Monday, November 20, 2017

Gropes, Conspiracies, and Senator Franken

Long, long ago, in a lifetime far, far away, Ziggy and I considered collaborating on a novel. This was during the unfortunate period when he decided he would move into my office and we could "share" things. After a week of, "Hey! Listen to this...." I told him if he didn't move out of my office by the time I got home from work the next day, I would never cook again and he would starve.

He moved back to his space in the living room. 

But there was that brief moment of collaborative consideration...long ago tucked into a drawer and forgotten.

Until this week when I found it. 

He called it CONSPIRACIES, but I referred to it as The Siegfried Follies. We used to laugh about it every once in a while, and we talked about it while he was dying. "Think you'll ever finish it?" he asked. "Finish it? Heck no! We barely started it!" I think he was hoping I would promise to take up the mantle. 

Until this week, I never thought I would. 

Ziggy always maintained nothing was a coincidence, that everything had a beginning, a middle, and an end, all of which was orchestrated by human intervention. So in this story, the protagonist, a guy name Dickens, is a mild-mannered insurance adjuster who goes to work every morning, does his job, and goes home to his wife and 2 kids every night. He has no friends at work to speak of, a couple of friends from his childhood whom he sees now and then, and some neighbors with whom he and his wife socialize. One day, his boss calls him into his office where the HR dude is waiting for him. The department secretary has reported him for sexual deviancy and says he has impregnated her. 

As the wheels are coming off his life, Dickens begins to think this is a diversionary tactic. And as the case against him progresses, it becomes increasingly clear to Dickens that this is a set up, that he is being used, and that while he is sitting in jail for an act he did not commit, there are dark powers afoot fanning this smokescreen. 

The plot was so complicated, I could never keep track of it. If Ziggy was here, he would be able to explain how every time Dickens' name was in the news and all the attention was focused on him, nefarious things happened. Every time the dark powers need to do something dreadful, they would toss another charge on this guy until he was charged with rape, sodomy, pedophilia, and embezzlement. 

I guess what I'm getting at is that right now, I think Ziggy would've said everything we have witnessed this past year has been a smokescreen, and every diversionary tactic has hidden a seriously nefarious event. 

What? Me worry?
I don't really give a flying fart in space if Roy Moore runs for the senate. If the people of Alabama wanna display their Confederate-flag-flying-Christian-values by sending a serial pedophile to congress, then let them. Who are the rest of us to tell them their version of family values is fucked-up beyond recognition and certain not WWJD?

Behind this brouhaha, in case you missed it, was the preliminary passage of the most vile tax reform bill that the congressional-confederacy-of-incredibly-moronic-dunces could come up with. 

While our revoltingly crass Feckless Leader is calling Kim Jung-un fat, he's repealing common sense regulations like not bringing elephant trophies into the country because he thinks no one will notice....well, usually he's right about those things, but this time he got caught with his pants around his ankles all the while he's tweeting about Franken but remains classically silent on ol' pedophile Moore. 

And ol' Feckless has gotta be dancing the cha-cha over all this sex stuff. Right up his teeny-tiny-tootsie-roll alley.

What should be a watershed moment of empowerment for women, when casting couches and desk-chases are finally being exposed and excised, is now a total joke ending with "me, too." The media glommed onto this circus and turned it into everyone's 15-minutes of fame. It's not about date rape or a staged photograph (imbecilic as that was,) it's about ME, ME, ME, ME, ME.

Well, people, guess what. You've sent women's empowerment back to the basement. You've turned it into a whiny, annoying, media circus with no teeth. You are making sure that a guy like Al Franken, who owned his behavior and stepped up the the line to claim it,  will be drummed out of public what good?

Yeah, go ahead and rag  on me for calling it like I see it, but too bad. I watch it all unravel and all I can think is that this is so tidily well orchestrated that all those ranting Democrats fell right into the trap. Instead of dealing with the real private jet and golf course tax loopholes... you are making sure that the men who have, over the course of time and awareness, become the allies, are now swept out with the real trash like Cosby or Weinstein.  Instead of recognizing that what was once tolerated cannot be tolerated any longer, we have a warlock hunt. Anyone with a penis and two hands is a suspected sexual predator.  My own personal boob grope was by another woman. And she's still out there, still outrageous, and people think she's wonderful. But she doesn't have a penis, so I guess it's  okay. Happy now?

Let's get something straight: this is not about blaming the victim. This is not about excusing bad behavior. This is not about tolerating harassment or abuse. This is about perspective. This is about recognizing the rules have changed and what was once considered "harmless," is not. This is also about someone owning his/her behavior and changing what needs to be changed. And it's about how to move forward. 

We, the People, were so busy being outraged by bullshit that the bigger, more dangerous picture, is hidden behind the smokescreen. Instead of confronting this administration over the planned de-funding of Medicare, we're jumping up and down about a fanny pat. Folks, there is a difference between jaywalking and vehicular homicide. Both are against the law. But are you gonna throw the jaywalker in jail for the rest of his/her life without possibility of parole?  For pity's sake, think past your outrage to what you are condemning this country to!

But getting back to my original, well orchestrated point. Folks, you have been setup. None of this outrage is a natural extension of bad behavior taken in context. This is yelling FIRE in a theater, then sitting back to watch the pandemonium. The timing is so impeccable...right after the Democratic victory in Virginia. Do I really need to post Charles During doing The Sidestep from Best Little Whorehouse in Texas again?

If you're a guy, can you say you never copped a feel or tried to get to 1st base? You would probably teach your sons that's just not done any more, but are you disqualified as a parent if that was what guys did back then? Or do you tell you sons, It was wrong and I shouldn't have done it, so don't you do it?

I am so tired of extremes. That is nothing more than another way NOT to deal with real issues. Keep it up if you want to see what's left of these here United States polarized into two camps of hate. Please get your big kid underwear on and start behaving like someone who cares for America more than they care for saying, "Me, Too."

As for Conspiracies? I don't know. I will have to see how this all plays out. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week
Make soup. 
Soup is always good during the winter. 


  1. Huzzah, WP. Thank you for speaking out and doing so with such frank, unabashed articulation. These very notions have been bouncing around among the neurons of gray matter, but in the sealed containment bunker of my cranium for I am a guy, I am an old, 1960s, Free Love white guy and in this Brave New World of hash tag ME TOO, I'd be branded #YOUTOO by the Brave New American Taliban of Morality just for uttering the words aloud, and they'd go through my drawers (both meanings) and surely will find a partial palm print on someone's fanny somewhere in my history. Then, it's good-bye career, good-bye friends, good-bye future friends, good-bye self-respect and any record of achievement. The first thing, the only thing seen will be the scarlet hashtag branded on my forehead, peering out from a scarlet berka. And, we'll all learn to curse the salacious Y chromosome in a Greek chorus of righteous Tweets from the sanctity of Twitterdom temples. — a reformed Cave Man.

  2. Any guy over the age of 50 who says he never copped a feel or patted a butt or kissed someone with neither permission nor warning is lying. It was all part of the times. Been there, experienced that, got the t-shirt. And we women survived it.

    Now that we are at zero tolerance for male behavior, we cannot change history. Al Franken is no serial abuser, like Mr. Pussy-Grabber in the Whitehouse, nor a pediophile, like Mr. Cornpone. He was a product of his times, who has since upgraded his own behavior.

    Enough! Susan's right: The righteous accounting of egregious behavior has now become somebody else's 15 minutes of fame over piddling things that were once the norm....

  3. Love you! Love you! Love you! I had a heated debate with a Wellesley girl over this. I totally agree that the collective is out of balance. I tried to explain that but some people don't want to see it. Sue, you are an amazing writer and thinker and I respect you to the moon and back! - XXOO

  4. Brava! I agree wholeheartedly. Franken is too good a guy to lose and it seems to me that what he did was regretful, yet was somewhat 'acceptable' at the time (to a degree). Huge diff btwn his actions and Weinsteins (women afraid for their jobs), Moore's (minors) etc.

  5. Poor Al. Karma's a bitch. The difference between the accusations against Al & Conyers or Al & Moore is huge, but the messaging is all that matters now especially after Pelosi misplayed the Conyers ouster. Throw Al overboard.
    I believe the Dems secretly want Moore to win so they can rail against him for the next six years and so he & Bannon can continue to blow up the Republican party.

  6. Hi there just wanted to give you a quick heads up and let you know a few of the pictures aren't loading correctly.
    I'm not sure why but I think its a linking issue.

    I've tried it in two different internet browsers and both show the same

    1. Please email more info. I’ve checked and have no problem.