An Open Letter To Senators Klobuchar and Franken

Dear Senators Klobuchar and Franken

In the last few weeks, it's become increasingly clear that this nation is now under total Republican control and as such, we can only stand down on some of our more liberal ideology. I'm of the mind that perhaps it's time to think in the same direction as the GOP legislators. We must address equal rights in reproductive activity.  I know this is an issue dear to all our hearts, and perhaps it's time for us blue-niks to come around to red-state stands.

Would you be so kind as to draft a bill addressing the immorality and illegality of masturbatory emissions? Masturbation is a voluntary action that leads to life-giving sperm dying horrid deaths without completing their mission to fertilize an egg. 

9 And Onan knew that the seed would not be his; and it came to pass when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest he should give seed to his brother. 10. And the thing which he did was evil in the sight of the LORD; and He slew him also.                           Genesis, 38:8-9

This intentional slaying of the unborn, even in the semenal stage, cannot be ignored. No man has the right to decide which child will be born, just as no woman has the right to determine which of her children shall be born.

This is an equal rights and gender equality issue at its very core essence. 

In the spirit of protecting those equal rights, it's time to defund any office, institution, or health care provider that prescribes Viagra and Cialis as aids for recreational sexual intercourse. Providing those drugs encourages indiscriminate sexual relations outside those permitted by marriage. Additionally, condoms should no longer be sold OTC. A prescription for male contraceptive must be obtained from a licensed physician, and dispensed in monthly packets, four condoms in a pack. More than that might encourage reckless behavior. 

Just as the Bible says, sexual relations are for the advancement of humankind. Men who perform sexual acts must fully accept the outcome as desired by God. Preventing conception by condom or early withdrawal are on par with masturbatory emissions. 

Your records on equal rights are well known and well admired. It would be wonderful if you would put your weight behind a bill that would, once and for all, demand equal treatment in reproductive health. 

[You think I'm kidding?...only partly. We need a bill like this read into the record. What's good for the goose....]

Sincerely,

SJ Schwaidelson
the wifely person

And yes, I have sent this to both senators. 

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Meanwhile, back at the ranch....I spent the afternoon at a rather peaceful demonstration at the local office of Jason Lewis, our newly minted 2nd District CongressClown. Not that I had any high hopes for the guy after he answered my first letter to him with a stream of nonsense, but all we've been asking for since the election is a public Town Hall meeting. Clown Kline used to hold them on the phone where, if you asked a question that they vetted before you could ask it, he would give an answer to a completely different question, or he would hold public hearings on weekdays between 1:00 p.m. and 1:30 p.m. always at a senior center someplace remote. So, knowing that dog wasn't going to hunt again, we began asking for a public meeting the day after the election. He didn't win by a great margin, and yeah, the Independent candidate was the spoiler, but he won the election. 

Our chant: This is what democracy
looks like

That said, he has a duty, an obligation, a requirement to represent his entire constituency. If he chooses to continue to run away from the obligation, we will continue to stand in front of his office asking for nothing more than a town hall meeting. We're not asking for anything extrordinary; we are asking for a conversation. He's new at this job. We need to hear what he has to say as much he needs to hear what we have to say. He's Republican, but he's new and there is every possibility, however slim, that he is a centrist and will be interested in actually representing us. I'm not willing to give up on the whole process until we see how he acts and votes once he's doing real work. We are watching. 

Here's the real bottom line: we need to find the moderate Republicans and nurture them to stay at the center. We need them to know we won't skewer them if they show up and act like our representative and not some lock-step member of the Bannon Brigade. We're not asking them to change their stripes, we are looking to them to recognize the rest of us exist and we most certainly do have a voice....and a vote. 

Congressman Lewis, if you or your staff are reading this...you have a chance to redeem your disappearing act. That's all we ask. Talk to us.  We are your constituents, too.

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

Nothing make you feel younger or better than 

protesting at a peaceful demonstration.