Orphans

Well, that a was close call. I sat down at my desk in the new study...and immediately the modem went out. 

Being just enough of a geek to know where to look first, it took me all of 10 seconds to figure out spaghetti installer had done yet another fine job of not caring for the wires. Now, how do you get to be an installer of cable stuff and NOT know how to care for the wires? I guess his non-stop cartoon watching while installing got in the way of actually paying attention to what he was doing. It was a scary 10 seconds....but clearly I am back up and running.

And speaking of up and running, I'm about to replace my rusty, trusty Dell laptop....with a new Dell laptop much to the annoyance of the Junior Son who thinks I should just buy a MacBook and get it over with. For about a third of what a MacBook would cost me, I'm getting a 15.6" screen, Intel Core i5 6th generation Inspirion with 8GB memory and a 1TB hard drive. And I have more than enough random gift cards to cover most of it. Now, I happen to be writing this on my Mac desktop which I love to bits. I have been running Macs since 1989...the year we moved into the house. I am one of the few people you will ever run into who could program in HyperCard with ease. Yeah. I could. And did. I could give that Siegel guy a run for his money some days. But the MacBook isn't for these little hands. Nope. I hate the keyboard. it's just the wrong configuration for me. So a Dell it's gonna be. 

A year ago, we moved our parents to Minnesnowta. Eight months ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Five months ago, our Dad passed away on Thanksgiving. A month ago, our Mom passed away the week before Passover.  Three weeks ago, I moved into my new house. Let's just say it's been a busy year.

I hope no one minds, but I'm taking a break from the bullshit of politics this week. Surprisingly, at least to me, this has been a tougher week than I anticipated. The stress of the move does deserve a mention, and the stress of grokking the idea that now, my brother and I are now orphans pretty much blindsided me. 

It's weird, I suppose, at our advanced, senior-citizenesque ages to call ourselves orphans, but we are. Mom's dad died when she was 14, but it was when Grandma Bessie passed away so unexpectedly right after my wedding, that Mom shifted my world view a bit. On the day of Grandma's funeral, mom told me:

Now I am an orphan. I've always had Ma beside me after my father left me so long ago, but now she's gone and I am without parents. I am an orphan. 

me and BBB

My big brother and I lost our parents in a very short span of time; the world has changed for both of us, and we will each process this however we process stuff. But it's hard to fully grasp the idea that the 'rents aren't on the other end of the phone. I find myself extremely thankful that BBB and I have finally found common ground. Oh, we weren't estranged or anything as dramatic as that, we were just very different people. Over the course of the last seven years, the length of time since Ziggy had the poor form to die, we figured out we were going to have to band together to deal with our parent's aging issues. And band together we have. Turns out, we're good partners. We were able to use our strengths, agree on the big things, and work through much of this with the folks. Being united is good. No, that's not it. It is great. 

Mom used to worry about BB and me. She and Dad used to worry we were so different we'd never be close. These last few years, and most especially this last one, proved their worries to be groundless. And she said so. Many times. I am glad all this happened while the 'rents were still alive to see us all coalesce.

A year is not a long time, but.....

In packing up a house, one throws away a lot of stuff. One decides what one will carry forward. It's not just the physical stuff; there's a lotta other baggage that gets sifted, sorted, and redistributed. I am doing that now; I need to lighten the load. For the first time in my entire life, I am the only one who gets to answer these questions. There is no one left to whom I must answer. 

Exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time. I'll figure it out. I always do. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

It's never too early to start throwing stuff away.