The Art of Persisting...And Then Some

Sunday was International Women's Day. As far as I am concerned, EVERY day is women's day. Every day is a struggle against sexism for every woman on this planet whether she notices it or not. Chances are, though, she notices... whether she is striding down 5th Avenue in a pair of impossibly high heels on her way to her CEO job, trekking across the Gobi with a yurt on her camel, changing hotel bed linens in Delhi, or standing naked in a slave market in Afghanistan. Yup, it's a pretty safe bet that any woman who breathes can tell you about sexism. 

Pervasive, pernicious, problematic...pathetic...take your pick. There isn't a pretty word out there for how sexism plays out in our world...no matter where you are walking. The perception of sexism and what it does to women directly may vary from place to place, but the objectification of women has the same impact no matter how it is practiced: it asserts that gender determines the treatment of a person. This far along in human history, we should be past that. Well past that. 

I get it that in ancient Egypt, queens were not perceived the same way as kings even if there were a couple of queens in there that surpassed all expectations in leadership. I totally understand Queen Eleanor (of whom I am terribly fond) ruled rather successfully in the name of the king while her idiot son, King Richard was running amok on a crusade. And I certainly understand Queen Elizabeth I, Golda Meir, and Maggie Thatcher were all rather good at their jobs, whether or not I agreed with them or not. So, women wielding power is not exactly unknown, much less news.  But it is.

Interestingly, I just got home from shul. Tonight is erev Purim, the holiday that celebrates Queen Esther's triumph over the evil Haman. It's a raucous, joyous night, with costumes, dancing, and mishloach manot. it's like the anti-Halloween...we don't go around asking for treats, we go around giving treats anonymously.

Now, the Book of Esther itself is a bit of a conundrum, being that G-d is never mentioned... which is pretty radical for a book in the Bible. The bottom line, however, is that this is a story about women and power. Queen Vashti refuses to break the law even though her husband, King Achashverosh, ordered her to appear before his courtiers so they could admire her beauty. Lots of theories on that, mostly having to do with her appearing "unveiled," and Lord knows how much was to be unveiled is not specified, but she ended up getting disappeared. Her replacement, chosen through a bizarre series of beauty contests, was Esther, a nice Jewish girl, who finds herself not just in the king's bed, but adored enough to become his queen consort. If you don't know what happened after that, read the book. It's short. 

To be sure, she became queen and used the power of that position to get what she wanted. Could she have done it without being Achashverosh’s bed mate? Probably not. The request is made, however, not between the sheets but in a semi-public forum which means that she had to be pretty confident she knew what she was doing before she made her requests. This takes a certain amount of smarts, understanding, and ability to frame the question that needed to be asked. Mordechai may have coached her, but she was the one taking all the chances. 

She persisted.

Acquisition of power is as important as power itself. If power is handed to you, meh. If you inherit it, double meh. But if you see the possibility, turn the possibility into opportunity, and take on the mantle of power itself, then it's the real thing. 

Great. In a perfect world that happens all time, right? No, it does not. Look at Malala Yousafzai. She was a girl who wanted to be educated, so a bunch of guys shot her in the head, only she didn't die. She healed up with a vengeance. For a 22-year-old, she is incredibly powerful because she at time when life was darkest, she saw there was possibility and made it an opportunity.  Even so, she is still fighting those who would see her silenced. 

She persisted and emerged stronger than anyone could imagine. 

Greta Thunberg was a kid with disabilities who found her voice...and boy, is it loud and clear. That she is a girl has made her the butt end of a lot of jokes that would never have been made if she had a penis. That has not stopped Greta from leading a global charge on behalf of the environment. No one handed her that ability. She saw the possibility and took the opportunity head on.

She is persisting as I write, and we are just so lucky that she is.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg persisted... and still does. 

Katherine Goble Johnson persisted...and they named a NASA building to make sure everyone else knew just how much she persisted.

Marie Curie thwarted at every grade level and right into the lab...persisted.

Amantine Lucile Dupin... changed her name to George Sand and persisted 

Ada Byron Lovelace persisted. A lot. 

I doubt any of these women would allow men to determine what was best for them or their bodies. I am equally certain every one of these women believed women were capable, sentient, intelligent begins who could accomplish goals on the same, even playing field as men. And none of these women would entertain the notion that the lack of a penis was an impediment to their success...but might agree not having one made life a bit more challenging.... not in a good way.

I will tell you without hesitation that the belief I could change the world came straight out of the Book of Esther. And it wasn't just Esther who got to me. It was Vashti, the queen that lost. Yeah, when I was little, she usually was portrayed as a bad egg, but I knew, the minute I could read the words for myself, she was brave, braver than Esther. She took the risk and lost, but in that losing, she paved the way for others, including Esther, to be brave enough to stand up. I wanted to be just like them.

Traditionally, we dress up in costumes for Purim, and mock everything in sight. We have fake newspapers, Purimspiels, but the older I get, the more I think that's the exact opposite of what Purim really is. Dressing up, even in the silliest of costumes, is a glimpse into the soul of the wearer. Maybe what we should be doing is dressing up for who we want to be and drawing strength from that admission. 

 The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

Y'know how there's Mardi Gras and then Lent the next day?

Well, we Jews have Purim followed by the 30-day run up to Passover.

Folks: gird up your loins....it's time to start cleaning.