Not Everyone Was Laughing Last Week

Not feeling quite100% this week, but  considering how lousy I was feeling last week, this is a  vast improvement.  Now, if only I could breathe...

Our Founder, Ziggy

I never expected last  week's column to unleash a small firestorm about humor. I am not the comedy guy in this family. My dad was exceptionally funny, my brother thinks he's funny, Ziggy wrote  Ziggy's Joke o'the Day for pity's sake, and the Senior Son briefly (thank G-d) entertained the idea of being a stand-up comic when he was a kid. (Just ask him to do his James Mason as the 4th Stooge routine. Kills 'em every time.) Being the straight man in this family has its advantages. 

These days, comments on the page are much rarer than I would like, but the emails have always been kinda constant. Usually, they are short, often sweet, and to the point. This week, a little less so. One reader advised that alcoholism is a disease and I should not take it lightly. Another wrote that even a joke about Superman being a murderer was untoward, cruel, and downright mean. A third found it disturbing enough to  question my own sense of humor. And  a friend sent me a joke.  

I will address these in order.

First, both my in-laws (yes, that includes FIL) were alcoholics. My husband was many things, but first and foremost, he was the adult child of alcoholics. He never shied away from talking about that or hid it or diminished its importance. That addiction had an enormous, HUGE, and indelible impact  on his life, and by extension, mine and the boys. FIL ultimately dried out and became a highly functional member of this family, but it took a long time. The specter of alcoholism never fully disappeared. I take alcoholism very seriously, but the Superman joke is not about alcoholism. It's about a guy getting drunk. Ziggy would tell you there is a huge difference between the two. 

Casting Superman in a less-than-heroic role is fair game. Superman is a comic book character. He is not real, cannot  be considered real, and cannot stand up in a court of law to say squat. You didn't like  the joke? No problem at all. You're entitled to your own sense of humor and that's great. Just make sure you're laughing aloud at stuff you find funny in case others want to share your laughter. That's a good thing to do. 

As for the one who questioned my sense of humor? Harrummmppphhhh. And the horse you rode in on. As I tell the Senior Son all the time: NSOH

But what I really want to talk about is the joke that was sent to me:

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome, Italy.  One has a Cross in front of him; the other one is holding the Star of David.

 

Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the Cross.

 

The Pope comes by. He stops to watch the throngs of people giving money to the beggar who holds the Cross while none give to the beggar holding the Star of David.

 

Finally, the Pope approaches the beggar with the Star of David and says, "My poor fellow, don't you understand?  This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who is holding a Cross.  In fact, they would probably give more money to him just out of spite."

 

The beggar with the Star of David listened to the Pope, smiled, and turned to the beggar with the Cross and said, "Moishe, would you look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing!"

This is a mild, clean, seemingly harmless little joke. When I got to the last line, I frowned. There  it was: the trope.

The sender, not Jewish, is the most gentle , kind, good-natured guy who would never do something to intentionally offend anyone. Seriously. The man worries about this stuff. And having just sat through a whole bunch of discussions about Jewish jokes, punchlines, and cultural appropriation, I had to sit and think about this for a while. How should I handle this? Should I say something and risk hurting his feelings? Keep silent and not acknowledge the joke at all? Or write back "cute," and let it go at that? 

This was really hard and I had to pull it apart from nine directions. 

Had  a Jew sent this joke, would I be offended? No. If someone Jewish had sent it, I would've chuckled, but that's about it, and maybe sent something snarky back about being thankful they weren't in Palermo. But that would've been just as stereotypical. 

Would Ziggy have used this joke in Joke o'the Day?  Not very likely. The last line would probably have crossed a line for him, and I think he would've passed on it for the very reason I was uncomfortable with it. 

I ultimately decided to say something:

I suppose that might be considered funny in some circles, perhaps if told by one Jew to another Jew. But honestly, I don't find it funny at all. I hear an old trope that is about as offensive as the N word is to Black people. 

The joke implies that the two men are dishonest, and they are swindling money out of non-Jews by posing as something they are not. Oh, you know, Jews just go for the money any way they can get it.  This joke laughs at us, not with us,  and really says something unpleasant.

I understand your aim was the laugh, not this response. 

He responded with a most genuine and sincere apology which included the line "I apologize for my insensitivity."

Now, I felt really badly and felt that I needed  to clarify my response. Of course, I coulda  just shut up, but I didn't. I wrote:

Until one has been part of a minority continually used as a  trope for mean-spirited or patently false characteristics or conditions, one is conditioned to laugh at the trope. 

When one identifies  the trope as racist/hurtful/false, the identifier is usually accused of lacking a sense of humor....at oneself or people. "Oh, I didn't mean anything by it; you need to lighten up."

Too often we, the intended butt of the joke, smile, chortle, or otherwise dismiss the joke without saying anything. But when an armed gunman comes into your place of worship and demands to know where you (the rabbi) keep all the money, then we had to admit we brought some of this on ourselves with our silence. 

I'm glad to know your sensitivity has been raised, but it is not all Jewish jokes; it's about Polish jokes, Italian jokes, and Japanese jokes. This isn't being woke or cancelling culture; it's about assigning labels that ultimately do perception damage. 

Personally, I used to tell "ethnic" jokes until someone said,  "How would YOU feel if..." That has become my yardstick. 

Let's  just say his response was polite silence, not  that I expected any sort of answer. But I did want him to understand it's not just about Jewish jokes. 

Which brings me to the next link in this thought chain: how did we get here?

Linda LeClair: Photo: Bettman/Getty Images

This is something everyone in these here United States is struggling with whether one wants to  admit it or not. As a child coming of age in the 60s, I remember the paradigm shift with great alacrity. I may be one of the few people who still grins at the name Linda LeClair. She was my hero. I barely knew what sex was, but I knew I wanted to be able to have it when I wanted it and Linda LeClair took on the world for our bodily freedom. Life as  we knew it was changing so fast and so dramatically. Demonstrations, rallies, school strikes...as we slid from the 60s into the 70s, everything changed. 

I remember boys in school making  lewd comments about Linda LeClair. I remember sex jokes once relegated to the boys' gym locker room were suddenly everywhere. This was a harbinger of changing times. That which was escaping some  private place  and slamming  into the public forum was not necessarily a move toward freedom of speech. In fact, it was moving into a language of marginally recognized hate speech.

Ethnic jokes were becoming increasingly ubiquitous. Polish jokes, Jewish Princess/JAP jokes, Italian jokes, Irish jokes, Swedish jokes....substitute any minority and you have a joke. We all laughed. No one thought anything of it. Or did we?

I remember the first time someone called me a JAP. I was on a stage, a hammer in my hand, straddling a ladder, fixing a set piece. Some jackass yelled up to me, "Hey! JAP! You sure you know which end of the hammer to use?" Several guys tittered. I was livid. I waved to the guy, leaned over the ladder, and said, "Come 'ere. Let me check that against your skull." 

Later, I was reprimanded by the head of the theater. "He didn't mean anything, you're being too sensitive. We're not used to Jewish girls hanging off ladders." If he had just said  girls, I probably would've been merely annoyed. But he said Jewish girls and I resented that like hell. Had he said, "New York Jewish girls..." I probably woulda slugged him.

Did that make me politically correct or woke? Nope. I still told my share of ethnic jokes. What I perceived as a slur against me as a Jewish girl did not immediately translate into any advanced state of thinking. But eventually the inequity of the speech caught in my head and I slowly began the move toward not practicing specious speech. 

It started small...discussions between Ziggy and me about what made stuff funny, laughing AT you or WITH you, what is an anti-Semitic joke and what is harmless? Is anything harmless? These were not lighthearted romps; they were deep, soul-dredging conversations in which we did not always agree. Ziggy was particularly aware of anti-Semitic tropes and I remember him going head-to-head with a well-known comic about it. Sometime in the early 90s, I stopped finding Saturday Night Live to be funny. I would occasionally watch the opening monologue with Ziggy, but then we'd turn it off. Were we getting old and crotchety? When did some of the stand-up comics stop being funny? We found we preferred to Dennis O'Leary and Dennis Miller. Dave Barry was funny. So were Billy Crystal and Bill Maher. 

The common thread? Situational humor. 

I suspect we were getting tired of potshots. In our endless dissection of humor, we kept coming back again and again to AT you or WITH you. The older I get, even without  Ziggy at the kitchen table (which, after 13 years, I still hate) I find I am significantly less tolerant of ethnic slurs. That stuff is so embedded in our national conversations that we should be embarrassed by it. And, it needs to stop now.

Do yourself a favor: go back and watch an old western, something like Fort Apache or The Searchers. It's a bellwether. Your response to the films might surprise you. 

This isn't really about being woke or politically correct; it's about perceiving people around us. The operative word in that sentence being PEOPLE. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

If you don't like being labeled with an ethnic slur,

don't do it to others. 

It's  just that simple.

Always Leave 'Em Laughing

 What I really want to do is post the Gone Fishin' sign and be done with it.  

I've been feeling kinda punk, even took a  COVID test this morning...it was negative... and although I hosted an old friend for lunch, I cannot seem to shake the lethargy seeping into my bones. Unfortunately, I am also-aware enough to know what's going on. 

Passover is not my favorite holiday. At least it hasn't been for the  last 13 years. On the first day of Pesach 2009 we got the diagnosis. The night before, we'd sat at my cousins' seder and although they knew what was happening, we all chose to say nothing until it was official and we told the kids the next night. That was on April 8th. We counted the omer for 49 days until Shavuot, which began on May 28th that year, the night before Ziggy's birthday. 

There was a shabbat ingathering for his 56th birthday: the Senior Son came in even though they were moving into their new house on Sunday, my folks flew up from Flah-rida. FIL was already living with us. Ziggy held court at the shabbat/birthday table. There were lots of laughs, a few terrible jokes, but behind it we all knew. On Sunday, we had tenaim for the Junior Son and his fiancée. And we all pretended everything was just fine.

One week after that, I became a widow. 

Counting the omer is my least favorite thing to think about. It's the counting of the last days of my husband's life. I should've asked this. I should've said that. If I had... What if...Maybe I should've... That list is endless and every time we count the omen at minyan, another question pops in my head. Not 4 questions. More like 400 or 4000 questions. 

So forgive me if I don't feel much like writing right now. Instead, I will leave you with Ziggy's favorite joke.

Two guys were sitting at a bar at the top of 666 Madison Avenue in Manhattan, drinking heavily. 

 

First guy sez, "Hey, I'm from Chicago and I've never seen the wind blow in any city like I've seen here today."

The second man replies, "Yeah, it's sure something al'right. Why, when they wash the windows over on the Empire State Building?.. They have to tie themselves to the scaffold or get blown off. In fact, right around this building the winds are some of the worst in all of Manhattan because of the way they swirl around all these tall buildings. You see that ledge over there? If the wind's from the north like it is today, it'll be blowing _up_ that side of the building about 200 miles an hour.. fast enough to blow you back onto the deck if you jumped over the railing. I mean, hey, I drink here all the time and actually saw a suicide prevented by that crazy wind pattern. Pretty weird, let me tell you!"

"Strong winds blowing up? Yeah, sure. But blowing up fast enough to blow a guy back onto the deck? Nope. No way. Never!"

The first man draws himself up, "You callin' me a liar? Well hell, I'm just drunk enough to prove it to ya.."

He walks to the edge of the railing, jumps over and falls about 50 feet before rising slowly back to the deck, landing on his feet. After straightening his tie and combing his hair back in place, he turns to his drinking buddy, "There, smart-ass, _now_ do you believe me?"

The first man is absolutely stupefied with amazement. Finally, slamming back the rest of his drink, he says, "That's way cool, dude! I gotta try that!". He, too, walks to the railing and jumps over.. falling 66 stories to a horrible death on the sidewalk below.

The second man returns to the bar wearing a sad grin. "Hey.. Joe! Gimme another one."

The bartender, having observed all this, replies, "You know something? You're a _mean_ drunk, Superman."

The Wifely Person's Tip 'the Week

Always leave 'em laughing. 

Now we are enslaved. Next year we will be free.

I am in the throes of getting ready for Pesach. This is the ultimate punishment for that little incident in Gan Eden involving a tree and a piece fruit. I don't want to talk about why 5 chickens are defrosting in various plastic bags in my still chametz fridge which will be completely pulled apart and scrubbed into insensibility tomorrow morning when the cleaning service comes in for the assist.

The cabinets to be used are already empty. The counters are almost clear....the toaster will go away tomorrow morning after I have my requisite crumpet  for breakfast. Knife, dish, and  coffee mug will also do a disappearing act before we start the BIG SCRUB. Yes, there is boiling water involved. See, I have this plan. 

I work on the action/reward system of motivation. IF I get the whole change thing done by Wednesday morning, I get to play canasta in the afternoon. IF I get the soup started and the matzah balls prepped Wednesday night, I get to have a long overdue manicure (my hands look like chicken feet) on Thursday. That means on Friday, I can stroll through Byerly's for fresh produce and the last of the dairy stuff that has to be bought ahead before I start final preparation for the first seder. 

The TempTee Cream Cheese debacle reached epic proportions last week, but then a fresh supply was spotted at Cub in Knollwood. I alerted my most dear Mrs. Junior  Son who immediately ran over and scored cream cheese for all. Now,  if only I could find  egg matzah which appears to be a casualty of the supply chain. And  I explored large swaths of St. Louis Park this morning armed with a list. I successfully completed the mission...except I forgot to buy new rubber gloves. Thank goodness there's still time for that if there isn't a spare pair in the Pesadik boxes. 

And if that is not enough, second seder has moved from my house to the kids. I am ecstatic! Joyful! And, she's making brisket. This means I shall not be forcing people to eat my terrible brisket. Seriously. I make terrible brisket. There. I've admitted it. Even my mother, who could not cook, made better brisket than I do. 

Read all of the above with the grain of salt I am tossing on it. 

There is plenty of food on the shelves at the grocery store, even if I can't get egg matzah this year. There are still lots of fruits and vegetables to be had, kosher for Passover Coke if you want, and Temp Tee whipped cream cheese. 

The Passover seder begins with Maggid, the telling of the exodus from Egypt, and it begins with this introduction:

This is the bread of our affliction, which our ancestors ate in the land of Mitzrayim [Egypt.]

All who are hungry, let them come in and eat

All who are in need, let them come celebrate Pesach

Now we are here. Next year in the land of Israel.

Now we are enslaved. Next year we will be free. 

The purpose of Maggid is to tell the story in a language everyone can understand. The exodus is meant to be dissected and discussed by all at the table. Questions are to be asked. Children are encouraged to answer as well as ask. Maggid is the transmission of the root story of our very existence. Although we often joke that a distillation of Jewish holidays is "they tried to kills us; we won; let's eat," the  seder provides a prescribed methodology to the tale, asking that as we retell the story in ways everyone can understand, we still manage to transmit the values of Jewish life as we do it.  

"Let them come in and eat," may be the first pointer, but it isn't the last. There are the famous Four questions asked by the youngest at the seder. This teaches us everyone is involved with the telling of the departure from Mitzrayim. Ever wonder about the 10 drops of wine removed from the glass to represent the 10 plagues? That's because our joy at being free comes at a cost to others, therefore our joy is diminished. I can go on forever. 

But I won't. 

Across the globe people are suffering at the hands of others. Right now, much attention is focused on Ukraine...but they kinda look like us. It's easy to sympathize with their plight. Not much attention is focused on Yemen and over 100,000 people who have died in that civil war. Or the Uyghurs in China who are being systematically imprisoned for being Uyghurs. Or the Yanomami of the Amazon who are being beaten off their lands. And, just for good measure, I'll add the Palestinians who are being systematically denied a nation NOT because of Israel, but because their own government will not invest in building an economy and a functional state. Simplifications all, I am certain, but you get the point. 

Every one of those groups wages a war for freedom to be who they are in peace and security, unafraid of what the night will bring. 

Jews make up less than 0.19% of the 7.89 billion worldwide population. Translated, that means out of 7.89 billion people on the planet, approximately 15.2 million people. That's less than the population of Metropolitan New York City (18.9 million people.) We are less than one percent of the total population of the world, yet there is a significant number of people who would like to see that number shrink even more.

That's why, as we come together for Passover this year, we cannot be a silent minority. President Zelensky, a Jew, is standing up to a heinous taskmaster. Jews have not had it easy in Ukraine, yet he is their president and he is doing what nobody believed Ukrainians could do. Would that we could open our doors to all Ukraine to say, "Come in and eat." The total population of Ukraine is around 41.2 million people, and I am certain that number is not adjusted to reflect the refugee departure. The estimated realistic population of Jews in Ukraine is thought to be about 90,000 yet they managed to elect the right guy for this job and he just happens to be Jewish. When we tell the story of our quest for freedom, take a moment to think of those who are not where the grocery stores have food on the shelves because bombs are falling all around them. 

This Passover, the world is looking to him to continue to be the leader Ukraine needs. That he's a Jew shouldn't matter. But to us, it does. 

Next year, may we all be free. 

**Note: population numbers and percentages are from various governmental sources and Wikipedia**

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

If you know someone who is without a seder.

invite him or her to yours.

It's what a community does. 

What He Said: Fill the silence with your music

Folks,

This is what a live hero looks like. This is what an honorable man looks like. This is what a person who is fighting for an entire nation looks like. 

President Volodymyr Zelensky remote addressed the Grammy audience

He delivers his speech in English. Listen to what President Volodymyr  Zelensky says. 

Now, read it just so you can really grok the words:

“The war. What’s more opposite to music? The silence of ruined cities and killed people. Our children draw swooping rockets, not shooting stars. Over 400 children have been injured and 153 children died, and we will never see them drawing.

“Our parents are happy to wake up in the morning — in bomb shelters, but alive. Our loved ones don’t know if we will be together again. The war doesn’t let us choose who survives and who stays in eternal silence.

“Our musicians wear body armor instead of tuxedos. They sing to the wounded in hospitals — even to those who can’t hear them. But the music will break through anyway. We defend our freedom to live, to love, to sound.

“On our land, we are fighting Russia, which brings horrible silence with its bombs — the dead silence. Fill the silence with your music. Fill it today to tell our story. Tell the truth about this war on your social networks, on TV.

“Support us in any way you can. Any — but not silence. And then peace will come to all our cities the war is destroying — Chernihiv, Kharkiv, Volnovakha, Mariupol and others. They are legends already, but I have a dream of them living — and free, like you on the Grammy stage.” 

When We, the People, talk about honor, we don't talk about Donald Trump or Bill Clinton. We talk about dead guys like George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, and Abraham Lincoln. We are looking for those who walked the walk, talked the talk, and stood tall against so many odds.  

Volodymyr Zelensky used to be a comic actor. Hell, he even played a reluctant, bicycle-riding president of Ukraine on The Servant Of The People. Maybe that was on-the-job training. But whatever he did in his past, it has provided him with a steel spine. And brass whatevers. He's not joking now. His nation has more than dented the Russian Army. 

Vadim Ghirda / AP

The Russians are bombing hospitals and civilian shelters, one of the original war crimes  addressed in the Fourth Geneva Convention. There are rules, even in war, and the Geneva Conventions are very specific about what is and is not permitted. Whose orders are Russian soldiers following when they kill civilians, hands tied behind their backs, execution-style?   If these are Putin's orders as relayed thought his officers, they are all war criminals just as the Nazis were. Those who executed civilians are as culpable as Nazi camp guards. 

From the Washington Post:

Bucha’s mayor, Anatoly Fedoruk, told The Washington Post that roughly 270 local residents had been found buried in two mass graves. Roughly three dozen were found dead in the streets, including some who had been bound and executed, Fedoruk told The Post. Bodies of at least 20 men in civilian clothes were found lying on a single street, according to Agence France-Presse journalists. 

And then there are the very young soldiers driving tanks and taking orders because they were told they would be greeted as hero liberators. What do the Ukrainians do with those rather confused soldiers?  This photo, from THE TIMES of London, shows just that: a Russian soldier speaking to his mother in a video call on his captor’s phone. Over and over, Ukrainian officials are hearing from Russian soldiers that they were told they would be liberating Ukraine from Nazis. And not unlike the boy soldiers the Nazis deployed in the field or the Russians deployed during World War I as well as their own 1918 Revolution. These kids seem to be unaware and confused about the mission on which they were sent. That alone is a crime against their own humanity.

Meanwhile, Russian mothers have been offered safe escorts at the Ukraine-Poland border from where they will be taken to Kyiv to pick up their sons, then returned to the border. That made so much sense to me. I hope some Moms take them up on it. I would go. Whether or not they would be safe upon returning home, of course, is a separate question.

Ukraine continues to beg for assistance from the West. The really incredible part? While they're doing just that, they are beating back the Russian Army. 

Glory to Ukraine. 

Coming out of this Jewish mouth, that's really saying something. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

Your store is out or hasn't gotten your favorite Pesadik treat?

The supply chain isn't working?

You're not gonna die from a lack of kosher marshmallows. 

Want a serious tip?

Take a moment to check your perspective.

Just In Case You Missed Reality America TV

Dead Russian tank

The battery of Ukraine continues to dominate the news. Interestingly enough, the war is leaning toward a stalemate: Ukraine has held off the Russian invaders to a surprising degree. Is it possible that Ukraine will be a mouse that roared? Possible. Is it possible Russia is using this moment to regroup and realign its strategy for taking down Ukraine? Probably. Is it possible that Putin's grip on Russia is slipping, even ever so slightly? Not bloody likely.

Being that there is a minor pause in hostilities, this week's outrage centers on SCOTUS. This is a two-part outrage, both of which speak to the dystopian dysfunction of our government. While both should be horrifically shocking, neither is. And that's the scary part.

I watched a good deal of the confirmation hearings for sitting federal Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson. Notice the italics there? The nominee is currently a sitting federal judge on the United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit since 2021. In other words, she was confirmed with bipartisan support for that bench, and as such, she is to be treated with the same respect as any other seated judge whether or not you like her. I thought the woman was incredibly unflappable. Her responses were thoughtful and without rancor even when challenged by GOP senators. However, Senator Ted Cruz was an embarrassment to the chamber with his screed that prevented her from answering his questions. If he disagreed with her, great. Fine. But for G-d's sake, let her talk. All that man did was prove to the nation and the world watching that he was an imbecile of the first order. Not that it was news, but his behavior more closely resembled that of a toddler than a person elected to high office in this country. The whole video is disheartening, but you can skip over to about minute 20 to watch the really big fireworks.

Why is that acceptable behavior from anyone, much less a senator. I went back to listen to confirmation hearings for Amy Coney Barrett and Neil Gorsuch  to see if I could find comparable behavior on the part of a senator. Sure, I heard Sen. Durbin question Barrett about gun rights and one of her dissents. I heard Sen. Feinstein push Gorsuch on overturning abortion. What I did not see in the hours I watched was anyone slamming either nominee the way Cruz attacked nominee Brown. If anyone has a clip to share, please let me know.  The closest I came was Al Franken questioning nominee Gorsuch. It's interesting to watch, but I did not see anything that approached the viciousness of Cruz's behavior.

Is there any wonder as to why ethically and morally centered people have no wish to enter the realm of public service? The threat of public evisceration alone would be enough to scare off sane people. Our government is no longer about We, the People; it's about LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! I'm pretty sure when they name this epoch, it's going to be the Narcissistic Age. 

So if the purpose of the court is to be the last bastion of the separation of powers in our so-called checks'n'balances government, the increasing politicalization of the court doesn't just simply undermine the function of SCOTUS, it puts paid to the notion of impartiality before the law. I'm not implying the sins of the GOP are the only sins to be counted; there is plenty of blame to be spread between both parties. But the impossibility of civil discourse in the hearings does not bode well for We, the People. 

We, the People, have long counted on that separation of powers coupled with impartiality. I know some people claim the politicalization of the process began with President Reagan's nomination of Robert Bork, considered by many to be an ideological extremist. Senator Edward Kennedy's condemnation of Bork's record was extreme, but it did the job of keeping him off the court:

Robert Bork's America is a land in which women would be forced into back-alley abortions, blacks would sit at segregated lunch counters, rogue police could break down citizens' doors in midnight raids, schoolchildren could not be taught about evolution, writers and artists would be censored at the whim of government, and the doors of the federal courts would be shut on the fingers of millions of citizens for whom the judiciary is often the only protector of the individual rights that are the heart of our democracy.

America is a better and freer nation than Robert Bork thinks. Yet in the current delicate balance of the Supreme Court, his rigid ideology will tip the scales of justice against the kind of country America is and ought to be.

The damage that President Reagan will do through this nomination, if it is not rejected by the Senate, could live on far beyond the end of his presidential term. President Reagan is still our President. But he should not be able to reach out from the muck of Irangate, reach into the muck of Watergate, and impose his reactionary vision of the Constitution on the Supreme Court and on the next generation of Americans. No justice would be better than this injustice.

Bork would later go on to say nothing in that speech was accurate, but it was a moot point; his nomination was defeated by a vote of 42 for but 58 against his confirmation.

Things haven't been too smooth since then, but the debacle of Merrick Garland reigns supreme in congressional malfeasance, courtesy of Mitch (Yurtle the Senatorial Turtle) McConnell. And oh, he just continues to live up to his grotesque reputation. 

Meanwhile....

While you're paying no attention to the bull-oney behind the curtains, SCOTUS ain't that sparkly clean. In the last week, it has come to light that Ol' Ginni Thomas, wife of the sex offender justice Clarence Thomas, has been advocating for the overthrow of the government of the United States. Seems Ol' Ginni, herself a lawyer, had a chain of emails with then-Chief of Staff Mark Meadows urging him to work to overturn the election. 

As James Downie wrote in Sunday's Washington Post:

Let’s be clear: Ginni Thomas’s texts themselves aren’t the issue. Yes, her argument that “Biden and the Left is attempting the greatest Heist of our History” is deluded. Biden won the 2020 election. But she has a right to her views, same as anyone else.

The problem lies in a late November message to Meadows in which Thomas refers to a reassuring conversation with her “best friend.” It’s hard not to read that as a reference to her husband — who once described their partnership as “equally yoked.”

 

First, as even Portman admitted, “if a case comes before [Thomas] that’s exactly on point, … that might be an issue where he would think about” recusal. Of course, such a case already has come before the court: In January, Thomas was the lone dissenter when the high court rejected former president Donald Trump’s efforts to block the release of administration records related to Jan. 6. Did Thomas dissent knowing — or suspecting — that his wife’s text messages might be among those records?

Cute couple, eh?

Explain to me, if you would, how Clarence Thomas is not influenced by his wife's actions simply by association....as in presumably sharing a bed? Pillow Talk? Of course, it's very possible that if he was a surgeon he would insist on operating on her himself. 

Even if you're mad as hell at someone, if you share a space, even if you're not talking, you know what they're thinking on at least some level. Like he's gonna suddenly jump up and say, "I never talk to her, I don't listen to her, she's a wacko." If that was true, he would've absolutely recused himself from the case immediately...or voted with the rest of the justices. But he didn't. He was the lone dissent. Wanna guess why? No nookie-nookie for him if he did.  

I can't shake the old feeling that I woulda loved Anita Hill to be the nominee. This brouhaha woulda been icing on her cake. Does that make me a horrid person? Probably.

We, the People, are in a fragile place. Our country has formed more than a fissure; we are staring into a chasm of conflict that may ultimately split this country. We have always considered ourselves a melting pot of cultures, but maybe that's the problem. Oil and water? Meat or dairy? Oatmeal or grits? Hamburgers or tacos? Vax or no vax? Hard to say what divides us the most, but it's increasingly clear that We, the People subscribe to 2 very different cultures: one red and one blue. The purple areas grow smaller and smaller each year. Is it time to consider our options before a bloody civil war breaks out?

Maybe with a split we would find a middle ground of cooperation. One can only hope. The closer we come to the midterms, followed by the presidential election, the more I dread the tropes, the hate, the spin, the misinformation that will invariably flood all communications. 

Let's all hope I am totally wrong. But I don't think I am. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

The time to think about Passover is over.

It's boots on the ground to the grocery stores to lay in the matzah supply.

Good luck getting a kosher brisket without a second mortgage on the house. 

No, No, No, We _Should_ Talk About Putin

I listened to any number of talking heads talking about why Putin did not invade Ukraine while Feckless Former Leader was in office. Oh, all sorts of people said all sorts of stuff, but one refrain sorta resonated with me: he didn't need to. 

The thinking behind that is Feckless Former Leader's not-so-subtle attempt to weaken NATO was at Putin's behest. IF, and this is not as big an if as it was a couple of weeks ago, Putin's plan is to restore some semblance of the Soviet Bloc renamed as Russian Confederation or even United States of Russia, then he needs to be able  to move on the smaller former Soviet states to make that happen. As long as NATO is the dominant unifying force in Europe, he cannot make that happen. Putin was getting exactly what he wanted from the US, and a second Feckless presidency would've sealed that deal. When Feckless lost to Biden, Putin lost his toehold in the Oval Office. He no longer had a way to influence American foreign policy through the highest office in our land. 

Crimea had been Putin's test early in 2014. At the time, the GOP resoundingly criticized the Obama administration's lack of response to the annexation of Crimea. They felt economic sanctions against Russia were an insufficient response to the action. President Obama even told The Atlantic's Jeffrey Goldberg:

The fact is that Ukraine, which is a non-NATO country, is going to be vulnerable to military domination by Russia no matter what we do.

In creating their platform for  the 2016 presidential elections, despite their criticism, the GOP did not include a plank for sending weaponry to Ukraine to fight Russian-backed separatists. During the campaign, Feckless even intimated he would recognize the annexation of Crimea by Russia. So by the time the election occurs and the inauguration takes place, Putin already knew he had a new  BFF in the White House. Just about every interaction with Russia after that has Putin's fingerprints all over it.  

Cut to 2022, and Feckless Leader, now Feckless FORMER Leader, is still singing Putin's praises. In February, during an interview on the Clay Travis & Buck Sexton Show,  Feckless  gushed:

I went in yesterday and there was a television screen, and I said, 'This is genius.' Putin declares a big portion...of Ukraine, Putin declares it as independent.

Someone please explain what is genius about Putin's actions? 

I find it odd that Feckless Former Leader is still the de facto head of the GOP even though he is openly encouraging Putin's aggression. Seems to be a rather large disconnect between supporting Ukraine's government, and by extension, its right to exist as an independent nation, and supporting a guy who openly supports the architect of this egregious war crime by calling him a genius. These are the same folks who claim the election was stolen and their constitutional freedoms are at stake. Why aren't they responding to the death of democracy as it unfolds and spreads to Ukraine as it already has to Crimea? 

Meanwhile, back at Red Square, Putin is misinforming his citizens about the war by blocking outside news from filtering into Russia except Tucker Carlson on Fox News. What message does that send you, dear reader? Maybe it's because Tucker Carlson and Fox, and by extension, Feckless Former Leader, are allied with Putin's positions? I don't know. You tell me. 

Ukraine is fighting back. Zelensky is talking to every parliament he can, including our Congress. He has become a global hero for standing up against a giant bully with little more than a slingshot. Good for him! He sets the bar higher for every head of state on the globe. He is calling out every leader who has been silent or not vocal enough. Whether he wins or loses this war, Vlodomyr Zelensky is a global hero. 

He's the hero Feckless Former Leader imagines himself to be. He is also the hero Putin portrays himself to the Russians. As international business pulls out of Russia, Putin is losing his grip on that hero image. As banks and businesses close, he's no longer leading Russians into a great economy, he is leading them back 70 years to Stalin's Soviet Union. The ruble has tanked. McDonald's is gone along with every other recognizable brand that once lined streets and malls. The carpet bombing of Ukraine doesn't just kill people; it's happens to be destroying the bread basket of eastern Europe. Ukraine is a major wheat exporter. If the people are hiding in bunkers and the land is burned to a crisp, what are the odds the fields will be planted and flour will be available for purchase? Not bloody likely.

The wholesale destruction of Ukraine will be felt across Europe. According to Wikipedia:

Ukraine is a developing country with a lower-middle income economy, ranking 74th in the Human Development Index. Ukraine is among the poorest countries in Europe. As of 2020 it suffers from low life expectancy and widespread corruption. However, due to its extensive fertile land, Ukraine is one of the largest grain exporters in the world.

Antonov 225 taking off

The red highlight is mine. This is excessively important because while their transportation industry is probably their most profitable asset, that they feed large portions of Europe is just about as important. Humans cannot live on ginormous Antonov Airplanes alone. They must have food, and Ukraine is good at providing that. And as the Russian economy tanks, they're gonna need all the food they can get. 

But no one is in the field night now. They may not be safe enough out in the open to prep and plant crops. 

Putin's long game would not be centered on Ukraine if they did not have something he wanted. Antonov is the biggest airplane in the world. Just look at all those wheels! Think of the thrust it must take to push into the atmosphere. If you've ever seen one take off...and I have seen several coming and going at MSP... they are more than big; you can feel the thrum of the engines throbbing even when you sit in the car. All that throb and thrust. Wow. Makes me think Putin needs manly Antonovs to offset his little dick. 

Okay, okay, I know. Or rather, I don't know how big his dick is, but if you've ever known someone with a really small one, chances are they're driving a Ferrari...or whatever biggest engine muscle car they can get. Putin had control of a whole country and an economy that was viable, but clearly it wasn't enough. He could've chosen his people over Swiss bank accounts he can no longer access, but he didn't. Like every other dictator/totalitarian putz, he's started a war because the thought that would make him the Big Man in Europe. Hell, it didn't work for Hitler, Mussolini, or Franco....why would it work for him in the age of instant and aggressive media? 

Yeah, the same questions can be asked about Feckless Former Leader. Narcissism and ego are turning out to be not merely speculative issues, but uncontested fatal flaws. Feckless aspired to be Putin or at leasts what his pea-sized brain saw as Putin's flash and grandeur. At the same time, Putin bought into Feckless's fantasy camp support system.

President Obama may have seriously underestimated the importance of the whole of Ukraine versus the Crimea annexation, and that error may very well have set this ball rolling. Putin chose not to invade Ukraine while Feckless was in office because he believed Trump was a shoo-in for a second term, especially with his special assistance. Never underestimate what We, the People, will do when someone attempts to corner us. They were counting on We, the People to be taken in by their flimflam performance No matter how loud he screeched about fake election results, Feckless believed the fantasy when, in fact, the only one tampering with the election was him. And he lost. Fair and square, Biden won hands down.

Without Feckless in office, Vlad the Dictator had to shuffle his playbook. That shuffle is what we are seeing now. The war against Ukraine is supposed to make him great. 

However...

Gone is the long game, the one that would've won the hearts and minds of the Russian people. Instead, Putin's scorched earth policy has earned him the derision of the global community. He is the one cornered and that's what makes him excessively dangerous. Like the snake that he is, Putin will strike out. That instant news cycle he didn't understand is what will ultimately bring him crashing down, but not before way too many people die.

Despite his best efforts to hide reality from the Russian consumer, they will find out. When the stockpiled Mickey D's and Starbucks' coffee pods run out with no replacements forthcoming, the people will figure out their grease and caffeine deprivation mode is caused directly by Vlad the Dictator. They're not stupid. When they quickly figure out that IKEA and Deutsche Bank have suspended activity,  Estee Lauder and Ferragamo are gone, and Ferrari is no more, they are not going to blame America or the UK or France or Italy...their sites will be leveled at Putin. 

You see, it's the economy, people. All those oligarch wannabes are now locked up in the New Russia and not only can they not get their luxury goods fix, they can't leave. They are all prisoners of one man's cupidity and unending stupidity. 

Putin has already lost. He's locked in his room, a toddler with a temper, destroying all his toys. In the end, he will be exposed. He will grasp at straws and find nothing in his hands. Meanwhile, the swath of destruction will be named in his memory.

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Day

"Quand les riches se font la guerre, ce sont les pauvres qui meurent."

                                                                      Jean-Paul Sartre

When the rich go to war, it is the poor who die.

Statecraft 401: Advanced Problems in Acting On The World Stage

As I type, I am mildly uncomfortable. The old furnace is gone. The old air conditioner is gone. The old water heater is on its way out. Ergo, there is neither heat nor water in my house. In the great scheme of things, this is a minor inconvenience. The new furnace has been moved into place. The new air conditioner is on the cement pad outside the garage. The new water heater is just coming off the truck. They will all be installed and reattached by dinner time. I will be warm, with hot water readily available, and if the air conditioner actually gets turned on twice this summer, it will be a lot. 

I realize how intensely lucky I am to be in my home, to be able to afford new heating/cooling equipment, and have running water. But for an accident of family history, I could be in Ukraine or Belarus. I can never lose sight of that. 

Ziggy's favorite mantra

Writing The Wifely Person Speaks has been a weekly challenge for more than a decade. A decade. That's a long time. Sure, I piss and moan some weeks about "making the donuts," but I do it. Some days, I appreciate it more than others. This is true. But that I can do this every Monday, week in/week out, month in/month out, year in/year out is a testament to my fervent belief in freedom of expression.  Writing this blog is, in its own way, a privilege. I get to say what I want, when I want. My blog, my rules. That said, you can agree with me or disagree and I am happy to read your opinions. (Except the death threats. Those I'd prefer not to get.) 

So when I read Putin has cut off Russia from all outside news sources, I get worried. I have a fair number of readers in Russia who will not get to read this episode. I worry about the ones who are hearing about gas weaponry production in Ukraine together with Nazis roaming the streets...both reasons for Russia to race to Ukraine's rescue. Or so the general population is being told. I want to believe someone will get the truth about what's happening in Ukraine into Russia, but I'm not sure it will be enough or in time. Putin is a manipulator, and he's counting on a whole lotta sleight o'hand to get NATO et al to do what he wants. 

That he's accusing Ukraine of manufacturing and planning to use chemical/biological weapons is a great excuse to use them in "defense." He's ranting about Nazis running about Ukraine, yet he's the one pushing for annexation of territories like Crimea was and now he's setting up Donetsk and Luhansk (the Donbas region) the same way. Are the people of those two areas clamoring to be saved by Russia? Not a simple answer. The Washington Post has a pretty good explanation of the schism, but in a nutshell, it comes down to ethnicity:

Still, Putin has repeatedly invoked the idea of Donbas’s distinctive regional identity as a basis to “defend” its Russian-speaking people from a supposedly intolerant Ukraine. Separatists have also capitalized on this identity to fuel support and rebellion against Kyiv.

 

In Kyiv-controlled Donbas, a majority wants the separatist regions to return to Ukraine. In the separatist-controlled area, over half want to join Russia, either with or without some autonomous status, per a survey published in 2021.

Gee, ethnicity. There's a surprise. But these are matters for the population of that region to decide and while Russia is riding in to "help" the separatists, I can't see Putin giving them their own autonomous region. That conflict has already cost over 14,000 lives between Ukraine and Donbas region. While Russia appears to be pulling those strings for the separatists, Putin is, at the same time, attempting to hijack Ukraine's ability to set policy for itself. The interjection of Russia into Ukraine's foreign and domestic policy would not be tolerated by any other country, so why would Zelensky's government be expected to put up with it? 

See, this isn't just Moscow beating up on some kid. This is a complicated and delicate balance within Ukraine that requires chess-like skills. It's not going to be instantly resolved. And frankly, unless you knew there was another "situation" underneath it, you cannot possibly just go all out for one side or the other. Not that I am in any way suggesting that Russia be allowed to continue the bully pulpit it presently occupies. NO WAY.

So, let's look at this from a slightly different angle. 

On Monday's CBS Morning News, retired Lt General H.R. McMasters appeared as a war analyst. Now once upon a time, this guy replaced Michael Flynn as Feckless Leader's National Security Advisor. At the time, I openly wondered if this was a junta in the making. 

So now, McMasters is spouting his own opinions on Ukraine. He's worth listening to, if only for another point of view. He's saying not to take anything off the table, that doing so feeds into Putin's brazen misbehavior. He maintains that the WWIII analogies are not useful; they give Putin a chance to rattle his nuclear sabres in such a way that the US and Nato will be forced to step back. Meanwhile, Putin will continue to interdict the supply chain going into Ukraine, cutting off both military and humanitarian aid. McMasters also thinks this might be laying the groundwork for Russia to use chemical weapons. 

I want to disagree with him, but I'm not sure I can. However...

That said, I suspect McMasters may be looking at this in a rather shallow, superficial analysis. I think he is underestimating the backdoor channel of diplomacy and I think he underestimates Putin as he moves his pieces around the board. Putin is classical Russian and I would venture to guess the guy is a chess player. Maybe not a very good one, but he is thinking maybe 6 or 7 moves ahead. Biden, on the other hand, is not, as FOX suggests, playing checkers. I think Biden might actually be playing the long game, and if he's not a great chess player, he's brought in those that are. Biden's been a politician for a long time. Don't underestimate his ability to know what he can and cannot do himself, what he needs skilled foreign service folks for, and most importantly, how to get the deal done. He's been around too long not to know how to play the ultimate game. Granted, he may not be sparkling brill, but he's savvy enough to know how to get the helpers he needs. 

Meanwhile, no sane government, leader, or alliance wants World War III. Some of the insane ones might, like Putin or Kim Jong Whoever, but most of the world finds the nuclear dick-waving dangerously stupid. Take into consideration whose dick it is, and suddenly you can't just walk up and hand-slap the guy. In his quest NOT to lose face, he is decidedly capable of pressing one or more buttons. Even though he is unlikely to test wind speed and direction prior to pressing said buttons, he may have no qualms about scorched-earth maneuvering if it will guarantee some kind of victory. 

And I am betting this guy has a well stocked bunker ready to go. Dictators always prepare for the worst, and I suspect Vlad the Dictator isn't any different from his predecessors. This guy has a Swiss bank account. He's got to have money stashed wherever he can. The open sewer secret is that he's got digs in Switzerland where, according to the tabloids, he already stashed his mistress, retired gymnast Alina Kabaeva, and their 4 kids. 

Zelensky, on the other hand, is an actor. Probably a very good one. His performance on the world stage is well-crafted, as it should be, and he, too, is playing the long game. I am anxious to see his address to our CongressClowns, the elected gang that cannot possible shoot straight, because Zelensky knows exactly how to address them. 

Yeah, I'm opining all over the place tonight. But I'm still a director; that never goes away. I see refined performance where others see a speech. That was one of the biggest problems with Feckless Leader; he could't stop the aggrandizing ad lib. Zelensky was on that call about Hunter Biden. He listened up close and personal to that narcissistic dingbat, and he immediately had to have recognized that level of bad acting when he heard it. I'm betting Zelensky learned a lot about statecraft from those conversations, and I'm betting he absorbed every last bit of that information. 

He's been coached, I suspect, to keep the focus on him and away from NATO while everyone else is working beneath and behind him to settle Ukraine in a totally defensible position while Putin continues to play the Dictator's Gambit. Zelensky's harangues are always well crafted and hit the emotional high points for greatest impact. But every good actor needs a good director and a great stage manager to make it all work seamlessly when it's live and in person. Zelensky knows this; he leaves nothing to chance. The guy is cagey smart and knows Ukraine's survival depends on playing to his strengths. 

Deus ex machina in the real world. Just watch Servant of the People.  How often do you get to see real life imitating art?

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

If you buy a house with a 20-year-old furnace, 

immediately budget the replacement cost. 

The Junior Son commended me on my fine adulting skills this week.

I'm so proud. 

The Wifely Person's Bonus Observation

The Rolling Stones announced they will start a tour called

SIXTY.

Why? Because they have been together as a band for

60 years. 

That's longer than most marriages...even the ones that last. 

Oh, you might want to know that Mick and Keith were born in 1943

They are currently 78 years old.

Each.

Which means that they will both turn 80 in 2023

yes, EIGHTY 

while they are on tour...with new songs they just wrote.

Why does that alta kaker have brown hair?