekend way back in 1977, and couldn't leave for our honeymoon until we celebrated my grandparents' 61st wedding anniversary on the 4th. Overall, it's always been a good kinda weekend. 

And these days, after I look at my wedding album to play my favorite game of "dead, dead, alive," which is kinda like "duck, duck, goose" [grey duck if you're in Minnesota] with the table pictures and then I read the Declaration of Independence out loud. I also happened to catch the movie version of 1776 which I love because of the music. (That William Daniels and Howard da Silva are both fantastic is a major plus.) 

Anyway, Ziggy used to do the reading of the Declaration in his best basso voice, very dramatic, and, oddly, very uplifting. He always did it seriously because he believed the Declaration of Independence was an important part of the process that was often overlooked because the Preamble to the Constitution is so cool. But he was a Declaration guy, and I went along for the ride. So much so, that now, I read the Declaration aloud to remind myself how we got to be in this place. 

In Congress, July 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America, 

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

 

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

 

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

 

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

 

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

 

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.

 

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.

 

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.

 

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us: 

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

 

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

 

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

 

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

 

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people. 

 

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

 

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

Pretty powerful stuff. The Declaration sets forth the reasons for separation from England, but does not talk about what happens next. That comes later, with the establishment of that grand experiment, a republic. But we're not up to that part yet. 

I want to talk about the Declaration for a moment. Interestingly, the opening salvo in this argument is that King George III is an obstructionist. He does not allow the colonies to make/enact laws that are deemed necessary to the common good:

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

The above statement really emphasizes that the Crown is acting as a government by obstruction. I'm not sure that's any different from what Congress is today. Yurtle the Turtle McConnell has sworn, in public, to obstruct any action by a Democratic president or congress since before President Obama was president. That was 12+ years ago. His version of acting in the best interest of his constituency consists solely of stopping anything that is not GOP created. This is the textbook definition of obstructionism: the practice of willfully, deliberately impeding or delaying the course of legal, legislative, or other procedures. In other words, there is no valid reason for the obstruction, only the will to ruin. I thought we taught kids better than that back in pre-K. Apparently not. Or Yurtle's mommy didn't send him to pre-K because he was special. Not. 

What a small dick he must have. He's not acting in anyone's interest but the interest of his own pockets and he does NOTHING for the people of his state. He does not respect their mandates or their opinions, he simply obstructs. There is no negotiation or discussion. There is no attempt to find any sort of middle ground. How is he any different from King George III? He's not. They even look a bit alike; both present equally unpleasant visages. 

“One hundred percent of my focus is standing up to this administration,” the Kentucky Republican said at a press conference in his state in response to questions about fighting among House Republicans. “What we have in the United States Senate is total unity from Susan Collins to Ted Cruz in opposition to what the new Biden administration is trying to do to this country,” he said, referring to his colleagues from Maine and Texas. What sort of things has Biden proposed that McConnell is dead set on opposing? In a word, everything.                                 Vanity Fair, May 6, 2021

He makes me want to vomit. Yurtle is beyond a disgrace to Congress; he's a traitor to his own people, Republican or Democrat, makes to difference. He's a liar and the worst kind of thief. He steals the hope of a better life. IF he had ever put forward ANY sort of health care plan, I might be more charitable, but no. He has provided no alternative plan, no relief for the un/underinsured, nothing that looks like innovation or job creation. Education? Yeah, if you want to teach that the slaves were happy in the south, but nothing about the reality of slavery or the condition of Indigenous Peoples. Tell me about one law, one proposal, one action this clown has ever contributed to the welfare of these here United States. He is a freakin' Senator; he represents Kentucky, but he also is a member of a chamber of the US Congress, NOT the Mitch McConnell Personal Trust. 

And that congenital moron Matt Gaetz wants to nominate Feckless Loser for Speaker when the GOP takes over the House next fall. Really? Think he can do that from jail? I mean, the guy is already under investigation for human trafficking. Is he thinking Feckless can change the laws for him? 

"After the next election cycle when we take back the House of Representatives, when we send Nancy Pelosi back to the filth of San Francisco, my commitment to you is that my vote for Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives will go to Donald J. Trump," Gaetz said to a crowd gathered for Trump's rally in Sarasota, Florida on Saturday.                                                                                                                                                                                             MSN News July 4th, 2021 

Maybe we got this grand experiment wrong after all. Maybe we would've done better with a constitutional monarchy and parliament rather than this ridiculously frivolous and expensive election cycle. Clearly the office of president is ridiculous at best with the onset of social media. A  constitutional monarchy would at least give us a sense of continuity which, quite frankly, we don't have now. A nice modern monarchy, like Sweden, Norway, or Denmark. Someone whose sole job is exclusive of politics and looks ONLY at the good and welfare of the American people. Screw the two party system.  

Am I kidding about this? I don't know. Maybe. I don't think I'll live long enough to see the wheels come off of American democracy, but I do think it's coming. The increasing electability of pols like Gaetz, Greene, McConnell, coupled with the swing right of SCOTUS makes me fear for the continued forward movement of our nation. We seem to be heading backward in terms of voter suppression, women's reproductive rights, and environmental science. Despite the best efforts of a Democrat led government, the GOP is demonstrably vocal about preventing ANY and ALL actions proposed by this government. Whatever happened to BY THE PEOPLE, FOR THE PEOPLE? Hell's bells, people! Lincoln was a Republican! And for the record, the Dems have their own collection of electable ninnies: Ilhan, Tlaib, Gillibrand...just to name a few. It's not all one party or the other. It takes two parties to screw up a government and our two do a fair to middling job on that one. 

I'll stop now. I need to save my strength for tomorrow (Tuesday) morning when THE POMEGRANATE will begin its arduous journey toward publication. Laissez bon temps rouler!

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

Making a peach cobbler from scratch?

Along with cinnamon, add a dash of cardamom, mace, nutmeg, ginger, and cloves

to the peaches when you mix in the sugar. 

Gives it a heck of a zing!