For a while there, I thought I was actively dying.

Not kidding. I felt weird when I went to bed Saturday night. Whatever took me down, did it fast. By mid-morning on Sunday, I was reviewing my burial plans in my head. I was convinced I was gonna die and no one would notice. For a while, anyway. I couldn't remember if I told anyone to swap out Ziggy's headstone for a double. Thank G-d I finished the updated will last week. One less thing to obsess about while waiting to breathe my last. Of course, this also gave me time to play internet-doc.

There I was, googling symptoms, until I dropped the phone when I fell asleep mid scrolling. I woke up a few hours later and went back to googling. It wasn't hard. I have the flu. The body aches and joint aches kinda gave it away. And let me tell you, flu-ing when old is not for the weak! The joint aches finally migrated from the shoulders and thumbs....yes, thumbs...and lodged unceremoniously in my ankles which made walking a real pain. Literally. Not even my cozy new slippers helped....although they did keep my feet warm when I finally managed to hobble across the bathroom tiles. 

I think I slept most of the last 36 hours. Somehow I got downstairs at midday today, put water up for tea, and managed to practically immolate an English muffin. Yes, it takes two presses to get it toasted, but I pretty much fell asleep standing there after I pressed the second time. No matter; it got buttered and eaten anyway. After two cups of tea, I tackled my own personal Everest sans Sherpas who I would've really liked to have had around, and made it back upstairs to my bed....which I made before I went downstairs. I mean really. Who would ever want to get back in an unmade bed....especially when feeling as punk as I did?

One always has to look at the brighter side of things, right? At least I'm not barfing, I can still managed to make the bed (Mom and Grandma Bessie would be so proud,) and I can still laugh...especially at my pathetic, sickly self. 

This is all yer gonna get because I need to sleep some more. I'm probably gonna miss minyan again tomorrow, but the proper authorities have been notified. 

The Wifely Person's Tip o'the Week

Come back next week when 

I'm back in the land of the living.