I'm Not Full Of .......

 ...not much of anything at the moment. That's because I had a colonoscopy this morning. This was my third, my second in 3 years. That's because colorectal cancer has made an appearance in our family. This one was fine, only 2 polyps, and they've gone off to pathology. Pre-cancerous polyps are just that....pre-cancerous and that's what we're expecting for these two. The reason you go for colonoscopies is to get rid of any polyps before they have a chance to become cancerous:

These types of polyps are not cancer, but they are pre-cancerous (meaning that they can turn into cancers). Someone who has had one of these types of polyps has an increased risk of later developing cancer of the colon. Most patients with these polyps, however, never develop colon cancer                                                                                                              American Cancer Society

I have several friends who have or are now battling colon and/or rectal cancer. It is not an easy process. It can kill you. It is possible to prevent, slow, and in some lucky cases, have the cancer go into total remission. But nothing is guaranteed. 

Because colorectal cancer appears in my family tree, I went as soon as I was eligible for a colonoscopy. The first one was fine, and I went back in 5 years. The second found polyps, as did this one, hence the 3-year spacing. And I will go back in 3 years again. 

The prep can be revolting. Can be? It is, actually. I don't do sweet things for a lot of reasons, so I am not a fan of large quantities of sweet things. A quarter cup of ice cream is usually my limit. But the stuff you get to drink is so sweet, I thought I was going into a diabetic coma as I slugged the stuff down. Come on, medical people...can't you come up with something flavorless for those of us who don't drink soda...specifically diet soda? 

Which makes me think I understand why American is basically fat. If you have to sweeten this stuff so people can drink it, there are serious food issues here. All that artificial sweetener is just another sugar jones. OMG, the thought of anything sweet after 2-16 ounce containers of that shit makes me want to retch. Seriously. 

The procedure itself was, in its own perverse way, quite lovely...mostly because of the anesthesia involved. All kidding aside, the MnGI people at Eagan are friendly, nice, and laugh at all my pathetic punchlines. They were well prepared for my IV-phobia and the anesthesiologist was a total sweetie when he admitted he didn't like 'em either, was a barfer like me, and said, "We'll start the IV in the procedure room and put you right out, no waiting." He assured me this kind of anesthesia would not make me nauseous...and it did not. I love that man. 

And my GI guy was a total sweetie. He remembered me from last time and said he was glad I was still funny. I asked him if my gown made my ass look fat. God bless him, he said, "No way. Your ass is not fat!" and laughed. I figure if I can get 'em to laugh at the jokes, they're gonna wanna be nice to me. And they are, so I think that's working.

But all joking aside, if you are of a certain age, get a colonoscopy on schedule. It's not a giant deal, but it can save your life.  

And now, I am going back to sleep. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

When conning someone into driving you for this procedure, 

make sure they are capable of laughing at fart jokes. It helps.

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SAD NEWS UPDATE

It has just been announced that we lost one of the great Minnesotans today,

Walter "Fritz" Mondale

How much more can Minnesota take in a week?

Baruch Dayan ha'Emet.  May his memory be for a blessing.