Monday, June 26, 2023

Knowing From Whence You Came

the cemetery plot gate - where the three brothers are buried


Three brothers, Abraham, Louis, and Benjamin (my maternal grandfather,) came to America from a shtetl near Minsk called Horviler-Davidevka. Abraham, the eldest, was known to be a hard worker who labored to bring his large family to America. Louis, who we knew as Labeh, the middle brother, partnered with his younger brother Benjamin in a kosher butcher shop. When Ben died at 42,  Labeh refused to give his widowed sister-in-law Ben's share of the business, leaving her and her 3 children to starve. They're even buried near to each other. Just a regular kinda American family. 

We who gathered this weekend are the descendants of Abraham and Benjamin. Louis's family has been unreachable for a long time. Meanwhile, the known descendants of those three brothers number 210 people, the youngest of which is 6 weeks old...and was in attendance.

I'm not about to bore you with the follies and foibles of this clan but I am going to take advantage of the my blog, my rules precept to write about this weekend in Lakeville, Connecticut. 

Blame it on Covid. Because no one could get together, the descendants of Abraham, who have always been a tight knit group, started up a regular zoom call. Whatever the genesis, they began cousin zoom calls. Someone reached out to me and my cousin Ellis, two of Benjamin's grandchildren, and invited us into the group. This cackling cadre meets on zoom every other week to talk and laugh a lot...and somewhere, someone had the brilliant idea of having a reunion. Since two of Abraham's sons had egg/chicken farms in Moodus, Connecticut where the family used to gather when I was a kid, we decided the reunion had to be in Connecticut. It took over a year of planning, but this past weekend, 45 adults and 9 kids convened for the first Simon family reunion since the impromptu ones on the farm.. 


Oh, ye skeptics of little faith! Be gone! This was a totally fabulous weekend. We got to tell stories, share memories, look at a whole lot of really old pictures and even some home movies. We saw each other as we once were...and found we rather liked each other as we are now. As we grew more comfortable with each other, we talked about the sad stuff, too. Two of our cousins were lost on 9/11.  I suspect I always knew the chicken farms were the heart of the extended family, and I was relieved to know I wasn't the only one with those memories of getting pecked. And if you've not experienced blow-up chicken races, you just haven't lived.

I did not know what to expect from this past weekend. I knew the older generation of cousins, all of whom are now gone, through my mom who kept in touch with everyone. I met most of my cohort cousins when we were kids, had kid memories of them, but besides my first cousins, no real contact in recent years. The zoom calls changed all that. Suddenly, there were all these people who knew other parts of my family's story....stories I'd heard, but never put together. Talking to them every other week was one thing, but getting together? 

The warmth, love, acceptance, and laughter was embracing and amazing. Not overwhelming at all. There was so much cross talk it was hard to get everyone to shut up for the presentations, and even then, we were yelling out additions and corrections! A veritable cacophony of information. We were all hungry for that information. We wanted to know who we were and who we are. 

One upon a time, people stayed in their villages and towns, and even ghettos. You knew who was related to whom, who was beloved, who was feared, and who shared that weird forehead wrinkle with you. There is definitely a "Simon Face;" lots of the guys have it...complete with dimples and chin clefts. We discovered blue eyes, left-handedness, breast cancer, and depression seem to run in the family. I favor my paternal side, but one of my kids is blue-eyed ....just like my mom who is also lefty....just like my grandfather....and just like my granddaughter. That makes me smile because in looking at my cousins, I got to see that same grey-blue eye color across several generations; distant or not, we are part of a shared gene pool. 

I made sure to have lunch on Saturday with my friend Wendy who actually lives near the resort and took me over there for the site-inspection last summer. On the way back from lunch, we stopped at one of the most idyllic places I'd ever seen, Twin Oaks Preserve. Apparently this is a popular site for painting, because two guys were doing just that. I asked one of them if I could shoot a picture over his shoulder. He grinned and nodded. "I've been many places," he told me as he pointed the end of his brush toward the view, "but this is why I live here."  I didn't know a thing about this guy other than he loved to paint; you could see it in his face. Whatever brought him to this spot, I wanted to believe, was out of love for something or perhaps someone. The reason didn't matter; his acceptance of his own presence did.

The next day, as I  headed back to Long Island with my cousins Ellis and Tracey, we passed the same spot, and the two guys were still painting. For a moment, I envied them, then realized I had just experienced my own sense of continuity. And perhaps more importantly, I needed to figure out how not to let that go. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week
Simon Zoom calls recommence next Tuesday.
We're already planning Reunion 2025.
Be there or be square.

Monday, June 19, 2023

My Blog, My Rules

I always joked about running a B&B. I was gonna call it Chez Siegfried, but the guy who thought it might be a fun thing to do left the building much sooner than we ever anticipated. The idea wasn't as much fun without him. HOWEVER, having house guests is another matter completely!

losing my star boarder
The Senior Son departed for home this morning, having been bunking in with me for 2 weeks while he did some decompressing and reconnecting with old friends. Since Mrs. Senior Son is a baker and this is June, she was more than happy to send him to Mam (that's me!) for a couple of weeks. Despite me being worried I would hock him to death, it turned out to be a fun time. He did his thing, I did mine, we had dinner together a few times, but did drink a lot of coffee in the morning. I don't know why I was surprised that it was fun, but it's happiness to have a decent relationship with my adult (almost 42-year old) child. 

One of the nice things about having the Senior Son around was the level of conversation. We did talk about politics. We did talk about the dumbing down of America. We did agree that it would be a whole different ball game had Feckless Loser just turned over the boxes and boxes of documents, and that had he done that, there would be no indictments. And we discussed this blog and the recent increase in traffic. 

That increase is significant and I'm rather enjoying watching the hit-o-meter spinning again just like it did before the cookie wars when everyone could reject all cookies. Just so you know the numbers, as I write this, the all time number of hits hit a 00 number: 
      • the first episode was published on Monday, July 26th, 2010 
      • there are (including this one) 675 published episodes
      • there are 475,800 total hits on THE WIFELY PERSON SPEAKS
      • to date, June 2023  has 12,908 separate hits.
That's a lot of hits, admittedly, more than usual these days. After checking with appropriate web monitors for web-crawlers, I have been assured this is not crawler activity. And this is not the first time I've had months like this. 

These days, I'm an old lady in the blogosphere. I have missed posting an episode only once...I was sick and put up a GONE FISHIN' sign once on May 30th, 2016. Twice if you count April 18th, 2022, but that one doesn't count because I posted one of Ziggy's jokes instead of writing something pithy. I've written through death, destruction, breast cancer surgeries, and assorted travels. I take this blog very seriously. And I have had a couple best of months when I ran the top rated episodes of all time. 

If you've never noticed, there are no ads on this blog, except for my three novels which are not sold through me, but through Amazon. I make no money from these mental meanderings nor will I ever. I do my homework and cite sources; if someone tells me I'm wrong about a statistic or a fact, and it turns out I am, I post the correction as soon as I vet it and attribute the correction to the first person who sent it. It's rare, but it does happen. I really try to be as truthful as possible and accurate in quotations.

I include a lotta links so you can see the articles and publications I reference. I want my readers to know where I'm getting my information. 

These days, I get fewer comments on the blog itself, but commentary through thewifelyperson@gmail.com have steadily increased over the years. And I answer every single email. And no, I do not get a lot of spam through that address. 

Why am I telling you this? 

The morning after last week's episode was published, someone whose opinion I respect, suggested in very specific terms that I stop writing about Feckless Loser. He offered no substantial reason, just that I should stop. This is not a right wing person, but someone who is dedicated to social justice and the Democratic party. I was stymied by the request. 

Truth be known, I would love to stop writing about Feckless Loser, but alas, this guy is not your usual press whore, he's down right dangerous. And while I know I'm usually preaching to the choir, every so often someone writes and says the links and the info I put out make a difference in their thinking. 

So if you want to know what has my knickers all twisted this week, read the transcript or watch a stream of William Barr, former US Attorney General, on last Sunday's Face the Nation. William Barr was on and while he has an agenda just like everyone else, he said some pretty shocking things. He's worth hearing, if only to try to sort through the hyperbole.

But maybe, if I didn't post this stuff, you might have missed a really interesting interaction...one that might help you to understand why Feckless Loser and his MAGA buddies are so very dangerous. They are not after the White House or Congress. These guys are after The Constitution Of The United States. Roe v. Wade was the canary in the coal mine, the tip of the iceberg, the man behind the curtain. 

I guess I could stop writing about that.

Or not. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week
My blog, my rules.
Agree? Disagree? 
Leave a comment or send an email
I will write back.

Monday, June 12, 2023

Why The 37 Indictments Are Scary

I was really excited about the new indictments against Feckless Loser until I read them. Yup, I read the whole document, and while there's lots of stuff in there, the one thing I didn't see was a charge dealing with the possible sharing or sale of defense information with a foreign government or leader, like Putin or Kim Jong Un. I was really hoping to see that. Someplace. Any place. Instead, there were a whole lotta middleweight charges that a good defense lawyer could go to town on. 

So Bombastic Loser assures his adoring sycophants this is a politically motivated witch hunt while DeSantis is rattling on and on about the weaponization of the Department of Justice while demanding to know why Clinton, Biden, and Pence aren't being indicted but not exactly defending what Feckless did. Instead, he was playing outta both sides of his mouth...for a change.

The rhetoric, however, does not compare apples to apples....it compares apples to space rocks. There is no sentient comparison to be made. I mean really? Just how dumb are We, the People?

Wait. Don't answer that.

Here's the primary difference:
President Biden and former VP Pence provided access to homes and offices; any papers found were returned without question. At no time did either of them attempt to hide or destroy documents. Feckless, however, played musical storage with dozens of boxes, instructing a variety of people to move things around. In the Washington Post, Devlin Barrett addresses that very scenario:
Notably, however, the indictment does not charge Trump with the illegal retention of any of the 197 documents he returned to the archives.  
That shows that if Trump had simply returned all the classified documents he had, he probably never would have been charged with any crimes, said Robert Mintz, a former federal prosecutor.   
“This is not a case about what documents were taken, it’s about what former president Trump did after the government sought to retrieve those documents,” said Mintz, who noted that willful-retention cases often hinge on how much evidence prosecutors can find that a person deliberately hid material or refused to give it back.
Let's be real clear about the indictments: they are the product of the Department of Justice.  As Heather Cox Richardson, commentator extraordinaire, observed:

Still, the indictment came not from Smith, but from a federal grand jury of ordinary American citizens in Florida who reviewed evidence and determined that there was probable cause to believe that Trump committed crimes and should be tried for them. Trump’s defenders are trying to blur this reality by saying it was Biden who charged Trump, when it was really the members of a grand jury. 
In case you don't remember this from 7th grade civics, under federal law, a federal grand jury consists of 23 people who must be randomly selected from a fair cross section of the community in the location where the grand jury will convene. Names of potential jurors are drawn at random from lists of voters. The people whose names were chosen, unless exempt or excused, must appear before the court. In the most recent challenge to Feckless Loser's delusional post-presidential actions, that location was Miami, Florida, home state of DeSantis, ergo, not a foregone conclusion it was hijacked by Democrats.  

This is what I'll tell you, two things can be true at the same time: One, the DOJ and the FBI have lost all credibility with the American people, and getting rid of just senior management isn't going to be enough to fix this. This is going to take a complete overhaul, and we have to do that," Haley said during an interview on Fox News.

Two, the second thing can also be true. If this indictment is true, if what it says is actually the case, President Trump was incredibly reckless with our national security," she said. 
What's remarkable about her statement is that it recognizes there is a problem with musical storage for national secrets, and it comes from a place one would hope fellow Republicans might respect. I'm in no way a fan or supporter of Ms. Haley, but she makes a good point. That she's willing to say something like this is remarkable considering the shape and length of the noses stuck up Feckless Loser's butt. She goes on to say:

More than that, I’m a military spouse, my husband’s about to deploy this weekend. This puts all of our military men and women in danger if you are going to talk about what our military is capable of or how we would go about invading or doing something with one of our enemies. And if that’s the case, it’s reckless, it’s frustrating and it causes problems.

Meanwhile, in Tulsa, Oklahoma, their Governor Kevin Stitt, a DeSantis supporter, called the indictment a "political tool to take out an opponent," adding "The weaponization of the federal government is very, very concerning for Americans and Oklahomans." 

Hey! This misogynistic pyscho-ceramicist is in Oklahoma! Notice how he doesn't mention the weaponization of medicine or Christianization of his state. Nah, why would he? Frankly, if I lived in Oklahoma, chas v'chalilah (heaven forbid!) weaponization of the federal government would be pretty low on my list of things to worry about. Constitution? We don' need no stinking Constitution.

Recent polls indicate a majority of Americans believe Feckless behaved in a manner inconsistent with the protocols for national security. HOWEVER, and isn't there always one of those...the majority of GOP folks polled may have had a problem with musical document storage, but also think the DoJ is a political arm of the White House operated and controlled by President Biden pulling Merrick Garland's string. Funny thing is that they didn't think that when Barr was the attorney general and Trump was loud and clear in public about what he wanted/expected the DoJ to do. 

Does anyone besides me see a disconnect there?

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, why am I worried about this indictment?

Because the spin equates the DoJ to a banana republic-type government where at the president's discretion, political enemies are silenced. The disconnect between this...and say Richard Nixon's demise is that in 1972, Democrats and Republicans pretty much agreed that the President's actions were an obstruction to the investigation of the burglary of the Democratic National Headquarters. Both parties viewed that very apparent attempt to undermine that investigation as a threat to our democracy. Whether or not you were a Nixon supporter wasn't an issue; the president's actions were illegal and that cast significant doubt on his ability to serve out his second term. 

What it wasn't was exposing classified military and security to an uncleared number of people. The documents withheld were not in any way protected from public access, and there was enough hard evidence to conclude they had been moved around to shield them from discovery. In an analysis of the 37 indictments, NBC news reported the following, including a citation of an earlier report by CNN:

From NBC
Chief among the examples prosecutors lay out in the indictment of Trump sharing classified intelligence with unauthorized individuals took place during a July 2021 sit-down he had with an author and a publisher for an upcoming book on his presidency. Two Trump staffers without proper clearances were also in the room for the discussion.
 
While the indictment does not name the author and publisher, it does include a transcript of a conversation Trump had with the two about a classified military document described as a “plan of attack” against another country. That conversation, which stems from an audio recording, was reported earlier Friday by CNN.
 
“Secret. This is secret information,” Trump said. “Look, look at this."

From CNN 

The recording indicates Trump understood he retained classified material after leaving the White House, according to multiple sources familiar with the investigation. On the recording, Trump’s comments suggest he would like to share the information but he’s aware of limitations on his ability post-presidency to declassify records, two of the sources said.

In the end, there is overwhelming evidence that Feckless Loser not only ignored requests to return classified documents, he shared them with others without security clearance of any kind. 

Did he put the United States at risk? Absolutely.

But unless someone comes up with concrete proof/evidence/photographs that he sold our military secrets to the highest bidder, a significant portion of We, the People, will continue to believe this  witch hunt is orchestrated by the Democratic Party. 

Considering the militia-minded cadre that supports this guy, you gotta wonder why they don't see this as a national security problem. Congressclown Clay Higgins (R-Louisiana) tweeted this after the indictments were handed down:


Jeff Sharlet of  The Atlantic provided an excellent analysis of the tweet:

Note that Higgins begins with “President Trump,” not “former President Trump.” That Trump is still president has been a Higgins claim since at least 2021, when he mourned Trump’s Facebook ban in a post of his own describing Joe Biden as “iPOTUS” controlled by a “cabal.” Cabal is a QAnon term; iPOTUS appears to be Higgins’s own coinage, possibly for “imposter POTUS.”
 
“This is a perimeter probe from the oppressors,” Higgins’s tweet continues. The “oppressors,” of course, are members of the “cabal,” the tyranny decried by Three Percenters. Higgins has also referred to them as “Leviathan.” A perimeter probe is reconnaissance meant to determine your force’s strength.
 
“Hold,” Higgins writes. Another way of putting that is “Stand back and stand by.” The term rPOTUS translates as “the real president, Trump.” “rPOTUS has this” will be read by some QAnon adherents—and the many more Trumpists who don’t identify with Q even as its mythology has seeped into standard GOP rhetoric—as “Trust the plan.” Trump has it under control. Everything is happening for a reason. “God wins.”
 
“Buckle up”: Get ready. Remember what rPOTUS said in January after he stood for the J6 Prison Choir’s hit single “Justice for All”? That “2024 is the final battle.”
 
Then comes the phrase that mystified those who don’t spend their weekends “training” for insurrection or doomsday: “1/50K know your bridges.” 1:50,000 is a scale used on military maps. It’s also used on some U.S. Geological Survey maps, largely in relation to areas surrounding military installations. Know your bridges isn’t jargon or metaphor. For the militia-minded, it means knowing the approaches to your location—especially bridges, which can be seized, much the way Canadian far-right truckers blockaded the Ambassador Bridge to Detroit in 2022.  And it can mean more than that. The liberal nightmare of militias marching on government institutions—realized on January 6—doesn’t match the fascist fantasy of retreating to strongholds. That is, of closing off counties under the authority of the “Constitutional sheriffs,” a popular movement that devolves—or escalates—from states’ rights to counties’ rights, with sheriffs empowered to enforce or not enforce laws as they see fit.
 
“Rock steady calm,” writes Higgins. The moment, he is saying, is not now. Not yet. Hold your fire. Hold the line. Necessary rhetoric, because Higgins and the whole Freedom Caucus put together don’t have the status to actually summon the armed masses into action. So Higgins—like Andy Biggs, like Kari Lake, like Trump himself—alludes to the threat that fascism may yet pose. It’s a tidy maneuver: They spook liberals into mocking them. That mockery feeds their own base.
On June 10th, Congressclown Clay backed off, tweeting:



Just so you know: Congressclown Higgins was US Army, a former cop, and is now a militia supporter. He's been associated with a variety of far-right groups, including the Three Percenters. And you wanna good laugh? Here's his congressional committee assignments:
  • Committee on Homeland Security
    • Subcommittee on Border Security, Facilitation and Operations (Ranking Member)
    • Subcommittee on Emergency Preparedness, Response and Recovery
  • Committee on Oversight and Reform
    • Subcommittee on National Security
    • Subcommittee on Civil Rights and Civil Liberties
Really? Really.

And you're wondering why I think the indictments are flawed? Doesn't matter if they're true or not. They're gonna be politicized and weaponized. It's what the far right fringe does best.


The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week
If you're driving in a smokey area where the air quality sucks,
use the AIR RECIRCULATE setting in the car.
It will slow the amount of irritants being sucked into the car.

Monday, June 5, 2023

Ear Worms

As I wrap up the annual eight weeks of feeling like shit, the one thing I don't feel like is writing. What's different about this one is that I have ear-worms for two songs that are from long after Ziggy stopped singing (badly, I'm sorry to admit) but lyrics that he would've appreciated. Maybe because the actual yahrzeit falls today, Monday, that makes me a bit sadder than usual. Couldn't tell you. Instead, I'm posting a link to each song and the lyrics. It's about all I can handle at this frozen moment in time.
Dan Reynolds
 WRECKED   
Performed by Imagine Dragons 
Songwriters: Benjamin Arthur Mckee / Daniel Coulter Reynolds / Daniel Wayne Sermon / Daniel James Platzman 
Days pass by and my eyes stay dry, and I think that I'm okay'Til I find myself in conversation, fading awayThe way you smile, the way you walkThe time you took to teach me all that you had taughtTell me, how am I supposed to move on?
These days I'm becoming everything that I hateWishing you were around but now it's too lateMy mind is a place that I can't escape your ghost
Sometimes I wish that I could wish it all awayOne more rainy day without youSometimes I wish that I could see you one more dayOne more rainy day
Oh, I'm a wreck without you hereYeah, I'm a wreck since you've been goneI've tried to put this all behind meI think I was wrecked all alongYeah, I'm a wreck
They say that the time will heal it, the pain will go awayBut everything, it reminds me of you and it comes in wavesWay you laugh when your shoulders shookThe time you took to teach me all that you had taughtTell me, how am I supposed to move on?
These days I'm becoming everything that I hateWishing you were around but now it's too lateMy mind is a place that I can't escape your ghost
Sometimes I wish that I could wish it all awayOne more rainy day without youSometimes I wish that I could see you one more dayOne more rainy day
Oh, I'm a wreck without you hereYeah, I'm a wreck since you've been goneI've tried to put this all behind meI think I was wrecked all along
These days when I'm on the brink of the edgeRemember the words that you saidRemember the life you ledYou'd say, "Oh, suck it all up, don't get stuck in the mudThinkin' of things that you should have done"I'll see you again, my loved one
I'll see you again, my loved oneYeah, I'm a wreck
I'll see you again, my loved one
Yeah, I'm a wreck without you here (loved one)Yeah, I'm a wreck since you've been gone (I'm a wreck since you've been gone)I've tried to put this all behind meI think I was wrecked all along (I'm a wreck)Yeah, I'm a wreck
Sometimes I wish that I could wish it all away but I can'tOne more rainy day without you (one more rainy day)Sometimes I wish that I could see you one more day but I can't

One more rainy day 

 
Lewis Capaldi
Performed by Lewis Capaldi 
Songwriters: Benjamin Kohn / Lewis Capaldi / Peter Kelleher          / Samuel Roman / Tom Barnes 
I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me
This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy
I need somebody to heal
Somebody to know
Somebody to have
Somebody to hold
It's easy to say
But it's never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain
Now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to
This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you
Now, I need somebody to know
Somebody to heal
Somebody to have
Just to know how it feels
It's easy to say but it's never the same
I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape
Now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes
I fall into your arms
I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around
For now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
But now the day bleeds
Into nightfall
And you're not here
To get me through it all
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved
I let my guard down
And then you pulled the rug
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Unexpectedly, in the world of pop music, neither song is about a break-up. WRECKED is the response to the untimely death of Mr. Reynold's sister-in-law with whom he was very close and SOMEONE YOU LOVED is about the loss of Mr. Capaldi's grandmother. Both are about the loss of partnership, not romantic love, which may be why both songs make me cry. A lot. 

Sometimes, music helps. Sometimes, hearing someone else share the pain of loss through words and notes makes one feel a tad less alone. It's like grief and widowhood in general: you cannot predict what will touch you, move you, or even make you cry when it comes on the car radio. 

I promise to be more pithy, sarcastic, and generally upbeat (?) next week. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week
You are allowed to be sad.
You are allowed to grieve
You are most certainly allowed to miss another person.
You don't need permission from anyone but yourself. 

Monday, May 29, 2023

Talking to Headstones

Because I occasionally have masochistic tendencies, I spent some time earlier today reading old WP episodes from Memorial Day. The date might change, but Memorial Day is always on a Monday, ergo, it's always a blog-writing day. 
by Theophilos Hatzimihail

But this day is just a little different. It's the 570th anniversary of the fall of Constantinople, the seat of the Byzantine Empire to the Turks of the Ottoman Empire, thereby radically changing the landscape of Asia Minor. It is also the 70th anniversary of the day Sir Edmund Hillary reached the summit of Mount Everest, even if that news was't spread until a few days later. 

And it would have been Ziggy's 70th birthday. 

That seemed like a milestone kinda number. I celebrated on my own with a blackened steak (done stovetop in a cast iron pan since I cannot have a grill on my mirpeset,) fresh corn, and a beer. I did not make an angel food cake with chocolate frosting. I wasn't in the mood. 

I wasn't in the mood for much. 

Since his yahrzeit, on the Hebrew calendar, is next Sunday night, I went over to the cemetery; he's still there. 

Last week, I finally made the arrangements to lock down the plot next to him and give up my space at Beth David. I guess I won't be watching the ponies at Belmont because I'll be spending eternity in the Land of Passive Aggressive. Assuming that when I do leave the building, Jews will still be living in these here United States. No guarantee about that. 

At the moment, both Ziggy and I would both be 70. We got married when we were both 25. See, I married my best friend. Long before we were a couple, we were buddies and that saved us many times over. Life wasn't always smooth (as lots of you can attest) but somehow, we managed to muddle through. He died when we were both 56. I miss him. I will always miss him. 

It is what it is. I just don't have to like it. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o' the Week
If you love someone, tell them. 
One day, you might just be talking to a headstone.

Monday, May 22, 2023

The Grandpa Moishe School of Gin: Plan Ahead

My Grandpa Moishe's yahrzeit began at sundown tonight. He left the building 44 years ago and a day doesn't go by without my wishing I could tell him something or other. He was my dad's BFF and mine, too. He started married life driving a horse and delivery wagon for Blum Folding Box where he would work for the rest of his life...for a long time with my dad. Several summers were spent at Blum where I could drive my dad crazy and my Grandpa to lunch. But that's not why I am invoking Grandpa Moishe's name. I am more interested in one of the great lessons I learned from Grandpa, a lesson that continues to be at the center of my thinking:  Always Plan Ahead

Life lessons were taught during our endless games of gin. I was a card sharp at 6. Playing gin with Grandpa was an ongoing event. We never kept score, we never knocked, but we played to the death. I am a graduate of the Grandpa Moishe School of Gin....confound and confuse your opponent until they can't think straight but closely watch the second and third throw, then the six and the seventh. He believed that everyone had a tell and exploiting the tell was the surest way to win. (I'm not sure that's really true, but it did work on making Ziggy, my grad school dorm friend, crazy....crazy enough to want to marry me, but that's a story for another day)

That lesson is one rarely taught, at least not to those clowns who hold elected office in both houses of Congress. In all this debt ceiling brouhaha, I have yet to hear the GOP side of what to do when they slash the social welfare net. Back in October of 2013, during another debt ceiling debacle, I wrote:
The shutdown of this government coupled with the pending refusal to service the debt ceiling is not exactly a covert attempt to topple this nation. Just like in Libya and Egypt, the cabal is plotting to overthrow the president and not necessarily with an election. When the shutdown fails, they will attempt to impeach him. They will attempt to do whatever it takes to get President Obama out of office. They assume they will wrest power from whomever, but here’s the thing: once they have it, what are they gonna do with it?
If you wanna play scary for Halloween tricks, try thinking about this for a while. In all their talk of repealing Obamacare, did you ever hear them mention an alternative?
In all their talk about killing programs like SNAP and WIC, have you ever heard them propose what to do with low wage earners who can no longer afford a roof AND food?
In all their talk about illegal immigration, have you ever heard them discuss who is going to do the agricultural scutt work that Americans don’t wanna do?
And in all their talk about job creation, have you ever heard them mention what kind of jobs they’re creating while they’re shipping more and more manufacturing overseas?
If the Republicans want to negotiate, they’d better start showing up with plans in public. Let We, the People decide who has the better long range vision for this nation.
My dad, a staunch Republican, read that episode and immediately called. Of course, he called me alarmist...which he often did...but then told me I was right about no plans ever being laid out to deal with the havoc default would wreck. We had a long talk about this, and he invoked his dad's philosophy. "They don't look ahead, much less plan ahead." He went on to explain that his father believed that governments rarely planned ahead; they only waited for disasters so they could fix them to make themselves look good. 

Right now, that jackass Speaker McCarthy is only interested in keeping his job. He will sell out most of We, the People in order to do that. His ultra-right wing cabal dangles the speakership over his head like some kind of misanthropic Damocles' Sword, waiting to slice him in half should he wander from the party line. His position has nothing to do with what is best in terms of good and welfare for the We, the People, it's only about retaining power; the rest of us be damned. 

I suspect a deal will be reached in the next 24-48 hours because that's how brinkmanship plays out. Whole sectors of America will be screwed while others with have fatter wallets.  And do not think this is between President Biden and just Congress. Governor De Santis, a congenital idiot at best, threw in his 2¢ on May 9th, saying:
I think the idea that you would just raise [the debt ceiling] without anything is ridiculous. And we were $21 trillion in debt like five years ago, and now we’re $31 trillion in debt. And I think Joe Biden’s position is you just keep spending like no end and eventually it’s going to solve itself. 
What they’re spending now is significantly more than what Obama’s budget his last year of President projected for this year, and even with what they’re doing to reduce. So I just find it ridiculous that you would have Biden taking the position that there should be no reforms whatsoever to what the government is spending. I think what they’re doing [hard-line position taken by House Speaker Kevin McCarthy]  to me is common sense. I don’t know why you would want to continue going the direction they were going. 
Eventually, this is all going to cause major, major problems, you haven’t seen, necessarily, the crisis that some people predicted. But I don’t see how you could go on this trajectory and not see something bad.

Huh? Did anyone notice he completely skipped over the deficit increase during Feckless Loser's administration? As if the GOP actually helped things? Even Charles Durning's SIDESTEP was clearer than this.

But it keeps coming down to the same set of issues I've been harping about for year. If you want to cut programs to save money, what are you putting in their place?

Or are you really expecting people to die off because they cannot afford to live?

This is not a specious question. IF you are reading this AND you are a GOP supporter, point me in the direction of what comes next when the social safety net is gone. I sure can't find it. I can find bleak references to cutting spending, but not who's gonna take care of grandma at home while everyone is at work. Grandma can't afford a nursing home or private care to stay in her own home, so it's either your house or a box under a bridge.  

These are not the BIG problems that CongressClown McCarthy wants to talk about. These are the small, everyday problems most of us face on a daily basis. I did. I had my father-in-law with me for the last five years of his life, but I was lucky; he was in okay shape until the day his heart stopped. One of my friends, however, is a prisoner in her own home because their household income on paper doesn't qualify for help with nursing home costs OR in home health aides for her rapidly deteriorating husband. She can't work, she can't leave her husband alone even for an hour, and she pays exorbitant fees for someone to come in while she runs to the grocery store or drug store. Don't get me started on what she pays for meds for him. They will run out of money eventually, sooner if there is no Social Security. They thought they had planned ahead...insurance, 401Ks, IRAs, and Social Security. But their spending has increased exponentially...and not on vacations. They just downsized again in hopes of saving energy bills and other expenses. Debilitating illness does not discriminate against those who can and cannot afford reasonable care. 

But the GOP wants to cut Social Security and Medicare to save costs without any sort of plan in the wings.  At what cost to We, the People?

No one holds their feet to the fire on this. And if We, the People don't start demanding that they come forward with their health care plans, drug plans, and affordable housing plans, We, the People are just as guilty as they are. 

2 Clowns McCarthy and Graves
When asked what it would take to break the apparent negotiating deadlock, Speaker McCarthy said, "June 1st." I think that means the US will have to default for both sides to negotiate. You gotta wonder what they're planning for?

Three playground bullies, Congress Clowns McCarthy, Graves (R-La), and McHenry (R-N.C.), holding an entire country hostage. How much more disgusting can it get?

As usual, silence implies consent. Try to remember that as you begin to plan ahead for your alternative futures.

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

Take a hard look around your present circumstances.
What happens to your quality of life if there is a default and the market crashes?
Do you have a contingency plan in place?
You should. 

Monday, May 15, 2023

The Road to Gilead...

After witnessing the spectacle of two morally ambiguous humans being crowned king and queen in England, I suppose the increase in evangelical mockery of all things Christian should come as no big shock. Clearly, the roots of the church are disintegrating on both sides of the pond in favor of personal preference as the rule. 

Adam Peters
This past week, Kansas led the pack in religious hate as state politics. Seems the chairman of the Ellis County GOP, Adam Peters, [not the football guy] presented a 5-point plan to make Kansas into a conservative sanctuary. According to the The Kansas Reflector:
From the meeting’s opening prayer to the ending prayer, a divine calling was made clear: Republicans must purge the state of anyone who disagrees with their extremist positions on the LGBTQ community, reproductive health care, education and race.
“If you can make it hostile to that group of people, that small sliver of society, and have them move elsewhere, that does a huge amount to shut this down,” Peters said. “It’s both sides of it: You need to attract the good people here, and you also need to make it clear to the bad people, this isn’t gonna go well for you.”
 Yeah, I know; it's Kansas. But folks, they are not alone on this road. 

Nowhere in the Constitution of these here United States are the words separation of church and state ever mentioned. Nope. Nowhere. What the Constitution does say in the First Amendment is:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
But the writers are not done yet. In Article Six, they add:

All Debts contracted and Engagements entered into, before the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be as valid against the United States under this Constitution, as under the Confederation.

This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding.

The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be Required as a Qualification To any Office or public Trust under the United States.

That one line is gonna be important to remember, because right now, as I type, religious tests are happening all over this country. Remember what Adam Peters said? 
You need to attract the good people here.
And how do you know who "the good people" are? You start with some kind of ideological litmus test. You vet people for their positions and beliefs. And if they don't line up with the party line, you drive them out. No matter how that couch that litmus test, it's an establishment of their religion and the rest of us are supposed to sign up. 


What's next? The stake for non-believers? 
Gilead, here we come!


Abortion restriction legislation is a phenomenal litmus test for the conservative movement in America because it drives out the professionals first. Medical personnel who work with women's reproductive health are leaving states where they face murder convictions for helping women in medical emergencies. We're not talking about abortions here...we're talking about ectopic pregnancies, placental abnormalities, fetuses incompatible with life...that sort of thing...and the mother's health be damned. Once you drive out the medical experts, those who can afford to follow will, leaving the poorest of the poor to suffer the consequences of unavailable maternal health care. Women and children will die...sacrificed on an altar of some sort of evangelical purity church. 

But it won't stop there. LGBTQ and Trans families, unable to get health care, will face their kids being taught their family is evil and sinful. Those people, too, will leave the states where they no longer feel safe from vigilante actions to protect the children who will no longer be safe in school. 

Colleges and universities will be next to suffer the effects of litmus testing when the state government, as Florida did today, enact laws that ban the teaching of inclusion. As explained quite clearly in AXIOS, DeSantis signs bill banning DEI degrees at Florida colleges
Gov. Ron DeSantis signed legislation Monday defunding diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) programs at Florida's public colleges and allowing the state to remove programs, majors and minors that teach "identity politics." ...

SB 266 prohibits the state's colleges and universities from spending any state or federal dollars on programs and campus activities that advocate for DEI policies or social activism.

  • The restriction, however, carves out an exception for campus activities required for "compliance with federal laws or regulations" and retaining institutional accreditation.
  • It also creates a mechanism for the state to review existing college courses, majors and minors, and remove ones with lessons "based on theories that systemic racism, sexism, oppression, and privilege" are inherent in the U.S. 

Really?  Just what is the criteria for living in your world, Governor DeSantis?

Yet, there are some pockets of reason. There are places where women are slowly coming out to say "NO." Yeah, it's slow, but as hospitals with maternity services dwindle and women no longer have safe places to give birth, much less get prenatal or neonatal care, the crisis intensifies. 

Senators Sandy Senn, Katrina Shealy, Mia McLeod,
Penry Gustafson & Margie Bright Matthews.
Credit...
Photo: Audra Melton for The New York Times
Women in state houses will find themselves dealing with other women who cannot get care, and all that pro-life bull-oney will suddenly be confronted with the significant rise in maternal death. 
In South Carolina, five women, the only women in their  state senate, have put aside party differences to speak out for the rights of women in their state. Known as the Sister Senators, they have refused to allow the passage of a near-total abortion ban.  From the NY Times:
 
“I don’t think the Republican Party saw us coming, because we didn’t do what they thought we were going to do,” Ms. Shealy, the senior member of the group, said in an interview with the other women around a table in her State House office. “They thought we would do just what they told us to do.”

"Women and their doctors and their husbands or partners should be making these decisions; 170 legislators in the state of South Carolina don’t need to be making these choices."   -  SC Republican State Senator Katrina Shealy 

I cannot see mothers and grandmothers standing idly by as their young women are denied access to prenatal care, face uterus-losing complications, bleeding out from miscarriages when treatment was denied, and watching babies die who are born with such severe abnormalities that their very existence is incompatible with life. 

Never mind WWJD. Try WWMD?  What would Mary do? I'm not even Christian but my Christian friends who hold the Sacred Heart of Mary in such high esteem cannot possibly believe that she would let babies suffer and women die unnecessarily.

Or do they? 

I don't know. 

What I do know is that all these prohibitions being signed into law are not for the benefit of We, The People, much less We, the Female People. They are for the benefit of a small group of small minded people who believe with their heart and soul....not to mention wallet...that their way is the only right way and the rest of us should take a hike outta the country. (And that includes the Indigenous Peoples who were here before them, and who count even less.)

As a side note, following Adam Peter's model of Righteous America, not too many regular folks are gonna be left to do all the menial tasks because they're gonna be too sick or dead without health care and all those socialist programs his kind hates and wants to cut. Wives will be stay-at-home perennially pregnant moms, but will a man's income increase enough to keep food on the table and a roof overhead? And who's gonna pay the medical bills when insurance is out of reach? Maybe it won't matter because environmental regulations will be repealed and the earth, itself, will become increasingly dead, unable to support crops. Let's not even mention air quality.

It's all interconnected. Do away with one aspect, and the building is weakened. Do away with a few more...well....you can all guess the outcome. 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch.....my admiration and thanks go to the Sister Senators of South Carolina. And to North Carolina Congressman Jeff Jackson for his blunt, transparent posts about how this government really works. These folks are unicorns. Go find the unicorns in your local, state, and federal government. Encourage them. Volunteer for them. We're gonna need them. BIG time.


The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

And speaking of Jeff Jackson....this is worth watching:



Say what you will, Jeff Jackson, 
freshman Democrat from North Carolina
 does the best videos. 
Watching him makes me believe 
there are sane people out there. 
I love this guy.