A Few Odds and Ends

the old Ner Tamid

I just tossed today's episode; it was dreadfully boring. Ergo, I don't have much to say at the moment. Which is not surprising because this is already a very busy week for me. Let's just say there's a lot of creamed herring involved. And a honey cake. And a new Ner Tamid...Eternal Light...for the Saide Chapel where we have minyan every weekday morning. Somehow, commissioning the new Ner Tamid was an almost Talmudic counterpoint to my work on THE DARKEST LIGHT.

A blog post for The Times of Israel had to get out today. Of course, I'm writing about the documentary, but this time, I'm sharing some of my feelings about the process itself. To be honest, I'm still grappling with some of the issues because I'd never really dealt with them before. 

Knowing Carlebach’s music was not an if; it was everywhere. There was something unsettling about the rhapsodic joy in his niggunim or the soulfulness of his slower tunes. Psalms, sacred words to be sung at sacred moments, set to his music left me with an unsettled sense I could not fully articulate. A space at the center of me recognized what happened but did not dwell on it. I became viscerally angered every time I heard him regaled as a saint, a tzaddik, or a sage. He was none of those things; he was a pedophile and serial molester of women.

Instead, he was revered, celebrated, and idolized.  ...

...The #MeToo movement was already in full swing when the filmmaker Simon Mendes found me through some of my writing. I had long hoped Carlebach would be included in the famous offenders hall of shame. He was not. Finally, a chance to tell the whole story. I was hesitant at first, but oh, so relieved someone was gonna shine a light into that dark, elusive hole.

I am constantly asked if I want the music to go completely away? Not really. It’s really too late for that.  It’s catchy, it’s well-known, even my grandson sings Carlebach songs not knowing they set my teeth on edge…and I’m not mentioning that to an 8-year-old. Let him sing AM YISROEL CHAI to his heart’s content. Yeah, there’s a dichotomy there, but that’s a me problem.

When all of us who were molested are gone, I’m pretty sure the tunes will still be heard in shuls everywhere.

Simon Beychok-Mendes

I really think that at the end of it all, that's how I feel. The music will go one whether we want it to or not. The film is getting great reviews, we are getting lots of invitations to show at film festivals. Simon, our terrific director, is getting singled out for lots of kudos. Never having done the documentary thing before, I am blown away by all of this, yet none of it is really a surprise. The film is just that good, and Simon is an incredibly gifted storyteller. 

And this is not the end of the road for me with this team. I've signed on to research another documentary with them and right now, I am completely buried in research...and loving every minute of it. I suppose it's a bit odd starting a new career at my advanced age. But not really; at least not for me. I want to reinvent myself every chance I get between now and the grave. I want to keep doing. Keep learning. Keep pushing my own envelope. The really funny thing? If Ziggy was here, he'd be rooting me on. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

I solemnly promise to let you all know where and when 

THE DARKEST LIGHT will be shown in your area

as soon as the calendar firms up. 

It's all very exciting. 

I'm Glad I Went To San Francisco

This past weekend  I was in the city by the bay for the premiere of THE DARKEST LIGHT at the San Francisco Jewish Film Festival. This is an important event in the land of film festivals and, since this is a first for me, I was wrapped up tight and nervous. I shouldn't have been. The film was well received and that we are deliriously happy about it.

The festival, founded in 1980, is the oldest and largest festival of its kind.  The parent organization, Jewish Film Institute, is a hugely important incubator for Jewish filmmakers, with labs, grants and residency programs to develop new talent. The festival is equally important in bringing new films and film makers into the light. How a film is received by both audiences and juries is crucial in determining how much exposure a film will get. 

For our exceptionally talented director, Simon Mendes, there was a lot riding on outcome. We are hoping to make it into a whole bunch of festivals across the country. The success of this film will impact funding and exposure for anything he does next. This is important stuff in a period when Jews are routinely denied access and exposure, where Jewish voices are being threatened with imposed silence. And this film, one that deals with pedophilia; is exceptionally important. Women, especially young girls often lack agency; their stories are poo-pooed aside and all too often ignored. Girls grown up wrapped in silence about molestation and sexual abuse because even those who hear their stories, reduce them to dust with dismissal. 

We held a public Q&A after the film, but after that, we had a closed door discussion, open to whoever wanted to come, but no cameras, PR , or recording of any kind. It was run by Naomi from Shalom Bayit, Peace in the House, an organization that works with domestic violence. There were questions and confessions. More than one woman admitted to be a victim of Carlebach's unwanted advances...and also admitted they told no one. There were men in the room, but not one was dismissive or flip as women described their experiences. We expected maybe 50-60 people; over 100 were there. It was SRO, with lots of people sitting on the floor. If nothing else, the response from the audience and the discussion participants demonstrates a tremendous need to talk out loud about the silence and shame. If we, the team from The Darkest Light, succeed at nothing else, we have shone a bit light onto that darkness.

Lots of people are writing reviews. Neshama Carlebach, however wrote an excellent piece for the Times of Israel blog. She explains why she did not join us in San Francisco this weekend. And as much as I would've loved her to be there, I understand why she was not. She wrote:

This was not an easy decision. I believe in this film. I believe it deserves to be seen, and I intend to continue supporting it as it travels through the world. But today should not be about me nor about my grief or my struggle to reconcile the father I loved with the man others experienced. Today belongs, first and foremost, to the women whose voices have too often been ignored, questioned, minimized, or dismissed.

For decades, women shared stories of experiences with my father that left them feeling violated, manipulated, and deeply harmed. Some spoke publicly. Others carried their pain quietly. Some were believed. Most were not.

To each of them, I say: I believe you. I see you. I hear you. I believe your pain deserves attention, compassion, and respect. Once again, I apologize for not having had the courage to see it and stand with you sooner. My absence from the premiere is a small gesture of deference to your courage. This moment belongs to you. 

And she is absolutely right. That moment, that exposure, does belong to those of us who found ourselves held by Carlebach in a way that was not simply inappropriate; it was much more. He was a religious icon and one that appeared to model his behavior in one way while behaving in another. This 14-year old found his attention to be confusing. I strongly suspect because my mother rose up in battle on this, I never felt shame or abandonment when it came to what happened. I assumed all mothers would do that. 

Or not.

The hugs and the fondles may have been, in the bigger picture, seemingly minor, but in fact, they weren't. They were perplexing, confusing, and somewhat frightening. They changed how young girls saw themselves in the aftermath. What became most apparent to me in the discussion group was amount of shame and self-blame that accompanied the confessions. In the film, there is a moment when Neila Carlebach is talking about her husband and women who threw themselves at him, but in a brief pause punctuated with a breath, it becomes apparent that she knew. 

How could she not?

Watching the faces of the women around me, I could not help but remind myself how uncommonly lucky I was to have a mom listen to me waxing rhapsodic about the great man's hug. Was I traumatized? No. Do I have PTSD? No. Did what happened have an impact on me? Well, actually it did. Do not touch me without my permission....that's been a hard and fast rule since my very first date. That's the big one. But the little one is weird....I avoid standing near obviously religious guys who are heavy-set, unkept, have messy hanging fringes, and untended beards. One might say I step aside because they are "frum," but that tiny little niggling voice in my head reminds me I don't want to get close enough for them to accidentally touch me. I didn't pay much attention to the reasoning until I was working on THE DARKEST LIGHT and was about to board a plane to Israel. It was like a light lit a tiny corner that I kept dark. 

My response? Not eureka! Not, oh my! It was a very simple, "Huh." I  just never connected those specific dots. Did that change anything? Nah. Chubby guys with messy fringes who look like they need a bath still creep me out. At least now I know why.

The bottom line is I am so glad we made this film. I am so glad I was able to be there for the premiere. I was so glad I got to hug the other members of the team without creeping anyone out. I hope. 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch....

Today, July 20th, is my 16th Blog-iversary. This means I have been unrelentingly boring you  every Monday night for 16 years. I mean, it can't be too bad, can it? All-times views of the blog say 952,284 have visited The Wifely Person page since I started it in 2010. Tell me to stop any time. I'm listening! 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week
Hang out with your cousins every chance you get.

We really are Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee

Junior High Cit Ed Refresher Course

What used to be Jerusalem Avenue Jr. High

Seventh and eighth grade social studies, at least at the now defunct Jerusalem Avenue Junior High, was called Cit Ed...short for citizenship education. In hindsight, these were by far and away the most important classes I ever had in either junior or senior high school. We learned US history, New York State history, and how our federal and state governments are supposed to work. Yeah, there was a certain amount of indoctrination going on, but the lessons about government and the separation of powers has stuck with me forever. So, let's have a review of what kind of governments are out there.

The United States is supposed to be a constitutional federal republic operating as a representative democracy. This means: 

1. power is divided between the federal and state governments
2. The United States Constitution is the supreme law of the land
3. The federal government has three working branches:
• the legislative - Congress
• the judicial - The Supreme Court
• the executive - The President, Vice President, cabinet, et al

Communist countries are few and far between since Communism as a form of government is difficult to manage. China, Cuba, Laos, and North Korea are pretty much it. 

Communist governments have:

1. One party rule
2. Collective ownership: State owned major industries, resources, and agriculture on behalf of the public.
3. Social and Media Control: Information, mass media, and civil liberties like free speech or religious expression are heavily regulated

Democratic Socialism is a left-wing political and economic philosophy that advocates for political democracy alongside a socially owned or heavily regulated economy. Their stated goals are:

1. Democratic Control: Emphasizes that both political and economic life should be run democratically, aiming to replace what adherents view as the "dictatorship of capital" with worker and community self-management (TIME Magazine)
2. Abolition of the Profit Motive: Advocates for replacing capitalism with an economy driven by social needs rather than corporate profit, (TIME Magazine)
3. Social or Collective Ownership: Long-term goals often include placing key economic drivers—such as utilities, healthcare, and transportation—under public or cooperative control rather than private ownership. (Democratic Socialists of America)

And just to be clear, countries like Denmark and Sweden are NOT democratic socialist governments. No, and they are very clear about that. They are SOCIALIST democratic countries and therein lies a HUGE difference. 

If you get Social Security or Medicare or MedicAid, you are using the very social democratic kind of safety net. Same with SNAP benefits or health insurance through your state program. In a truly capitalist country, these things would not necessarily exist. 

Social democracy emerged in the late 19th century as a response to the challenges of inequalities of the existing class system. They do not seek to abolish capitalism or private property, favoring instead an economy that leverages the economic engine of a free market. Social inequalities of capitalism can be remediated through high taxation, social safety nets (like universal healthcare and public education), and strong labor laws. (Politics Stack Exchange)

1. The Welfare State: Advocates for government-funded public services to ensure a basic standard of living for all citizens.
2. Progressive Taxation: Promotes a tax system where higher earners pay a larger percentage of their income, redistributing wealth to fund public programs and curb extreme inequality.
3. Market Regulation: Supports private enterprise but emphasizes strong labor rights, minimum wages, and environmental regulations to protect workers and society 
4. Democratic Process: Believes in achieving these goals entirely within the framework of a representative democracy.

These days, however, the Democratic Socialists are sucking up all the air in the room, effectively shutting down any sort of debate about what they actually stand for. It's pretty well established they have an unwritten purity test to determine if you can be a part of their movement. Candidates are expected to adhere without question to the following planks in the platform:

1. Health care for all through a single payer system
2. Support for the New Green Deal 
3. refusal to accept any campaign money from corporate PACs or fossil fuel executives.
4. Opposition to foreign military interventions, significant cuts to the defense budget, and support for ending military aid to Israel.

And #4 is where the buck stops for. In addition to ending military aid to Israel, they have also adopted an "anti-Zionist" plank: 

• Anti-Zionism: The DSA views Israel's character as a Jewish state as inherently exclusionary and officially supports the Palestinian-led Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions (BDS) movement.
• Right to Return: The organization advocates for the realization of full Palestinian self-determination and the right of return for refugees, actively supporting protests that use the slogan "from the river to the sea".
• Expulsion Rules: At its national convention, the DSA passed resolutions establishing that promoting or supporting the Israeli state constitutes an expellable offense for members. 

This means, in no uncertain terms, our indigeneity, our right to live in our own homeland, is not permitted under their rules. Their support for "the river to the sea" supports Hamas' goal to exterminate Jews wherever they live. This is not about Jews who live in Israel; this is open season on Jews in London, Paris, Brooklyn, and in every city in the world. 

Can you imagine what would happen if you tried to tell the French that they are really Italians because Caesar once conquered Gaul, thereby wiping away their language, their culture, their cheese, their wine, and the pastries????? Good luck with that. 

But somehow, it's okay to do to Jews. Because that's what they're telling us: that 5000 years of recorded history in one language (still spoken today) with front and forward archeological evidence in literature (ie the Bible,) on tombs, walls, coins, and paving stones means nothing. Never mind one of their own BIG guys was born in Judea, spoke the language, read the texts, and died because he was a Jew going against the status quo of Rome. 

Nah. Don't look here! Look over there at the purple elephant! 

Let me put this in a way everyone can understand: IT IS NOT ABOUT THE LAND. IT IS ABOUT WE, THE JEWISH PEOPLE.

Either the moderate voices of this country pull their collective heads outta their asses and start showing up for candidates who don't advocate for the mass murder of Jews, be prepared for what is to come. Right now, we are being given a choice between a blithering idiot in the Gold House, and a congress made up of anti-Jewish hate mongers. Even if Feckless President Felon keels over tomorrow, we get JD Bedbug who wants to make this a totally Christian country. 

And for all those RIVER TO THE SEA people you're supporting with blind devotion? Be forewarned: after they have gotten rid of us, they will come after the next group standing in their way. Iran will make sure of that. 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Graham Platner just will not go away. Between the nazi tats and the allegations of rape, I think the Democrats in Maine have taken leave of whatever sense they had. 

This guy is a democratic socialist. See above. When their purity driven platform backs a guy like this, their support of Hamas and Hezbollah makes a strange amount of sense. 

The timing of the new allegations also leave me with an odd discomfort. Did someone contribute to her decision to go public at this exact moment? Although this does give them a brief window to float another candidate. I know; that's awfully jaded of me, but still....

16 years of writing this blog has taught me never to accept anything at face value and to research, research, research. I am suspicious of everything. And after reading the Politico article, I'm thinking not having him in Congress is the right way to go. If Maine, considering Platner's issues,  doesn't have a backup candidate waiting in the wings, that's a them-problem. A BIG one. They should've. And not having one may cost this nation dearly.

My trip to San Francisco for the premiere of THE DARKEST LIGHT is a little more than a week away. I'm excited, nervous, but ready to go. Pedophelia is tough enough, but in any religious community it chips away at the fabric of belief. If coming forward encourages others to speak out, then we've done good. I've spoken to the other panelists and we agree this is soooo the right thing to do. If you're in the Bay Area, come see the film, stay for the panel discussion, and say hi. 

12:00pm Sunday July 19, 2026 , JCC Kanbar hall.

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

Everybody gets a free Slurpee at 7-Eleven 

on 7/11 even if it isn't YOUR birthday. 

You Still Can't Fix Stupid

One of Ziggy's favorite expressions was "You can't fix stupid." He woulda loved this sign at President Felon's Great American State Fair. Just note the word FREEEDOM. The Great Pumpkin must be reduced to doing his own editing. Never mind that Ziggy, as the Minnesotan who annually dragged me to State Fair at seven in the morning so we could have breakfast at the Hamline Church Dining Hall before the crowds got bad because the coffee was so good (it was,) would've taken additional perverse delight in the lack of humans attending that ridiculous event desecrating the National Mall. 

I don't think crowds were the issue at the GASF. Photos of the event show more than enough room for a herd of elephants to charge by without disturbing so much as a sleeping visitor.

Apparently, Melania was unable to attend the debacle, but she did have a stand-in: Melania the calf. The kids that named her thought it was the patriotic thing to do. I'm not certain Madam would be pleased with a namesake bovine, even if their hair colors were similar. Still, it was meant to be a lovely gesture no matter how it plays out in the Gold House. 

Of course, President Felon claimed the crowds were "packed with happy people." He claimed 45,000 attended. NBC estimated 1,000. On the other hand, opening day at the 2025 Minnesota State Fair was also a little slow. Only 137,148 went through the gate that day, and total attendance for the 12 days of last year's State Fair was 1,940,869, just a tad less than 2024. This is what our opening day looked like:

Must he lie about this, too? 

Here's the thing: lying isn't simply a matter of not telling the truth. Lying is the undermining of trust, and in President Felon's case, it's not trust in him as our president, but trust in our entire government. His weaponization of the DoJ reduces the belief that there is due process under the law. Lining the pockets of his family through no-bid contract kickbacks and sweetheart international deals like the Kaz Resources deal in Kazakhstan is classic graft. A Supreme Court that continually shifts traditional powers of Congress to the president, as it did this morning with their granting of sweeping powers over regulators does nothing but thwart Congress and ultimately, the Constitution. 

When will they simply declare him Caesar and get it over with?

Then again, SCOTUS let the E. Jean Carroll defamation verdict stand, denying his appeal. I can't wait to see how he manages not to pay her the $5,000,000 judgement to which she is entitled. 

Meanwhile, back at the Golden Gate...

If you actually believe all the anti-Zionist shit put out by the Trans and LGBTQ community is all about Israel and Gaza, have I got a bridge to sell you over by the Golden Gate Strait!...which is not the Strait of Hormuz, just to be clear. Seems that gay Jewish California State senator, Scott Wiener, was driven away from the Transgender March because he is "shit on Gaza." Never mind that he's an established champion of Transgender rights, or has protested against Israel's actions in Gaza. No, he believes Israel has a right to exist. They tossed him because he is a Jew even though he supports their causes...however weird that sounds. On Instagram, Hen Mazzig wrote:

Scott Wiener gave them everything they asked for.

It still wasn’t enough.

He’s spent decades fighting for the LGBTQ community. He passed the pro-trans legislation they’re now thanking him for in the same breath they scream at him. He’s one of the frontrunners to replace Nancy Pelosi in Congress. And earlier this year, he did the one thing they demanded most, he called Israel’s war a “genocide.”

And then they chased him out of a march he’d attended for 22 years. Cornered him at a bar and made him perform “free Palestine” on camera. Told him he “stopped being queer the moment he supported Israel.”

Here’s the lesson every Jew should memorize: there is no sentence you can say that earns you back in. The demand was never a policy position. It was your disappearance.

They don’t want the right answer. They want the wrong kind of Jew to vanish, and they’ll move the line every single time you reach it.

Wiener learned that this week. The rest of us should be paying attention.

It was all about him being a Jew and believing that Jews have a right to live in our own homeland that was established thousands of years before Islam. 

I think Jen Gilman Porat, however expressed my feelings on her Substack rather well:

I used to be so angry when I saw the Pride flags being waved by Hamas cosplayers that I’d fantasize about shipping them off to Gaza. This was my coping skill, but now that schadenfreude failed to kick in for me, I need a new method for endurance.

It's my coping skill, too. But I still want to buy them  all tickets. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

Yes, I'm getting ready for San Francisco

Yes, THE DARKEST LIGHT is getting noticed

If you're in the Bay Area, yes, you want to come see it. 

Individual tickets should be available soon.

Bonus tip o'the Summer: 

State Fair starts August 27th. 

I'll meet you at the Hamline Church Dining Hall at 7a.