Random Thoughts with a Through-line.

America is delusional. I don't make this statement lightly, but events in recent weeks make me wonder about the ability of We, the People, who are supposed to be working toward a more perfect union, to manage to elect a functional government... or at least one that understands this is ONE country, ONE people, ONE population yet it's increasingly evident that no one is listening to the vox populi, the voice of the people. 

To wit:

• 61% believe abortion to be legal (June 2022) 
• 53% believe medication abortion should be legal and available versus 22% who believe it should be illegal
• 61% believe some corporations do not pay their fair share in taxes.
• 50% find it difficult to afford health care costs even with insurance.
• 63 % of Americans believe Biden/Harris won the 2020 election; 29% believe there was voter fraud.
• 61% of REPUBLICANS still believe Feckless loser won. 

And if that's not enough proof that no one is listening, try this one out for size: 

Well, his name isn't Jake, it's Jack Teixeira and he's not a patriot. The twit leaked classified information on a gamer website. That means a member of Congress, an elected official of the United States government, is defending an act of high treason. 

Imagine if the kid's name was Jake Goldstein. Then, he woulda been an agent of George Soros, a tool of the Jewish Space Laser corps. 

And speaking of questionable government officials, imagine the outcry if Justice Clarence Thomas's name was Justice Chaim Tomashefsky. Hoo Ha! The attacks on that guy from the right would be legendary! Can you even imagine the pitchforks and flaming torches outside the house of Elena Kagan if she were taking zillion dollar vacays with Mark Zuckerberg? Or selling a bit of property to Sergei Brin? I mean, they'd be calling for her expulsion to a gulag in Oklahoma for sullying the hallowed halls of justice. How about declaring income from a company that hasn't existed for almost a decade? Oh, that woulda sent Ketanji Brown Jackson straight to jail with life imprisonment for tax fraud. 

But the House Judiciary Committee doesn't wanna discuss Clarence Thomas; Jim Jordan, the chairman of said committee is too busy trying to demand trial evidence to a point where DA Bragg had to sue to get him to stop violating the criminal process. Jordan is working a little Texas two-step here to distract and deflect. Or, as Ziggy would say whenever there was a Dairy Queen up ahead on the right...."LOOK! A PINK ELEPHANT!" while frantically pointing to the left. The kids might've fallen for that once or twice....but one would think We, the People, are more sophisticated than that.  

Or not. 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Since April 1st, there've been a whole lotta mass shootings; 33 dead, 167 injured. That doesn't include the cop shootings: 2 dead in Wisconsin, 1 dead in Minnesota. Let's not leave out the Black kid in Kansas City who was trying to pick up his siblings...and got shot in the head by an old White guy when he rang the wrong doorbell. Oh, it's worth mentioning he made it to other houses to ask for help, and when one opened the door he was told to get down on the ground, which he did...and lost consciousness. He's alive and recovering. Lucky the guy who shot him was really old and couldn't see. 

How is it we not agree guns are a problem? How is it one national party calls itself pro-life yet refuses to rein in the merchants of death? How can you carry on about controlling women's bodies when you refuse to in any way hamper weapons of death from getting into the hands of people who will use them on other people NOT in a war zone? 

The Washington Post ran an article about the mass shooting in Alabama this morning. Do take a moment to read it...and try to keep your last meal down. But it was something said in the comments section that really got to me. A commenter who goes by Lamar 72 wrote:

The gunman was merely exercising his rights of expression via blasting everyone in sight. Since they did not have parties in the 17th century with DJ’s, the Supreme Court has determined there is nothing you can do about this.

That stopped me in my reading tracks: Originalist thinking at its very basest root. 

The way originalist thinking as applied by this court is not good for America. It seeks to prevent the country from moving forward in today's world. How can it? Justices Thomas, Gorsuch, and ConeyBarrett do not recognize modern social development or scientific achievement. I mean, look at vaccinations. Gender identity. What they are really saying, along with the rest of the GOP pro-death contingent, is that women are chattel to be kept barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, and "non-conforming" gender identity is a game. 

Our very own Senator Klobuchar hit the mark in an interview when she asked:

"What is going to be next? Is that judge going to not like birth control pills? Are we going to have a judge that doesn't like [cholesterol medication] Lipitor? There's a reason that Congress gave the FDA the power to make these decisions about safety."

In case you're wondering about this stream of vitriolic angst, there actually is a line the goes right from my first salvo down to this one... in case you missed it. What We, the People want has absolutely no relation to what the GOP is trying to shove down our throats even with a Democratic administration. Their methodology is distract and divert in hopes no one will look behind their curtain because the rest of us are too busy putting out these absurd fires. Their goal is to take this country back to a time before information was available to anyone who could read, much less access to Google. They are counting on schools to dumb down curricula to a point where kids don't learn about how government is supposed to work, no longer care about anything outside their bubbles, and allow these people to control what they read, what they think, what they do.

You think I'm kidding? Red states are actively banning books. Not just books about sexuality and gender, but about history....Anne Frank...the Holocaust, slavery in the United States. BELOVED is on the banned list in several states, along with THE KITE RUNNER. Really? We cannot possibly expose children to history, can we?

Gee, isn't that what Hitler did? Actually, yes.  He believed he could win the hearts and minds of German youth through indoctrination via Hitler Youth and League of German Girls. At a rally in support of Feckless Loser hosted by (get this one) Mom's For America, freshman congressclown Mary Miller from Illinois told the crowd:

This is the battle. Hitler was right on one thing. He said, 'Whoever has the youth has the future.'

And so, kids, this is why I doubt we are not necessarily able to elect a functional government. Clowns like this are making these statements in public. And way too many people are drinking this brand of Kool-Aide.

Just a thought. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

If you live in Minnesota, summer was last week.

If you were out of the state, you missed it.

Bummer.

Even If We Were All Learned In The Torah

Today,  we have a guest contributor. I rarely share the byline, but my guest has a lot to say about Passover. Young Sir, who happens to have recently turned 5, was great at answering questions during the seder, so we're gonna talk about the seders and what they mean. 

Me: How many seders did you go to this year?

YS: I went to one seder at Tom and Laurie's. I saw my cousins T and O. It was fun. We telled stories and sang songs. We finded the afikomen and we got money for giving it to Tom. 

Me: Did you go to another seder?

YS: I went to another seder at Savta's [that's me!] house. It was my favorite seder.

YS: Well, it was fun. It was relaxing. There were lots of kids there. I was the only boy. [the other 6 were girls.] 

Me: Did you get to answer questions at this seder? Which ones?

YS: I answered why this was different from all other nights. I talked about Egypt and other stuff. I telled them the salt water reminded us of the tears of the slaves in Egypt. I telled them about maror [bitter herbs] that reminds us of the bitterness of the slaves in Egypt. Then I ate a hard boiled egg, matzah, and gefilte fish with cucumber. I didn't want soup, so that was all I ate. I had chocolate-chocolate cake for dessert.  The food was good. 

Me: What else did you do?

YS: We opened the door for Eliahu ha'navi [Elijah the Prophet] and then we went outside to play in the dark.

Me: Was this a good seder?

YS: Yes. We had fun.

I will tell you, however, that 15 people with 7 of them kids, was total wonderful, delightful bedlam, much like the seders of my childhood. I was floored at the amount of knowledge amongst the little guys, and when Little Miss read aloud from the Haggadah, her reading was fluent, flawless, and expressive...a pretty nifty thing for an 8-year old. 

The first seder was the first cousins' seder since the lockdown. There was lots to catch up on. Since I grew up with great cousin seders, this was particularly awesome for me, because the last three years were one giant anomaly. Lots of hugs, lots of laughs, and a great afikomen hunt. I found myself a touch emotional at times, missing Ziggy who loved telling the story of the departure from Egypt, and wishing he could see his grandkids with their plague masks on.

My cousin Laurie found a picture of a seder long ago....my parents, her dad, and her in-laws at her parents' seder table. Her mom, the fabulous Pesh, had to have been in the kitchen...as usual. But seeing the three sets of parents together made me wistful, wishing that they could see their great-grandchildren doing what their grandkids had once done: run amok. Would that they could've been there to see the tradition continue into one more generation. 

During our interview, Young Sir made it very clear he had fun at both seders. He and his big sister were with their cousins the first night and close family friends the second... meant there was lots to yammer on about. I know Little Miss will remember the second seder because of all the noise and laughter; I hope Young Sir remembers, too. And I want them to tell their kids that seders were fun, that they exist because of what The Holy One did for all of us when we went out of Egypt.

This is something we do right: we tell the story at the table, stressing that WE were slaves in Egypt and that freedom from slavery is a communal event. We use rituals like salt water, bitter herbs, and matzah to transmit the importance of the story that is about US, not those people long ago. There is an intrinsic importance in gathering together with family, friends, strangers without a place to go on Pesach, or those who want to learn our holiday. 

The props

The seder isn't just a meal...the word means order and there is a specific way to tell the story, complete with visual aids: a special Seder plate with sections, the Haggadah, a matzah cover...this one embroidered by the same Grandma Sarah that edged all those hankies and a special cup for Elijah himself. These are all visual aids that enhance consistency to the retelling. 

You retell the story. You use the props. You add a bit, adjust for kids' ages, for adults' depth of understanding, but you stick to the outline. You hit all the points high points...and then some.  As it is written in the Haggadah:

Now, even if all of us were scholars, even if all of us were sages, even if all of us were elders, even if all of us were learned in the Torah, it would still be our duty to tell the story of the Exodus from Mitzrayim [Egypt.] Moreover, whoever elaborates upon the story of the Exodus deserves praise.

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

New to making Pesach?

Save a couple of empty gefilte fish jars.

Trust me on that....they're handy for un-making Pesach.

When Margarine Costs Ten Bucks...And Other Observations.

Okay. I admit I'm an idiot. People have, over the years, told me I'm an idiot before this, but this year, I will agree with them.

I just spent $10 for a pound of kosher for Passover margarine...

and it's not even the good stuff!

I have, in years past, complained about no Temptee Whipped Cream Cheese, no Breakstone's Cottage Cheese, red horseradish. All things considered, these were annoying parts of passover, but I've made crème fraîche, cottage cheese, and even red horseradish from scratch. In fact, if you must know, I keep a supply of cheesecloth on hand for just such emergencies. But this year, the outages are devastatingly horrible, and neither can be made from scratch.

There is almost no margarine to be found, and what there is  is the yukky stuff (as in not Migdal which happens to be great for parve baking.) Even more tragic, THERE ARE NO JOYVA MARSHMALLOW TWISTS to be found anywhere...except for a lone package that was hidden away at the bottom of my chest freezer...and is Kosher l'Pesach. The Junior Son, ostensibly over to schlep boxes, nabbed the lone box of Twists. I think they're for his family...unless he's gonna sell 'em on eBay for a zillion dollars, and you know I won't be seeing a cut of that! It's okay. I'll just sit here imagining I'm eating a frozen Joyva Marshmallow Twist. 

And to add insult to injury, I FORGOT to buy my annual package of seriously disgusting coconut covered Pesadik marshmallows. See, you have to open the bag and let them dry out for a few days before they're even remotely edible, although they are a far cry from stale Peeps, the gold standard for crispy marshmallows. 

And you wanna know what's worse? Just like all your favorite Christmas songs, Peeps are Jewish. They may be tref (not kosher) because they actually use pig-derived gelatin, but most of the rest of Just Born candies are certified both kosher and halal. Go figure. 

From Wikipedia

Russian-Jewish immigrant Sam Born (1891–1959) came to the United States in December 1909. He moved to San Francisco, where, in 1916, Born was awarded the "key to the city" of San Francisco for inventing the Born Sucker Machine, a machine that mechanically inserted sticks into lollipops.

In 1917, Born started a small retail store in Brooklyn, New York. He displayed in his store window an evolving line of daily made candy, advertising its freshness with a sign that declared Just Born. The original company symbol showed a baby resting in a candy measuring scale. Sam Born is also credited with the invention of chocolate sprinkles, known as "jimmies," and the hard coating on ice cream bars.

In 1923, Born started his own manufacturing company in New York City. Irv and Jack Schaffer, Born's brothers-in-law, joined the company to help market and sell the confections. In 1932, the trio relocated operations to Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. The company bought a four-story, 224,396 sq. ft. building, built during 1920, from a bankrupt printing company.

Sam Born's son, Bob Born, joined the company in 1945, and would later become the company's president for more than 30 years. He was part of the two-man team that mechanized the process forming Peeps, allowing a substantial increase of production, causing Just Born to become America's largest manufacturer of seasonal marshmallow confections. Bob Born died at age 98 on January 29, 2023.

Passover is bad enough....

And yes, I know I'm carrying on over candy. Power is still out in some neighborhoods after the April Fools Blizzard. Tornados did a job on Mississippi. Kids are still dead after the school shooting in Nashville. And I'm complaining about candy.

Fourteen years ago Ziggy and I were doing the Passover changeover terrified because we each suspected it would be the last one we would do together and neither of us wanted to talk about it. We weren't having our annual fight about the correct way to duct tape the plastic sheeting over the laminate counters. We weren't arguing about how much floor washing we were gonna do, and whether or not he would paste-wax the floor in the morning. It was unusually quiet that night, and after the floor was washed, we didn't snuggle on the couch like we always did; he shooed me upstairs to bed because he wanted to just think. 

You see, I wasn't going to shul in the morning; we were going to the oncologist.

It's amazing how, in the space of a heartbeat, life can change. 

What's even more amazing is our refusal to change the things we can to protect the ones we love. School shooting after school shooting after school shooting...and those indefensible, bible-beating misogynists want to ban books.

No toddler ever found a parent's loaded book and accidentally killed a sibling, yet there is a ridiculous drive to ban books conjoined to a refusal to ban automatic weapons. 

Can someone explain that to me? How has this nation not risen up in screaming protest to remove these child-haters from elected office?

Marjorie Taylor Greene was on 60 Minutes the other night. She does a great job pretending to be a normal person who just happens to believe in conspiracies and lies like a rug when it suits her. ("Oh, I never said that." Roll video please.) But she did say something which I've written about in the past and sometimes think might not be such a bad idea: a national divorce. 

The idea is not without precedence. It was strongly considered after the Civil War; had the country divided then, things would be vastly different from what we have now. Duh. But the idea that the ideological differences are so severe right now as to warrant such a split may not be as farfetched as it sounds. 

As you can see, red states cut down the middle of the country, and it's easy enough to figure out that the industrial northeast is the more populous of the two. While Texas is somewhat industrial, most of the red states are agricultural with lower standards of living.  All of which got me to thinking: what happens if...?

For starters, what happens when the blue states walk away with the lion's share of the tax base? Companies that had been thinking about moving to red states will soon figure out their workforce probably wants stability of education and availability of health-related services. These will become two driving wedges into the separation of blue from red. 

What happens when the loss of the tax base coupled with red state promises of lower taxes, smaller government, and less government regulation means the loss of a whole lotta federal services like transportation infrastructure maintenance including air traffic control, railroad safety, and highway repair? If planes can't take off or land safely, if trains derail, and highways are unsafe on which to drive, how do the goods get to market?

What happens when all them pinko-socialist programs like Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid will also shrink? If there is no Social Security, who is going to take care of Grandma's expenses? Since the GOP has yet to provide a blueprint for affordable care, who is gonna quit the job to care for Grandpa when he's home sick and can't get admitted to hospital? Who's gonna put food on the table?

You known damn well the blue states are gonna revise, fix, and replenish those safety net programs once they're not blocked at every turn by an obstructionist congress. And while the red states are largely agrarian, there is still a whole lotta farming in the blue states as well.

I'm not so sure Lincoln did the right thing in reunifying the North and South. If those people wanna elect Feckless to another term, let them....and let the blue states elect someone who knows how to run a company...other than into the ground. 

This isn't Brexit or Megxit or any other kind of cosmic break. This is actually a very specific one and one I would more than likely welcome, because it would rid We, the People from the likes of Feckless Loser, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Ron DeSantis, and some of the others of the brainless trust who can't figure out where the greenbacks come from. 

Yeah, this is a scary prospect, but wasn't leaving Egypt for the wilderness just as scary? It wasn't a walk through any sorta park; it was a struggle to get out, a struggle to form a single people, and a struggle to settle into the land. It took a long time, but it was the right thing to do.

I can only think that We, the People, need to stop being slaves to the whims of a party that claims to love America,  but clearly doesn't like Americans to live, be well, and thrive. Maybe, just maybe it's time to get out of this abusive relationship.

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

הָא לַחְמָא עַנְיָא דִּי אֲכָלוּ אַבְהָתָנָא בְאַרְעָא דְמִצְרָיִם

This is the bread of affliction our ancestors ate in the land of Egypt.

All those who are hungry, let them enter and eat. 

All who are in need, let them come celebrate the Passover. 

Now we are here. Next year in the land of Israel. 

This year we are enslaved. Next year we will be free.

PORNOGRAPHY: An open letter to the folks in Florida, Texas, and the other reactionary states.

There  used to be a old joke about a guy who was arrested for having pornography, and in his own defense, he protested saying, "I don't even own a pornograph!"

When I was a little kid, I thought that was a really funny joke. I have no idea why I thought it was funny, but I did. I even asked my dad if we had a pornograph since I knew we had a phonograph. Of course, Dad explained there was no such thing as a pornograph and the two weren't interchangeable. 

I do not believe he explained, however, what pornography was. I doubt I would've understood the concept because I really thought it was a new kind of record player. 

So, I'm thinking that maybe you and your governor DeSantis don't actually know what pornography is, because you forced out Hope Carasquilla over showing her students Michelangelo's David. Some overzealous parents said the statue was pornographic. 

So much for literacy, so let's try to fix that without offending your delicate sensibilities.

Pornographic, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is

printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings.

How about a little dictionary diving here?

• Erotic : relating to or tending to arouse sexual desire or excitement.
• Arouse : three definitions offered here. What to choose? What to choose?
• evoke or awaken a feeling 
• excite or provoke (someone) to anger or strong emotions.
• excite (someone) sexually. (Ding! ding! ding! we have a winner!) 
• Aesthetic : concerned with beauty or the appreciation of beauty.
• Emotional : relating to a person's emotions; arousing or characterized by intense feeling.

Hmmmm. I don't know about any of you, but a flaccid penis doesn't do it for me, therefore, having stood up close to this flaccid penis, I can tell you without hesitation that Michelangelo's David is a celebration of the perfection of human form. For all you good Christians, this is exactly what you're fighting for when you all go on about how G-d doesn't make mistakes and everyone is gender-assigned at birth and no one has the right to be anything except what you want them to be.  

David, originally commissioned as one of a series of statues of the prophets to be installed along the roof of Florence Cathedral, was deemed too beautiful to be placed at such a height. Instead, he was set in the Piazza della Signoria, the seat of city government, where he could be seen by all. This was not erotica in any way, shape, or form. This was...and still is...art. Oh, just so you don't think this is modern liberal thinking, the location of the statue was changed and ultimately unveiled on September 8th, 1504....519 years ago. Now, he's the most popular guy in the Galleria dell'Accademia di Firenze.

Pornography is in the eye of the beholder. If you see David as pornographic, you probably should never set foot in the Sistine Chapel, or practically any Catholic church with its iconic depictions of nursing mothers, naked children, and scourged almost-naked saints, not to mention any museum in any city. IF you're the one getting turned on by this stuff, YOU are the one with the problem, not the nuns who gleefully take selfies with David...not because it's the closest they'll ever get to a penis, flaccid or otherwise, but because he's an expression human physical perfection, that thing all those pastoral trophy wives strive for. 

And to be honest, this is really just another expression of book banning. You are attempting to control what others see in a rather hopeless attempt to control the minds of others. You want to drop a glass bubble over your children, forbidding them to learn about other people. Is that such a good thing to do? What happens when they meet someone who is different? Is it hate at first sight? 

There are people who are homosexual in this world. There are people who are of a different mind about religion than yours. Why teach a child to be ashamed of difference? 

And why teach them to be ashamed of their bodies. Kids are gonna touch themselves and each other. And how do you explain "nocturnal emissions?" Are you telling them that natural functions are evil? And wouldn't that be the antithesis of "everything G-d does is perfect?"

As a parent and grandparent, I understand the need to exercise some control over media that comes into your homes. I mean, as loath as I am to admit it, after one episode of REN AND STIMPY I did tell the boys if I ever saw it on the television again I would rip the cable outta the wall. I know I wasn't alone in my distaste for that show, but it wasn't in my job description to ban it for everyone on the planet. That was between Ziggy, me, and the guys. 

Those decisions are left to the parents and guardians within the walls of a home. No one gets to tell my kids what they can or cannot watch or read. I mean, the person who asked that the bible be banned in Utah had a point in demonstrating how ridiculous the law is. By the way, IF I could ban The King James translation of the Jewish part of the bible, I would do it in a heartbeat, but not because it's totally salacious...which it is... but because it's a terrible translation and should just be ditched. Christian scholars think it's a terrible translation. How would you feel if I started a campaign to do just that? Who am I to tell you that you can't read a terrible translation of a book written in Hebrew and still read in Hebrew?

Honestly, it's bad enough you want to control the bodily functions of over half the population while leaving the other, lesser part, to continue to ejaculate into women sans consequence. But I'm not talking about that here. I'm actually defending your kids' right to know about their own bodies, themselves, and the world around them. I want them to learn. I want them to experience being naturally curious about their bodies and themselves. I want them to grow up healthy and well adjusted. 

What I want is unimportant inside your walls. What I don't understand is why you don't want the same thing. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

This is a great butt. 

It's not porn no matter how much you look.

It's just a butt.

The Certainty Trap

1 + 1 = 2

2 x 2 = 4 

100 - 49 = 51

17 is a prime number

WALKED = past tense of WALK 

2 atoms of H + 1 atom of O = H2O (the molecular structure of water)

Are the above posits irrefutable, or part of a certainty trap? 

Can I change the laws of mathematics and science because I personally believe there is a different outcome because I saw something online by someone who saw the same outcomes differently from me? 

I believe, therefore it is?

More and more, the phrase the Certainty Trap is appearing in the op ed columns around is. The phrase attributed to Ilana Redstone, an associate professor of Sociology at the University of Illinois/Urbana-Champaign. Simply explained, the Certainty Trap is the tendency to treat our values, principles or beliefs as inviolable. That if one believes it to be true, it must be true. This is not just found in religious beliefs, but in politics as well, and that's where Tucker Carlson comes in. 

Tucker Carlson has emphatically stated the action on January 6th was a sightseeing adventure gone wrong, even though the live video tells an entirely different story. In my world, anyone with a television or internet access can watch the riot, both inside and outside the Capitol, as it unfolded over and over again. These are facts. There are lots of tapes, recorded phone conversations, not to mention photographs taken by thousands of spectators with smart phones who were sending jubilant updates of the action to friends, family, and Facebook. 

That overwhelming footage was streamed live to a horrified nation cannot be in dispute in the real world. Not so much, however, in Fox World. 

But wait!

Have I just fallen into a certainty trap with that conclusion? Is it possible my so-called facts are actually just as much speculative manipulation as the reporting on FOX? How can I tell whether or not I am ignoring what is real when I believe myself to be processing my version of facts even if I watched it live on television?

Possibly. But not, if you're a bit of a fact-checking pragmatist as I am, not bloody likely.

Certainty does, at some point, become toxic certainty as it's manipulated for public viewing. Last week, Carlson took America through his carefully curated exposé of the sightseeing tour of January 6th, 2021, Tucker Carlson repeatedly harps on the death of Officer Brian Sicknick:

The tape shows very clearly Brian Sicknick walking through the building in apparent health after the media told us for two years that he had been murdered. So, they were wrong about that. Ok. They got caught. Here's the interesting thing. They won't admit it. Liz Cheney's tweet is still on Twitter tonight. "Officer Sicknick was killed defending our Capitol from the violent mob on January 6." No correction. Anderson Cooper of CNN still has not apologized "Officer Brian Sicknick died after being hit [on] the head with a fire extinguisher during the fight," he told us. Those are lies. Why not just admit it and move on? They won't. 

Except they did. On April 19th, 2021, the Washington Post reported on the release of the medical examiner's report that states Officer Sicknick suffered two strokes on January 6th, and the aerosol sprayed on him would not have triggered those strokes. In his report, ME Francisco J. Diaz reported:

Sicknick suffered two strokes at the base of the brain stem caused by a clot in an artery that supplies blood to that area of the body. Diaz said he could not comment on whether Sicknick had a preexisting medical condition, citing privacy laws. 

In the days after the riot, police and a Justice Department official attributed Sicknick’s death to his efforts to contain the riot.  ...

Diaz’s ruling does not mean Sicknick was not assaulted or that the violent events at the Capitol did not contribute to his death. The medical examiner noted Sicknick was among the officers who engaged the mob and said “all that transpired played a role in his condition."

The Capitol Police added that his strokes do not change the fact that he died in defense of the Capitol. 

But Tucker never mentions that the cause of death was corrected and recognized early on as not having been from a blow to the head. Instead, he continues to sell the idea that the Democrats continued to lie about that when they did not. The rest of the footage he shows is so carefully edited and stitched together that he could say whatever he wanted based on video that had been fundamentally altered to show a very different version of the events. He makes the assumption that no one will go back to the original videos as posted that day.

Carlson is kneading the truth, reshaping into something he wants his audience to gasp and grasp while disseminating absolutely untrue information that his audience will spread in a toxic game of telephone. 

It's a game. A dangerous one, but a game all the same. 

Look, I'm not suggesting that Tucker Carlson has a dick to lean on here, but you gotta admit, he's highly skilled and motivated in the art of certainty manipulation. He's mastered this skill. As have lots of his supporters and compatriots. They are unable to refrain from believing anything he puts out there. 

The same principle transfers onto lots of other discussions. Large segments of the evangelical population absolutely believe their particular brand of belief is the ONLY proper way to believe in God. Muslims have similar issues between Sunni and Shiites. Jewish sectarianism tends not to be extreme in the US, but in Israel? Ha! The ultra-religious right have a stranglehold on much of Israel's civil life much to the dismay of most Israelis. Don't believe me? HUGE demonstrations are going on weekly in Israel directed at Netanyahu and his proposed changes to the judicial system. These are just a few examples of certainty traps; that place where only you are right and everyone else is an idiot. 

Tel Aviv ~ Oded Balilty | Credit: AP

Yeah, I'm just as guilty as the next guy when I think about ultra-religious Jews. I cannot normalize them in any way, but I know enough to listen to what they're saying. Understanding their mishugas, their brand of craziness, (IMHO) is the only way I can engage in conversation about it. I cannot combat their propaganda with more slogans; I need to understand what's being said so I can respond to questions I am asked here. They are a part of my world whether I like it or not. And when I am in Israel, they're an even bigger part of the world I would seriously like to drown out. I view them as the ultimate enemy of the STATE of Israel. And yes, I take comfort knowing I'm not alone in that certainty. Secular Israel is out in the streets these days, protesting the direction the government is taking. It's not just kids; young and old alike, including friends my age, are in those crowds. 

When opinions flood mass media without any sort of fact check or verification of validity, the news cycle disseminates the information in a flash, added to that wonderful (snark,snark) habit of people to suck up the news from any particular bubble into their own stream of consciousness bubble so they can vomit it back to their own audience. The certainty trap is enhanced when only information from your bubble spreads to your connected bubbles. That ensures only news and information supporting your beliefs will be valid in your own world. Neither Truth, nor Justice, nor even the American Way have anything whatsoever to do with this formulated reality. 

But here's the kicker...we all fall into the trap one way or another. Keep that in mind the next time you scoff at the perceived enemy. Knowing that you do should help to focus your own reality check now and then. 

Just a thought.

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

Passover is rapidly approaching.

Time to get the non-perishables,

but the hunt for Temptee has commenced. 

Follies, Foibles, and Family Fun

This past weekend, all 6 of us first cousins on my dad's side were together in probably almost two decades at an event where headstones did not dominate the landscape. No kidding. We've been together for funerals and unveilings, but no happy events. To be fair, this is pretty much my fault because I'm in Minnesota and they're all on the east coast. But this, the first bat mitzvah in the newest generation, was not to be missed. 

We  4

Preparation for the trip was a big deal. Plane ticket, hotel, clothes. East coast events are different from here and I wanted to get it all right. I also noticed that last night (Sunday) happened to be our Grandma Sarah's 44th yahrzeit and we would all be together in shul on Shabbat morning. 

That stopped me in my tracks. RH is Grandma's first great-great grandchild. RH's grandfather, RE, was Grandma's first grandchild. I was at RE's bar mitzvah. It was a huge event in my life. I remember it vividly. There were only 4 first-cousins in those days, and we cannot possibly be that much older than we were then. Or not.  Truth is, we 4 are all over 70. Impossible!

RE's daughter, DK, was the first great-grandchild and she born in just enough time to know her Great Grandma Sarah, even if it was briefly. 

RH's bat mitzvah, the first of her generation, is a huge family milestone. I marvel that we were all together for this. I wish I had a picture, but alas, herding us is like herding cats even though all 6 of us are old-er....and the next generation of second cousins are all adults... who just think we're weird. But that's okay, because we pretty much are. 

Still, as I prepared for the trip east, I thought a lot about us as kids, and the impact Grandma had on all of us. I wanted to give RH something besides a cheque, something that would have significant meaning. Something that would be a physical link to Grandma Sarah. 

Turns out, it wasn't a stretch. 

I happen to have in my possession a whole lotta hankies. See, our very British grandmother was big on things like hankies. She used to buy plain, very fine Irish linen handkerchief squares, then tat or crochet the edges. She spent endless hours teaching me how to do that, as well as embroider. (And yes, I still can do both …especially now that the cataracts are gone.)

 

Most of the hankies in the bag belonged to my mom, her daughter-in-law, and some even had her name, Helen, or her initial H on them. But a dozen hankies were simply edged, most in the variegated cotton string she favoured. Since my own mom was completely inept at that needlework stuff, it was easy to recognize my Grandma's exquisite handiwork. 

Sarah and Moishe Schwaidelson have nine great-grandchildren: six girls and three boys. They now have five great-great-grandchildren: three girls and two boys. Well, this is girls' week. I took 8* handkerchiefs, laundered and starched them just as Grandma Sarah taught me, ironed them to sharpness, and brought them with me to the Bat Mitzvah. They were distributed to the great and great-great granddaughters. There were lots of sighs, ooh, and ahs. Amongst the granddaughters, there was a fair amount of emotion going on. [Note: the 9th handkerchief will go to Little Miss here in Minnesota.] 

See, we are an American family. We don't always agree. We have serious differences amongst us. But in the end, we are a family. Somehow, we manage to come together for the important stuff, to sit together, to be together...even when it's really, really hard. But we do it no matter the faults, the foibles, and the follies. It ain't perfect, but it's just us. Grandma would expect no less. We are a net-work; we catch each other when we fall, then push each other back up. It's interesting to note that RE, the grandfather of the the bat mitzvah girl, and my Big Brother are BFFs and have been for as long as I can remember. (They even have matching Groucho/WC Fields cufflinks.) I love my cousins unconditionally. We share a collective memory no one else has. We are us.

The Saturday night party was a hoot. I even wore high heels and made it through the night. Sitting at a long table, all the cousins and the kids who were able to be there bounced around talking the night away, catching up, exchanging stories, and generally laughing a lot. I was thrilled to finally have a chance to talk to one of the girls who just graduated from med school and has started her residency in OB/GYN. Her sister is in the reality TV end of the industry but we still got to talk shop about the POMEGRANATE since she now has a copy of the pitch-deck. Another great-granddaughter recently graduated and is moving toward a career in conservation and environment. Her sister is the family baker and it's a thrill to listen to her talk about her craft. Very different paths for some rather strong women. None of that surprises me. 

The short one is 
Grandma Sarah

Grandma Sarah and her sister Jane boarded the S.S. St. Paul in Southampton, England on March 28th, 1908, and arrived in the Port of New York on April 6th, 1908, with £10 between them. Grandma was 14 and listed as a pupil, her sister was 11 and listed as a child. They almost got sent back because they didn't have enough money to enter New York.  Aunt Yuddis talked them off the boat. They survived; they thrived. 

And you wonder why her daughters, granddaughters, great-granddaughters, and great-great granddaughters are tough? We come from tought stuff. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

Keep your friends close, your family closer.

Even when you're all mad at each other,

you still share blood, DNA, and upbringing.

Odds are one of us might be your organ donor.

Happy Purim! Eat Hamantaschen!

Queen Esther - illustration by Isabelle Cardinal

Okay, it should come as no surprise that I have a thing for strong Jewish women doing stuff in difficult situations. Read any one of my three novels, and you'll know this is true fact. But here's the thing: this is not, nor are my characters, an aberration. Since Rebecca was reported to have taken the matter of her twin sons, Esau and Jacob, into her own hands, Jewish women have been perennial fixers. Oh, yeah, sure, we overstep and overreact on rare occasions, but you can count on Jewish women to get the job, any job, done. It takes incredible strength of character and an iron will to even run a Jewish household. Which is why we sometimes get a bad rap. But never mind that. 

I did not write The Pomegranate from within a vacuum. Batsheva Hagiz is a natural extension of that line of strong biblical women. In fact, there is a moment in the book where, when she refuses to divulge her name, her captor calls her Vashti, inadvertently naming her for the deposed queen, because it means lovely. And while the name is close to her own (and she self-comments on that,) she is not like Vashti at all. She is like Esther, Vashti's replacement queen. 

I wrote this midrash on Esther a lot of years ago. I was in the middle of early drafts of THE POMEGRANATE, and not even close to being done. It was right around Purim and I was surrounded by the story of two women who faced tremendous odds. I was Team Vashti early on...long before it was popular...and I took a fair amount of flak for that. I staunchly believed she did not go quietly nor with admissions of some kind of guilt. And once I learned that Atossa, daughter of Cyrus the Great and wife of Darius, one of the all-time great queens of Persia, might have actually been the mother of Xerxes, the guy we think was Ahashverush, I was hooked. Hence the midrash.

QUEEN 101 - INTRO TO QUEENSHIP

Hadassah wandered through the rooms of the harem, anointed in myrrh, swathed in robes of the finest eastern silks, and bored out of her mind. The other women, it seemed to her, were happy enough to rifle through casks of baubles and bolts of cloth, chattering on nothing more important than the depth of the shade of silk compared to the color of eyes or hair. To Hadassah, it seemed they had nothing more than fluffy wool between their ears. Surely there was more to life in the palace of the world's greatest king than this.

Hegai was not much help. He tried to find her puzzles and games to keep her amused, but the girl solved them quickly and without effort. Years in the harem business taught him that bored women are dangerous women. Without anything to occupy them, the ladies of the harem invariably turned on each other for sport. But Hegai liked the one they now called Esther; she was observant and cautious. Nothing escaped her notice, and if that were not enough, she asked an endless stream of serious questions. She wanted to know how the king's council was chosen and how it worked. She asked about the methods used to get information out to the corners of the Empire. She never asked about the color of the cosmetics and ointments the servants applied, she only wanted to know where they came from and how they were made. Still, Hegai knew it wasn't enough.

On this day, Hegai led Esther through a plain door on the western side of the harem's pool, away from where most of the other ladies lounged on divans covered with trays of delicacies beside them. The constant chatter faded as Esther passed through the doorway and into another world. Songbirds trilled in the trees, and a pair of peacocks paraded on the grassy bank beside yet another pool, this one fed by a carefully constructed waterfall at the far end. There were several couches, a table with two chairs, and a small gazebo away from everything else. Between the birdsong and the gentle rustle of the waterfall, Esther thought she was miles away from the rest of the harem. "What is this place?" she asked Hegai.

"This is the queens' garden," he replied.

"Where is the queen?"

"There is no queen."

"Oh. Yes. I didn't mean to…."

"I thought you would enjoy this place.  In the gazebo you will find story scrolls, the kind that queens like to have read aloud. I know you read. You can read here undisturbed. No one will know you are reading."

Esther looked up at Hegai. "You are so kind to me. Why?"

He smiled at her, "Because you do not annoy me with empty words and endless requests for honeycomb. I shall come back for you before you are missed."

***********

Sitting in the gazebo, absorbed in tales of genies and maidens, Esther did not hear the soft footfall of other women; not until one coughed that she saw them and jumped up.

Both women were wrapped in exquisite silks, one in black, the other in white. Their hair was completely covered, and their faces only barely visible through the sheer gauze of a veil. "That's a good story," said one softly as she lifted the white veil over her head. She was very beautiful; her skin was the color of the chai, and her eyes were like dark Chinese jade.

The second one lifted her veil as well. She was older, with onyx eyes beneath winged grey brows. "I hope we didn't startle you."

Esther shook her head, but said nothing. She was fairly certain the older woman was the famed beauty Atossa, daughter of Cyrus the Great, this king's mother, and the most powerful woman in Persia. And the eyes of the second....no, it could not be possible. Her own eyes widened.

The green-eyed woman smiled. "Yes, I am Vashti," she said, answering the question before it was spoken. 

"But you are dead,"  Esther whispered.

"Obviously. I am wrapped in white silk," she answered with a small smile, and both women gently laughed. 

"May we join you?" asked the older woman.

Esther nodded, still speechless. She had seen Atossa in the harem, but would never dare to speak to her.

"We come here," said Vashti, "to enjoy each other's company in a way we could not when I was queen. As queen, it was assumed I would have an adversarial relationship with my mother-in-law."

"Why?" blurted out  Esther  without thinking.

The other woman laughed, "Because, child, one would expect a new queen to be at odds with the head of harem. Vashti and I, however, have found comfort in each other's company."

"I should leave you, then,” murmured  Esther as she drew her own veil over her head.

"Stay," commanded the king's mother. Then she added, "Please. We would like you to stay."

"But...."

"Hegai has arranged for you to be here...to meet us. Don't let him feel as though he has failed. He has great faith in you; he is doing what he knows to be right not just for you, but for my son," said the king's mother. She swept past Esther into the gazebo and sat down. "Come sit with us, child; you have much to learn if you are to be queen."

"We are the voices of experience." The discarded queen took the seat on the other side of Esther. "Learn from us lest you repeat our mistakes."

So Atossa, the mother of Ahasverush, and Vashti, his discarded queen, chose to teach the young girl the secret ways of the palace. And from them, Esther learned  how to reach out to the king's head as well as his heart. 

Thus it was the wisdom and valor of women united that saved the Jews from Haman.

~ The End ~ 
Not really. It's just a beginning.

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

Purim is costumes, candy and Hamantaschen ... 

but with a twist.

We don't trick or treat, we deliver the treats. 

Kinda like ding-dong-ditch

only everyone gets something good to eat.

Chag Purim Same'ach to all!

The Brothers Schvid rehearsing for Purim