To Boldly NOT Go.....

One of the perks of having a creative child is that every so often, he or she will use people he or she knows in that art. This was my week. The Senior Son put me on the bridge of the starship Beit Ya'akov, a veritable dream come true. Let me give you some background.

As a kid, he was big on imaginative role playing with his friends...only they weren't doing Dungeons and Dragons, they built a starship in our basement. NCC-1702, the Beit Ya'akov, was named for our shul, a/k/a the known center of the social universe. The role leaked upstairs one year in the form of a role playing game from a box followed by a formal birthday dinner with Romulan Ale (blue food coloring in Pepsi Clear...don't ask,) roasted Rock Klingon Hens with Wild Terran stuffing, and assorted other dishes served on snowy damask table linen, fine china, with sterling flatware and crystal goblets, and me in a cockamamie hat posing as Guinan running Ten-Forward. (Mothers would later tell me they hated me because now their guys wanted formal dinner birthday parties. It was such a totally fun night and I am forever glad that I did it.)

That starship stayed in the basement even after they left for college. During vacations, that was where the gang would congregate. I loved the sound of their laughter wafting up the stairs. One of the last times it was in use was while we were sitting shiva for Ziggy. One of the "crew" had driven the Senior Son home for the funeral, and would stay at his folks until Senior Son was ready to go back to Milwaukee. The other crew mates all showed up for the evening shiva minyanim. And afterwards, when the crowd would thin, they would eat the rest of whatever was on the kitchen counter (including an entire Byerly's giant fruit platter!) before they went downstairs to sit on the ship. When the time came to clean out the basement because I was selling the house, I looked at all those surviving boxes, some of which were labeled with departments, conn designations, and a lot of bad spelling in very childish handwriting. The inevitable demise of NCC-1702 broke my heart. For almost 20 years it had a DO NOT TOUCH kinda sign on it, and we respected that. This was their place. It was where they talked about stuff, where they transitioned from boys to teenagers to men. In so many ways, it was sacred space.

But the Beit Ya'akov would never really go away. These days, it's a modeling exercise for the Senior Son's work in animation. He shoots over slides and I love every one of them. The original guys are seeing them, too, and occasionally appear as crewmen. The original crew has remained close. I marvel at their adult selves and how the sound of their grown-up laughter echoes the sounds of the kids in the basement. They're all pushing 40 now, but they still laugh a lot. On the rare occasions they are all in town together, they have been known to gather in my new kitchen while I go hide upstairs where I can still hear their laughter wafting up the stairs. I take great comfort in that sound. 

This Thanksgiving, as everyone who isn't under a rock already knows, will be different. Families are not gathering, friends are not gathering, and the guys are not gathering. We are all making choices not just for ourselves, but for those around us. These are not easy decisions, and some are painful beyond reason. But more painful would be to know that, in the weeks following the holiday, you were the COVID spreader. No one wants that designation. 

As a parent, I have made decisions that even I did not like. There were times I desperately wanted to say YES, but knew the answer had to be NO. Ziggy and I would talk long into the night about some of those decisions, working hard to see if a YES was remotely possible. The boys will tell you, even today, my favorite expression about big stuff is "Do Your Homework." I am thrilled no end when in conversation it comes out that extensive homework was done in the process of making a major decision. Doesn't matter what it's for....I love that I had a hand in teaching them process. 

Process is what we are faced with as a nation. The pandemic has not slowed, in fact, it has ramped up. Hospitals and frontline workers are gearing up for a massive increase in infection and hospitalization in the weeks following Thanksgiving. If you have been following the science, you know there will be increased spread after this weekend. It's inevitable because people will make choices based on their emotions instead of the reality of contagion. The process has to be voluntary adoption of measures to stop the spread. No one can force someone to wear a mask or social distance, but those of us who do must continue to set the example. 

It's Monday night and I still have no idea what is going to happen on Thursday, and whatever does happen, it'll be fine. I am part of a small family pod because I nanny for the kiddos, so I am not totally alone. Am I joining Junior Son et al for turkey, I don't know; we haven't come to an official decision yet. But I know Shabbat Thanksgiving will be here like it should be. Getting together with this crew is not a grand occasion; it's normal. It would be more normal if Mr. and Mrs. Senior Son could come in more often, but right now, Mrs. Senior Son is, thank G-d, on the recovery side of COVID-19. When things flatten out, they'll be here again...and the kiddos will be jumping all over them as soon as possible. But the spread of COVID-19 must be contained before that's going to happen. 

In the big picture, I know how fortunate I am. No two ways about it. We are all setting the example for how to be safe. We can only hope others catch on before they come to understand it the hard way.

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

Encourage their dreams.

We got an artist and a mechanical engineer outta the deal.

No complaints here.   

Time For A Reality Check

The next wave of COVID-19 is upon us, and America faces a very different holiday season. We Jews have already faced our own pandemic holidays and we kinda know what they are like, what to expect, and how to shoulder through. The rest of the country has only had a taste of that kind of isolation and in limited quantities. Let me assure you, Passover with zoom seders was a challenge. Same thing for Rosh HaShanna and especially break-the-fast for Yom Kippur. Every Jewish holy day is centered pretty much around the concept something happened, we prevailed, let's eat. Any excuse to gather around an overcrowded dinner table is a good excuse. Or, rather, it was a good excuse. Not so much lately.

I would like to say something encouraging to all the gentile readers who are first encountering their less-than-full dinner tables, but there really isn't much to say except staying home and apart won't kill you. 

Gathering, on the other hand, might. 

Covid hot spots 11/16/2020

I am astounded by the pushback about sheltering at home and avoiding groups. A whole lotta imagination isn't required to understand the maps and charts showing the spread of a virus. Nor does it take all that much critical thinking to figure out that while lots of people survive the virus with little more than flu-like systems, other people are felled like spruce trees on a Christmas farm. Sure, they look real good standing up, but once they're down, they struggle to breathe until they die.

But then again, that might interfere with the annual tryptophan coma. 

Look at it this way: seatbelts are the law, so if you're caught without one on, you get a ticket. Refusing to buckle up a plane can get you bounced off. Babies and little kids are strapped into government evaluated car seats to protect them in crashes. Those same kids are taught at an early age to wear helmets on their bikes, and for the most part, they do that automatically. Wearing a helmet on a motorcycle is mandatory but lots of people choose not to wear one..and die if they fall off. Statistics support the research that these things save lives. If you choose to ignore common sense and are injured or die, then that is your choice for you. You can blame your parents or your peers for not insisting, but a sentient human knows that choices are just that: your choices. By extension, you own any consequences.

If you want to complain that wearing a mask is a violation of your Constitutional rights, why aren't you out there protesting seat belts, car seats, and helmets? Hey, those are the exact same things as masks...except for the part where not using them is not an existential threat to other people in the room. 

Choosing not to wear a mask and to socially separate is not the same kind of choice. In choosing not to wear a mask or maintain social distance, you are not choosing for yourself, you are, in fact, choosing for everyone around you. 

We are heading into what used to be annoyingly crowded airports, wondrously crowded malls, and family-crowded dinner tables. That's not going to happen this year...the crowded part. At least it's not going to happen if you have any sort of empathy chip in your brain. If you do, you realize crowds are not only not your friends, they can be the unwitting accomplices to acts of murder. 

I know most of my readers are sentient human beings and take this pandemic seriously. I know this because a lot of you write to me. And I appreciate the seriousness with which you describe your concerns and fears. They are not monsters in the closet or under the bed. They are very real and this wave of infection confirms the pandemic is real. Sure, lots of people get through it and get better. G-d willing, Mrs. Senior Son will be one of them. Our friend Mark wasn't; his family buried him last Wednesday. 

The ones who get better know this no joke and they will do what they must to protect other people from getting sick...and possibly sicker than they were. No one ever wants to believe that he or she is the one who spread the virus to someone who died. 

But if you happen to one of the ones who thinks, this won't happen to my family so we are going to gather en masse around the table for Thanksgiving, well, I hope you've all been sheltering at home away from others, getting a COVID test before Thursday, and have the good sense to social distance the place settings. Y'know why?  BECAUSE THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU.

This is about NOT spreading COVID-19 around like good will, comfort, and joy. This is about NOT giving it to the checkout lady at the grocery store. 

Own your own behavior, accept the responsibility for a tiny little bit of tikkun olam, and be okay with not being the center of the known universe.

If you do that, you get to wear your mask proudly. You are officially part of the solution. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

If all the usual suspects aren't coming for dinner, 
consider roasting a turkey breast instead. 
You can still have all the other stuff ,
and the leftover bone makes great soup.

Happy to Be Wrong; Nervous About Being Right

Yes, I was surprised. I truly did not expect Biden and Harris to prevail. I expected it to be close, possibly contested in some places, but I did not allow myself to believe the blue ticket would be the winner. 

Ruby Bridges walked so Kamala Harris could run

Something happened on Saturday night when Kamala Harris addressed the nation first. You could hear glass ceilings shattering all over the country. The power in Harris's stature, presence, and words was not lost on little girls across the country. As she said, "I may be the first woman to hold this office. But I won’t be the last.”  Little Miss stayed up late to hear her speak. According to my daughter-in-law, she completely understood what she was seeing on that stage. As she got into bed, Little Miss told her mother, "I liked Kamala. She made me feel happy." That is the power of Kamala Harris: Girl Power. 

But the election is not yet over. While we think we know who won, we're not 100% sure yet. Tallies are not all certified, electors have not yet voted. And the GOP is flinging lawsuits around like confetti. Nor am I surprised that Feckless Loser is refusing to concede. I don't have much to say about that, short of how could the Dems have stolen the election if all those Republicans picked up seats in the House and held seats in the Senate?  That would've been a feat of monumental proportions and frankly, I don't think our technology is anywhere near that sophisticated. 

To be sure, every vote must be counted. 

Let me say that again: EVERY VOTE MUST BE COUNTED.

It took over 7 months for Al Franken to be certified as our Senator back in 2009. Ziggy, who tried so hard to hang on to see the decision, died 3 days after oral arguments started on June 1st. 26 days later the Minnesota Supreme Court rejected Norm (the jackass) Coleman's appeal. (Note: Norm and I never saw eye on eye on anything....we had a history.) So, We, the People of Minnesota, have truly been there, done that, and have gotten the t-shirts. And we still believe EVERY VOTE MUST BE COUNTED.

Meanwhile, back at the White House: Feckless Loser can do a huge amount of damage in the waning days of his presidency. He fired his Secretary of Defense via tweet. (Would that he would fire Betsy DeVos. No such luck.) Not that he or his party is focused on the state of the nation. They are too busy sending out letters asking for money to fight the "theft" of this election. 

A friend in Israel, a DFL'er of the old school, has been slammed with dozens of these emails. And they are pretty scary. She sent me a selection and y'know, there is something seriously sick about them. This is what one looked like:

Xxxxxx, President Trump needs your help. The Democrats are trying to STEAL this Election and the Fake News can’t be bothered to report on it. It’s madness. The Left knows the American People want FOUR MORE YEARS of President Trump, and they just can’t handle it. We’re emailing you now with a very urgent request. We need YOU to step up and publicly stand with your President. With your help, we’ll send a RESOUNDING message to the Liberal MOB that REAL Patriots support President Trump 100%. President Trump needs you right now, Xxxxxx. We’re going to send him a list of EVERY supporter who adds their name in the NEXT HOUR. Please add your name IMMEDIATELY to stand with your President and to DEFEND the Election from the Radical Left. >>   STAND WITH PRESIDENT TRUMP PETITION Please confirm your information below:   xxxxx@gmail.com   ADD YOUR NAME NOW >>

Every single Patriot has to step up to protect the integrity of our Election.

We’re sending President Trump a list of ALL the Patriots who step up RIGHT NOW. Make sure your name is at the VERY TOP.

Please add your name IMMEDIATELY to get your name at the TOP of the list President Trump sees.

Thank you,

Team Trump 2020

This is the line that scares me the most:

With your help, we’ll send a RESOUNDING message to the Liberal MOB that REAL Patriots support President Trump 100%.

Yeah, I know it's part of the rhetoric, but dog whistles are real and this is one. There are people out there who will get these emails and read them as a call to arms. You know it and I know it. There is no election fraud. 

Try to understand the sheer number of votes cast in the election. According to the Associated Press:

• 147,757,158 votes cast   
•   76,326,728  votes (50.8%) cast for Biden/Harris 
•   71,350,307  votes (47.5%) cast for Trump/Pence
•     4,976,421. vote margin 

 Now, take a quick look at 2016. In case you forgot, Clinton won the popular vote:

• 128,838,341 votes  cast
•   65,853,516 votes (48.5%) cast for Clinton/Kaine
•   62,984,825 votes (46.4)  cast for Trump/Pence
•     2,868,691  vote margin

Clinton lost in the electoral college, even though she had a 2.1% lead in the popular vote. Once it was established that Feckless Loser would win in the electoral college, Clinton offered a gracious concession. There were no recount demands, not calls to arms, just a concession. Which is how it's supposed to work. 

But that is not what's happening here. And I am not certain we should be surprised. 71,350,307 were cast for Feckless loser, that was 47%, only slightly less than half the country. HALF. You think they are going to just disappear like CoronaVirus was supposed to disappear? 

Far from it. A whole lotta that half has gone underground where they can fester in the cabals and caves. There are militias in them thar hills and they are taking this stuff seriously. They are gonna send a RESOUNDING message to the Liberal MOB that REAL Patriots support President Trump 100%.

Hate festers. It is what is does best and this will have 3 years to fester while it looks for a new face. The next time, the GOP won't allow a crass, classless, reality show host to take the top of the ticket. Oh, no, that will not be repeated. instead, it will be someone slicker, someone better able to soothe while riling up the base. That person will take on Joe and Kamala and possibly wipe the floor with them only because more than half this country will still be racist, misogynistic, and willing to believe a pot of money will fall out of the sky for them if they enter the Presidential Clearing House Sweepstakes. They drink the Kool-Aid because they want to believe the American Dream is for them, too. Those are the ones who will enable the next attempt at deconstructing America. 

I appreciated President-Elect Biden's echoing of last week's episode when he said, 

America has always been shaped by inflection points — by moments in time where we've made hard decisions about who we are and what we want to be.

This is the core of that which must be done. In the healing, there must be listening. We, the People, cannot simply ignore that which is inconvenient. We do need to address the internal workings of this nation to find that middle ground. There will never be total unity and agreement, but there has to be common ground on which we can all stand while we figure out what's best for this nation from the inside out. 

The path before Biden and Harris is fraught with danger...from both sides. I do not envy them the task. That said, they are far more prepared and able to care for the national condition of the United States. I believe them both when they say they will listen to scientists and doctors. They are already putting together a terrific COVID Response team. I believe them when they say they will work with other world leaders to repair the damage inflicted on our reputation. 

I want to be hopeful. I want to be optimistic. 

I'm not there yet. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

Let's play a game: How long until Melania files for divorce?

I am taking bets.

Who Are We versus What Are We

I awoke with a massive headache this morning. This is rather unusual for me. I would like to blame staying up too late, having a Dubonnet cocktail at midnight which did absolutely nothing to help me sleep, and incipient terror. All of the above. 

At the same time, a single question rattles around my brain: Who Are We?

I know some of my conservative GOP type friends will tell me the lies and hate speech came from both sides. That the memes and the social media were all lashon ha'rah, evil tongue. And they tell me that they are as afraid of antifa as I am of the new white supremacist movement lining the highways ready to push Biden buses off the road. 

Did leftist rebels line highways to ambush Trump supporters? Did anyone go around spray painting VOTE BLUE on headstones? Did I miss that on Fox? I might have; I've not had the news on, except for PBS election results, for the last 4 days. 

The corollary to the first question is: What Are We?

At this moment, we do not yet know who will prevail in the presidential election. Frankly, I don't think it matters much. You see, we are not WHO we thought we were and we certainly not WHAT we thought we were. 

A number of people posted about the desecration of graves in the Jewish Cemetery in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I posted it, too, because I have connections to the rabbi in that community. In the thread of my cousins' sharing of the post, a woman wrote: 

You don’t know me, but I support Trump. And I do not harbor hate and racism nor do my friends and family. This horrible act comes from those who do harbor hate and racism, which comes in all colors of skin, religious and political people. Unfortunately, there will always be those who hate...can’t get away from it. But don’t categorize and judge people you don’t know. Just my opinion.

Her statement bothered me a great deal. I replied:

Perhaps you should visit your local GOP office after the election to explain that you don't want to be associated with hate crimes, and to ask why they aren't they [sic]  denouncing these things publicly, loudly, and emphatically....which is hard to do when the leader of the party openly praises his cadre when they shove a bus off the road.

Lots of nice people just close their curtains and look away when their neighbors are victimized and assaulted because, after all, they don't want to get involved. Unless you are standing up and shouting, "THIS IS NOT OKAY," you are enabling stuff like this to happen.

And she replied:

I am not enabling anything. Racism and hate began in the homes of children brought up in that environment...these people were not born racist and hateful. It is not a political motivation unless they have separate agendas and mental problems, which all racists, I believe, do.

I don’t need to knock on the doors of a GOP office and denounce bad behavior or prove what I believe in. My beliefs are well know to my family, friends and neighbors, who are the only ones I answer to. I stand up for the right thing to do, which back our men and women in the military and the men and women in blue, and have my neighbors back, no matter which political party they endorse. 

"I am not enabling anything."

There you have it in a nutshell. She doesn't understand that enabling is exactly what she is doing. Like all those nice Germans, she looks the other way when it counts. And near as I can tell almost 50% of this country agrees with her. And if that is indeed the case, we have some pretty big things to think about between now and January whatever. 

She pretty much sums up who we are with her statement. We have become a nation that does what we are told. 

 I stand up for the right thing to do, which back our men and women in the military and the men and women in blue...

I don't think she is unique or uncommon at any level. She's a good American. She's a proud patriot, although I suspect she has no idea that the Revolutionary War was a revolt against just that authority. She has been indoctrinated to believe the propaganda...from either side. She thinks JFK was a martyr, but she doesn't know for what cause. She thinks MLK did a lot for the Blacks, but has no idea what. In many ways, she is just like the rest of us. And she never thinks to ask. She embodies the national WHO ARE WE? 

Shopkeepers all across the country have boarded up windows in preparation for the riots expected to happen once the election is called for one party or the other. Has this ever happened in our history before? Other than DEWEY WINS, has a candidate, much less a sitting president, ever declared victory before all the votes were tallied?  In a speech in the wee hours of November 4th, our president said the following:

This is a fraud on the American public. This is an embarrassment to our country. We were getting ready to win this election. Frankly, we did win this election. We did win this election. So our goal now is to ensure the integrity for the good of this nation. This is a very big moment. This is a major fraud in our nation. We want the law to be used in a proper manner. So we’ll be going to the US Supreme Court. We want all voting to stop. We don’t want them to find any ballots at four o’clock in the morning and add them to the list. Okay? It’s a very sad moment. To me this is a very sad moment and we will win this. And as far as I’m concerned, we already have won it.

Did anyone ever tell this president how elections are counted in this country, and that no tally is official until it is declared certified, much less processed by the Electoral College? We already know he was absent the day they taught three-branches-of-government-checks-and-balances. 

But screw him. You cannot fix anyone that stupid because he's not running the show. Someone else is. But screw him, too. In the end, this is about our national identity...you know...the one that is in a shambles. If our reputation is in the toilet, we have only ourselves to blame. 

WHAT ARE WE? as a national identity must be stripped naked for re-examination. We, the People, are not simply how the rest of the world sees us: rock'n'roll, bad Bermuda shorts, and lo-fat dressing on the side.  There is some pretty ugly stuff in our nation's history that we coded into laws. We made pain and suffering not merely legal, our government has encouraged it, made it mandatory. We, the People, are beginning to identify and own these shameful episodes.The conversation has been forced on America in a new way...through the death of our own citizenry.  If we want to know WHAT WE ARE, those have to be more than discussions; there must be actions along with them. 

Half the country thinks the current administration is just fine enough to keep in office. 

Let me say that again: half the country thinks the sitting president, his behavior, his policies, and his disdain for facts and science are all okay with them. 

What We, the People, take for action will determine WHAT WE ARE as a nation. Do not think for one New York minute that the eyes of the world aren't laser focused on what we do next. 

If Feckless Leader wins another term after the votes are tallied, recounted (as I'm sure they will be) and ultimately certified, then so be it. We, the People, have elected the government we deserve. 

How we deal with that knowledge will ultimately be up to each of us. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

Stay sane. 

A Pledge of Allegiance To What?

We are a week away from the 2020 Joke-A-Thon, and I find myself wondering about a whole lotta stuff I never really wondered about before. Not that I haven't thought about the separation of church and state...I have...but never before have I considered the ramifications of losing that separation in this country. Now, I wonder if we are on the cusp of exactly that. 

From the Washington Post:  

This is a Patriot Church, part of an evolving network of nondenominational start-up congregations that say they want to take the country back for God. While most White conservative Christian churches might only touch on politics around election time and otherwise choose to keep the focus during worship on God, politics and religion are inseparable here. The Tennessee congregation is one of three Patriot Churches that formed in September. The other two are near Liberty University in Lynchburg, Va., and in Spokane, Wash., and Peters says he is talking with several more pastors of existing churches who want to join them.

Stacy Kranitz for the Washington Post

The 50 or so people in attendance may identify as born-again or just as generic “Bible-loving” Christians. Peters’s flock is not affiliated with a specific denomination, but it does have a distinct identity. The Patriot Churches belong to what religion experts describe as a loosely organized Christian nationalist movement that has flourished under President Trump. In just four years, he has helped reshape the landscape of American Christianity by elevating Christians once considered fringe, including Messianic Jews, preachers of the prosperity gospel and self-styled prophets. At times, this made for some strange bedfellows, but the common thread among them is a sense of being under siege and a belief that America has been and should remain a Christian nation.

From his lectern during the worship service, Peters rails against perceived attacks on First Amendment freedoms, decrying government mandates and calling masks “face diapers.”

Having launched the Patriot Church outside Knoxville, Tenn., on the weekend of Sept. 11, he declares that the Christian faith in America is “under attack.” 

"One nation, under God," was controversial enough in 1954. It was certainly not a foregone conclusion that this was designed to be a "Christian" nation in the first place. A good example of the devolution of the separation of church and state is pretty well documented in the Pledge of Allegiance:

Eisenhower made the change to under God official on Flag Day, June 14, 1954, signing it into law and saying:

From this day forward, the millions of our school children will daily proclaim in every city and town, every village and rural school house, the dedication of our nation and our people to the Almighty.... In this way we are reaffirming the transcendence of religious faith in America's heritage and future; in this way we shall constantly strengthen those spiritual weapons which forever will be our country's most powerful resource, in peace or in war.

And there you have it, boys and girls, when the separation of church and state, as provided for by the Founding Folks, was rendered null and void.  

I suspect the Founding Folks had an idea this kind of thing was possible, and did what they could, if not to stop it, to slow any progress toward that point. Look, it's not like there weren't people who wanted this to be a "Christian" nation in the first place. That's not news. But these days, those who are looking for a confirmation of some kind of "spiritual rebirth" of this nation see spiritual as decidedly their brand of Christian. Frankly, I don't see that as much different from any other philosophy pointing to itself as the only true philosophy. Doesn't much matter which ism you're talking about. The moment the true believers start believing everyone else should be converted/eliminated/oppressed/cremated the differences don't make a hill o'beans difference. 

But back to the Pledge of Allegiance. I used to stand so proudly to recite those words, even with the under God addition. I mean, I didn't know they had just added that, and I didn't care. My country won World War II. They beat the Nazis. My dad beat the Nazis. I was a proud American Jew. There was nothing Jew-ish about me. I was 100% American Jew and proud of it. Those extra words which, I would come to learn much later, bothered my parents, didn't bother me. Yet. 

High school was another story. High school was Vietnam and civil wrongs. High school was a government I so disagreed with that I didn't think of myself as a proud American Jew any more. I was just a Jew. I would stand when the loudspeaker in homeroom said to, but my hand would not go over my heart nor would my lips move. Not even a trip to the principal's office changed that. Mr. Tennent was scary on a good day, but he was no match for angry me. I told him I would continue to stand and remain silent, as was my constitutionally guaranteed right. I would stand for what America could be, but I would be silent because of what America was at that moment.

That stance would continue through most of college and grad school. Eventually I came to grips with my citizenship, but age, experience, and the ability to read had tarnished my image of America. Yeah, sure, the blinders were off. I learned about class, oppression, mobs, lynching, and Wounded Knee. I didn't think there was too much difference between a Democrat administration and a Republican one...until Dubya prevailed over Gore in the Supreme Court, and 9/11 happened. But at no time did I believe that a POTUS could be anything less than basically honorable, even if politically misguided and possibly the stupidest person on the planet. 

I hated Dubya and his wars. I thought he was wrong from the get-go...but he was still the leader of the free world and respected as such. I reveled in the election of Barack Obama and entertained the idea that maybe, just maybe... even if we weren't really turning a corner... there was a corner in sight. I wanted to believe we were on the way to becoming a kinder, more compassionate nation. 

Then came 2016. And that's all I'm gonna say about that. 

I have no illusions that our national nightmare is drawing to a close. No matter who wins this election, there will be discontent and I expect it will spill into the streets. The confirmation of Coney Barrett is not an accident; it's a set-up.  I do not believe there will be a transfer of power, peaceful or otherwise. 

And desperately I want to be wrong. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

VOTE. 

That's all. 

About next Monday night. ...I will not be publishing. There is no point. I will probably write late Tuesday or early Wednesday. Just wanted you to know. 

Yes, We have No Delusions; We Have No Delusions Today.

I was thinking about my dad today. Come to think of it, I've been thinking about him more than usual lately. Yeah, I miss him. I miss the snarky rejoinders, off-color jokes, and excruciatingly bad puns. There has been a dearth of lively riposte in my life of late. I can't lay all that blame on Dad; Ziggy owns a fair chunk with his poorly planned departure. But that's all in the past, and I'm here without their constant commentary.

What I was thinking about was how much I am not enjoying this election. I'm at a point where I don't wanna watch the news. I've stopped listening to the usual array of pundits. I can't even sit through REAL TIME with BILL MAHER these days. It's all so annoying. I've taken to reading books about stuff that has no relation to anything. 

c.1924

I'm reading The Romanov Empress (by C.W. Gortner) about Princess Dagmar of Denmark who became Tsarina Maria Feodorovna when she married Sasha, aka Alexander III. It's a novel, in the first person, but a very interesting take on a woman who stood at the center of the collapse of monarchical Europe. Her sister was married to Edward VII of the UK, her brother was king of Denmark. Her father was referred to as "The Father-in-Law of Europe." Anyway, she was also the mother of Nicholas II, the last Tsar. In other words, she lived through the worst any mother could experience, from losing babies to burying adult children, to hearing about the murder of her other children. She was her own Greek tragedy. But she was also an interesting tough old bird. 

I am fascinated by women in government, whether they are born into it, married into it, or elected into it. Women who are powerful have to work ten times harder than a man to get from point A to point B, never mind point Z. Histories written by men tend to dismiss or denigrate powerful women, and this tsarina is no different. You have to wade through a whole lotta opinionated men to get to the center of Maria Feodorovna's steel spine. For good or for bad, she went to bat for the people of Russia, pushing her father-in-law's original idea of a constitution and a participatory Duma. Didn't do her much good; she was an outlier and no one was interested in her opinions on state. Nursing and war relief? Sure. 

Women have been having the same discussions with their husbands about power since someone thought up the idea of a headman. Mrs. Headman probably didn't sit around combing mammoth hair into thread. In fact, I would venture to guess Mrs. Headman was a very active participant in the running of the village because unless the women were of a mind to cooperate, not much got done. I am certain that Henry II was at odds with Eleanor of Aquitaine because she told him in no uncertain terms to naff off. And I am equally certain that all those history king movies where the women sit placidly on the dais are totally bullshit. 

Which is why I don't understand why having a vagina precludes you from being elected to the highest office in this land. 

There is something so fundamentally wrong with American society when a woman who is supposed to be brilliant is part of a group that calls its women handmaids, and instructs them to be subservient to their husbands. People will point to Victorian England as a time when women were subservient and subdued...but hey, folks, Victoria had a rather productive uterus and she was Empress. Excuse me...men were falling over themselves taking direction from her. Queen Elizabeth doesn't seem to be suffering fools with any regularity, either. 

Ergo, the docile subservient woman is a myth promulgated by men who can't deal with women in general. (Which really makes me wonder about Melania.) Men who want that myth are not men; they are cowards. They are abusers. They are weak and fragile. They can't control stuff, so they blame strong women. Did you catch our Feckless Leader begging suburban white women to like him at a rally in Johnstown, Pennsylvania?

Suburban women, will you please like me? Please. Please.

 Listening to Kamala Harris at the VP debate was an enlightening experience for me. 

Her modulated toddler-teacher tone when saying, "Mr. Vice President, I'm speaking. Okay?" was so wonderfully maternal in the delivery of that line, that I figured the look on his face must be the one he gives Mother when she corrects him. He has no balls and Harris knew it. That line was so take no prisoners in the gentlest, most unassuming way of all.

When Kamala Harris has to use her patient toddler voice to silence Mike Pence, is it because she really thinks he's a child...or because she knows he is  afraid of the power of the vagina? Long have I believed that men like Pence and his moronic master are abusers of women not because women are weak, but because women can do one thing they cannot: 

give birth.

If these so-called Christian soldiers are supposed to be superior beings, partnering with their God as masculine heads of household all because they have a penis, why do they have to control women? Seriously, if they're so good at being masterminds, why is it necessary to belittle and humiliate women? Well, maybe it's not actually about the dingle. Maybe it's because once the dingle has done its thing, they're done. Women grow the babies. Women feed the babies. And ultimately women teach the babies. The man's role is ZERO in the extended game plan.

Stop to think about it for a moment. Wouldn't that be the perfect reason to oppose reproductive rights? That gives the vagina owner the ability to control life and non-life. In the end, that's just too scary for the weakling sex...and I don't mean women.

Feckless Leader grabs 'em by the pussy. Little Boy Pence calls his wife "Mother." Amy Coney Barrett's husband calls her his "handmaid." 

I cannot speak for other women out there, but I find it all rather creepy. 

And the really creepy part? Almost half this country thinks all of that is okay. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

14 days left until the election.

If you haven't cast your ballot already,

please do so as soon as you can.

Remember, only you can prevent 

forest fires. 

And sorry....I cannot help myself

Who Will Speak For The Voiceless?

I listened to Amy Coney Barrett's opening statement, and I came away with the sense I was listening to a 15-year old giving a report about the Supreme Court. This is the part where the theater director in me takes over, and I start thinking about casting issues. In a bunch of ways, she reminded me of Doogie Howser or Young Sheldon: both kids working above their age grade. Only this Doogie Howser wants to take away public health insurance without a replacement plan in sight. For a woman who insists she is pro-life, she writes decisions that are strictly pro-death. Her flat, expressionless voice shoots ice into the veins of those around her. There is something so scary about her that I don't even want to write about it. And I'm not talking about the Handmaid color of her dress or the mask. 

When I was a kid, there was a kid in my class from grade school through high school named Robert Lehman. He was above and beyond smarter than anyone else in school. He was our class valedictorian, he went on to Yale. He was a really nice guy. And when he spoke of important matters, he had a cadence to his voice that years later, I can still hear. It was a measured sound, a thoughtful sound, and, even when his dander was up, a gentle sound. Bobby talking about serious stuff meant you stopped and listened because otherwise you would be missing something important. You didn't have to agree with him, but you probably wanted to listen to his argument. You would learn something. 

There is something to be said for kiddie gravitas, but even more to be said for being the grown-up in the room with gravitas. One has to recognize one's own place, but even more crucial is to recognize one's limitations. The quote Bobby chose for his senior page is, perhaps, more important today than when he selected the poem by Alexander Pope (1688-1744):

A little learning is a dangerous thing ;

Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring :

There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,

And drinking largely sobers us again.

Fired at first sight with what the Muse imparts,

In fearless youth we tempt the heights of Arts ;

While from the bounded level of our mind

Short views we take, nor see the lengths behind,

But, more advanced, behold with strange surprise

New distant scenes of endless science rise !

So pleased at first the towering Alps we try,

Mount o’er the vales, and seem to tread the sky ;

The eternal snows appear already past,

And the first clouds and mountains seem the last ;

But those attained, we tremble to survey

The growing labours of the lengthened way ;

The increasing prospect tires our wandering eyes,

Hills peep o’er hills, and Alps on Alps arise !

That sound that I remember so well is the sound I wanna hear coming out of the mouths of people who wanna sit on the Big Bench. Whatever her qualifications, and I know this is gonna sound ageist, I want a mature, older human sitting in that chamber, one with extensive life experience, one who has seen and heard just about everything, and who understands that no two people, cases, decisions, or kids are alike; each requires deliberation and consideration. "I heard this kid...." is not life experience. It is not maturity born of presence. I don't care how brilliant, erudite, or level-headed she's supposed to be, she lacks the ability, based on her statements to the press and others, to really be an Everywoman to We, the People. 

I find that in terms of SCOTUS, I am possibly more conservative than most people might think. I believe that the Constitution is a valid framework, but I don't believe it should be permitted to be a stagnant document. We, the People, of 2020 are not the same We, the People of 1820 or even 1920. This country changes all the time, and the law must address those changes. Just as Clarence "The Clown" Thomas's marriage would be invalid in most states before 1967, civil rights must also address gender identity norms that have become fluid. Notorious RBG was a champion for civil rights for all citizens in this nation. The person that succeeds (not replaces) her must be a champion for those who have been denied voices for so long. The originalism that Coney Barrett flouts is unrealistic and sets the stage for discriminatory behavior. I do not believe she will serve ALL the people. And I have a problem with that. 

In keeping with the waning hours of October 12th,  I want to take a moment to recognize the State of Minnesota for its ongoing work to honor the IP roots of this place. Bde Maka Ska is what everyone calls that lake now. The confluence of the two rivers is now correctly Bdote Minisota. 

It's more than a lake; this is Ziggy's high school as well as both the Senior and Junior Sons: Henry Sibley High School. First, they went after the school logo...long overdue. The "Indian" Warrior was replaced with a stylized generic warrior. But that matter of Henry himself remained. Ziggy woulda signed off on that change in a heartbeat. My late MIL, a historian and high school teacher, felt the school should never have been named for him in the first place. When it came to the local population of the area he was to govern, he was positively evil and ruthless. 

You can read about him here: Henry Sibley, 'pretty bad guy,' may lose his namesake high school 

The Indigenous Peoples of North America are still battling for their own civil rights. Ever hear anyone talk about reparations for them?  Ever hear of the Indian Civil Rights Act  of 1968?

With the law of the Indian Civil Rights Act (ICRA) at the time, also called the Indian Bill of Rights, the indigenous people were guaranteed many civil rights they had been fighting for.^[10] The ICRA supports the following:^[11]

• Right to free speech, press, and assembly
• Protection from unreasonable invasion of homes
• Right of criminal defendant to a speedy trial, to be advised of the charges, and to confront any adverse witnesses
• Right to hire an attorney in a criminal case
• Protection against self incrimination
• Protection against cruel and unusual punishment, excessive bail, incarceration of more than one year and/or a fine in excess of $5,000 for any one offense
• Protection from double jeopardy or ex post facto laws
• Right to a jury trial for offenses punishable by imprisonment
• Equal law protection due process

Land sovereignty, hunting, fishing, and voting rights, along with access to education and health care remain unresolved, ongoing issues, especially for those who continue to live on the reservations in Minnesota and elsewhere. And don't go saying casinos fixed all that...they did not. IP gambling has helped even the playing fields in some places, but not all. The quest for BASIC civil rights remains a struggle. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

In this state, we do not observe Columbus day, 

we observe Indigenous Peoples Day,

a small, but significant, step.