What We Can and Cannot Do

Well, once again, it's the night before Kol Nidre, the eve of Yom Kippur. Instead of being at work today, I slept. Pretty much the third day in a row, felled by a lousy cold. Thankfully, I had already scheduled tomorrow, and of course, Wednesday off, but now I will need tomorrow to get my act together for atoning. 

I pretty much know who I pissed off this year, and I've tried to be more consistent with dealing with issues in a timely manner. There were some apologies accepted, others not so much. I worked to own my own behavior, good and bad, and face the unpleasant parts in short order. I dislike having things hanging over my head. I also know there is one apology, made with as much contrition as humanly possible, that will never be accepted. I won't go into the details; suffice it to say, I was wrong, I recognized I was wrong almost immediately, and I apologized at once. It wasn't enough.

We all own what comes out of our mouths and keyboards. If we said it or typed it, we own it. There is no spell-check defense for being an asshole verbally or in print. And the unrelenting instant response makes it way too easy to be just that kind of asshole...social media is a breeding ground, as we all know. The problem with tweeting-while-pooping is that the excreting of bodily waste seems to give us some sort of cosmic permission to excrete verbal waste at the same time. There should not be a correlation here, but.....

Today, the United States turned its back on a long standing alliance and threw an entire ethnic group under the tanks, not simply the bus. The abandonment of the Kurds says a lot to the rest of the world, none of it very nice. We, the People, have vacated our traditional place as staunch ally who can be trusted. That is no longer a given. We really are not who we once aspired to be. If we ever really were. Hard to say these days.

As individuals, there is little we can do to change the course of this country until the 2020 elections....if they happen. I'm not so sure. The deeper into the international maelstrom we sink, the more I fear for suspension of government. Feckless Leader intimates he will not leave office if he is not re-elected. Even as a joke, this scares me. He's coming to Minneapolis this week for a "rally." that scares me, too.

As I turn inward for the next two days, I will examine and re-examine the past year. I will look to see what I can do better. The forgiveness I will seek will be between me and the Holy One; the KBH (Kodesh Boruch He...or Hu..aka the Holy One) cannot forgive for things I've done to others. 

G'mar chatima tova: may you all be inscribed for a good, kind, and peaceful year. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

Fix what you can. Own what you can't. 

Find a way to make peace with yourself as well as others.