A Few Odds and Ends

the old Ner Tamid

I just tossed today's episode; it was dreadfully boring. Ergo, I don't have much to say at the moment. Which is not surprising because this is already a very busy week for me. Let's just say there's a lot of creamed herring involved. And a honey cake. And a new Ner Tamid...Eternal Light...for the Saide Chapel where we have minyan every weekday morning. Somehow, commissioning the new Ner Tamid was an almost Talmudic counterpoint to my work on THE DARKEST LIGHT.

A blog post for The Times of Israel had to get out today. Of course, I'm writing about the documentary, but this time, I'm sharing some of my feelings about the process itself. To be honest, I'm still grappling with some of the issues because I'd never really dealt with them before. 

Knowing Carlebach’s music was not an if; it was everywhere. There was something unsettling about the rhapsodic joy in his niggunim or the soulfulness of his slower tunes. Psalms, sacred words to be sung at sacred moments, set to his music left me with an unsettled sense I could not fully articulate. A space at the center of me recognized what happened but did not dwell on it. I became viscerally angered every time I heard him regaled as a saint, a tzaddik, or a sage. He was none of those things; he was a pedophile and serial molester of women.

Instead, he was revered, celebrated, and idolized.  ...

...The #MeToo movement was already in full swing when the filmmaker Simon Mendes found me through some of my writing. I had long hoped Carlebach would be included in the famous offenders hall of shame. He was not. Finally, a chance to tell the whole story. I was hesitant at first, but oh, so relieved someone was gonna shine a light into that dark, elusive hole.

I am constantly asked if I want the music to go completely away? Not really. It’s really too late for that.  It’s catchy, it’s well-known, even my grandson sings Carlebach songs not knowing they set my teeth on edge…and I’m not mentioning that to an 8-year-old. Let him sing AM YISROEL CHAI to his heart’s content. Yeah, there’s a dichotomy there, but that’s a me problem.

When all of us who were molested are gone, I’m pretty sure the tunes will still be heard in shuls everywhere.

Simon Beychok-Mendes

I really think that at the end of it all, that's how I feel. The music will go one whether we want it to or not. The film is getting great reviews, we are getting lots of invitations to show at film festivals. Simon, our terrific director, is getting singled out for lots of kudos. Never having done the documentary thing before, I am blown away by all of this, yet none of it is really a surprise. The film is just that good, and Simon is an incredibly gifted storyteller. 

And this is not the end of the road for me with this team. I've signed on to research another documentary with them and right now, I am completely buried in research...and loving every minute of it. I suppose it's a bit odd starting a new career at my advanced age. But not really; at least not for me. I want to reinvent myself every chance I get between now and the grave. I want to keep doing. Keep learning. Keep pushing my own envelope. The really funny thing? If Ziggy was here, he'd be rooting me on. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

I solemnly promise to let you all know where and when 

THE DARKEST LIGHT will be shown in your area

as soon as the calendar firms up. 

It's all very exciting.