Acts of Loving Kindness

Good friends were at Reno this past weekend. Lynn and Chuck, along with the rest of their party, are safe although the crash was very close to where they were seated. Because their company was a corporate sponsor of the air races, they found themselves with hotel rooms and catering contracts that would have been cancelled. Instead, everything has been turned over to the organizers of the event to be used for the families of the victims. It was the right thing to do. It was also gemilut chasadim...an act of loving kindness. These are nice people. Nothing less would have been acceptable to them.

Sunday here brought its own challenges. We were at the cemetery for my friend Amy Ringold’s unveiling. She was a remarkable woman with challenges that would’ve been insurmountable for others.  When she knew she was dying, rather than remaining out east where she had grown up and had been living the last year, she made the decision to come back to Saint Paul where she was a vibrant part of this community. She’s buried not far from Steve, so I always make it a point to visit Amy when I go to the cemetery. Well, on this day we were there for Amy. It was a good gathering, a chance to re-tell Amy stories…which are always full of strength and our admiration for her.

But it's also Elul, so when the prayers for Amy were done, the rabbi and I walked the few steps over to Steve. He chanted El Moleh Rachamim. Some of the people at the unveiling had also been there for Steve. They stood nearby. I got to say how much I missed the ol’ grey beard, and we all got to laugh because there’s creeping Charlie on just Steve’s plot and unbelievably there was no hand reaching up from the ground to yank it out.

Thank G-d we didn’t yet know the Vi-queens were about to blow a 17-0 lead in the second half to lose to Tampa Bay 24-20. For sure, he would’ve risen up hollering, “Fucking Vikings, yer breaking my heart!”

It was drizzling just like it had on the day of the funeral. Our friends stood with me in that spitting rain anyway, gemliut chasadim and rememberance. It’s little things like that that keep me going; when I think I'm all alone out there, a little noodge reminds me that I am not.

Which brings me to the big point in this week’s self-indulgence: gemilut chasadim ~ acts of loving kindness. When we take stock of this past year, the really difficult question isn't "what sins did I commit?", but rather, "where could I have been more compassionate in my response?"

This question seems to have gone missing from the public forum these days. Anyone who wasn’t abjectly horrified by Ron Paul’s cavalier attitude towards those without health insurance has some serious assessing to do. How “okay” are they with paying for the medical bills of someone in need, and how far does that commitment go? Listening to the Republican candidates is a very interesting window into what they each think constitutes the American personality. And the thing I keep running up against is the lack of social responsibility in the general responses.

But there’s little anyone can do about that…as a single person. Perhaps collectively we would have more luck, and that’s what elections are for. But in the meanwhile, I think it should be a rule that everyone has to sit down ALONE and answer the following questions:

1. Can I afford to cover my parents/kids/aunts/uncles/grandparents/closest friends’ medical bills in an emergency where insurance is not available or adequate to cover their needs?
2. If the roads/bridges/tunnels are no longer safe enough to bear the usual traffic levels, is there alternate transportation to get me to my job?
3. Can I afford to live out the remainder of my days on the money I’ve put aside without the assistance of Social Security?

If you can't yes to all three questions, you're probably part of the 95% of the non-wealth controlling majority of Americans. And you have some serious thinking to do. I would recommend the first question you ask yourself is "was I as compassionate in my response to things as I should have been?"

And if you are not sure about that new first question, not to worry; you can fix that starting right now.

The Wifely Person's Tip O'the Week

Always keep a filled water bottle and a couple of stones in the car; 

they're handy in case you have to run out to the cemetery. 

Bonus Tip for the Poetically Impaired
Reading between the lines isn't de riguer;
sometimes it just is what it is.